Note: This article is based on blogger Susan Cain, who talks about her personal experience with empathy.
I practice these strategies in my life and teach them to my clients and workshop participants. You can use them if you understand the stress that others feel and need ways to release it. So give it a try, see which one works best for you, and use it in situations where you're feeling upset or when you think you're dealing with someone who’s in physical or emotional pain.
Nine Strategies That Help Empathetic People Protect Themselves:
1. Thinking, “Am I experiencing these symptoms or feelings, or are they caused by someone else’s stress?”:
The idea of you absorbing someone's energy means noticing if you're experiencing a sudden change in mood or physical condition towards this person. Often, if you've never felt anxious, depressed, tired, or sick before, the discomfort stems partly from the other person.
If you move away and the feeling of discomfort fades away, then these feelings are not necessarily about you. Sometimes, these feelings or symptoms may be about you both, and these feelings attract you, especially if they relate to an issue important to you, as you are more likely to bear emotional or physical pain that you did not experience yourself. The more you address the issues that trigger you, the less likely you are to understand the feelings of others.
2. Breathe and repeat this process to get rid of negative energy:
When you're thinking negatively, focus directly on your breath for a few minutes. Take slow, deep breaths to release uncomfortable energy. Breathing helps to remove negative feelings from your body; holding your breath or simple breathing works to keep negative feelings inside.
Repeat this process as often as possible. You can also try to remove the toxic energy from the lumbar spine in your lower back. Where the spaces between the lumbar vertebrae help act as channels to get rid of unhealthy energy. Imagine the discomfort coming out of these spaces in your spine.
3. Stay away from annoying things:
Stay away from annoying things as much as possible, and if you feel comfortable, don't worry about staying away from people who annoy you. Whether you're in a medical clinic, at the cinema, or in any other public place, don't hesitate to change your seat if you're sitting next to a group of people who make noise; there is no need to stay next to them. If you don't feel comfortable, don't hesitate to move to a quieter table.
It's good to say “no” sometimes when you give yourself free rein; it means that you take care of yourself. Empathetic people often get into difficult social situations. If you encounter such situations, make sure you take breaks to regain your focus, and then, if you want to return to those gatherings, you can sit in a quieter place.
4. Minimize physical and eye contact:
Energy is transmitted through the eyes and touch. So if you feel uncomfortable with someone, reduce eye and physical contact with them.
Although hugging a family member when you are in pain often benefits both of you, if you are worried about receiving their tension, keep the hug short. You can deal with others gently from a distance because you have a choice about the type of communication you have with them.
5. Take a bath to get rid of negative emotions:
A quick way to get rid of stress and pain related to empathy is to take a bath. Salt baths are also good, as they provide magnesium and help you feel calm. You may want to add a little lavender oil to your bath, as it's soothing after a long day.
6. Set boundaries and restrictions:
In order to survive and thrive, you need to set boundaries with people. If someone is draining your energy, don't allow them to.
Limit the time you spend listening to others and nod when appropriate. For example, you may say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to go to a party tonight," or "Let's talk about this when I'm a little calmer." Alternatively, you might say, "I can't stand the yelling," "I need to meditate and calm down right now," or "I can't talk for more than a few minutes unless you want to discuss solutions." Setting strong, effective boundaries will occasionally shield you from people who deplete your energy.
7. Take some time to collect yourself:
An empathetic person needs to spend some time alone to collect their strength, so if unwanted energy is affecting you, make sure you spend some time alone to regain your focus. Try to get away for a few minutes or more from noise, bright lights, phone calls, regular messages, emails, the Internet, TV, or discussions. Sometimes it's important to feel your energy without anyone else around, and remember, you're your own best friend. It's a good way to take care of yourself.
8. Spend some time in nature:
Empathetic people love and feel at ease in nature. When they are in a pristine, clean, green environment or around a stream, the negative feelings will fade away. Try lying on green ground and feeling the energy of the place in your whole body; try walking barefoot and feeling the energy of the earth; and to get rid of other people's negative energies, feel the grass between your toes or walk on sand or soil.
9. Cut back on your internet usage:
You need to move away from technology flooding you with so much information. Social media, such as Facebook and Instagram, can impair your ability to sleep, and it is easy for these things to drain your energy. So make sure to spend some time in nature, meditate, or participate in other activities away from the Internet.
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