Emily Falk, the lead author of the study, says, "Our findings show that something as simple as thinking about core values can fundamentally change the way our brains respond to what other people tell us on a daily basis, and over time, this effect multiplies exponentially."
If you previously ignored good advice and regretted it later, this may be the reason that prevented you from accepting it, even though it was good. Likewise, if you previously gave good advice to someone and were ignored, this may be the reason behind that.
Why do we ignore good advice?
Even for the most resilient of people, life is a constant struggle for control. We all spend most of our day trying to control our thoughts and maintain that control, and it takes a lot of effort to ensure that your body does the things you want it to do. On top of all of that, you have pride and influence that you want to maintain, no matter who you are. You like to feel in control of yourself, and you like to feel powerful.
As a human being, your identity needs an illusory sense of control, but you are not an expert in everything. Therefore, sometimes you need advice from someone to help you achieve success in areas that you do not know much about. Here, the problem is that the more you feel in control, the more likely you are to ignore advice, no matter how important it is.
A team of researchers from the University of Washington, Harvard University, and Duke University conducted several tests on a group of university students. In part of the experiment, they gave praise to some of the students before advising them to guess the number of coins in a jar as accurately as possible. The compliments the students received reinforced their feelings of control.
This limited their ability to think of good advice, even when they had no idea what they were doing and the advice was coming from an experienced, kind-hearted person. They reached the same conclusion over and over again through a number of tests controlling different variables. Feeling like you have solid experience in a field is a good thing, but it turns out that it can make you overestimate your potential to the point of ignoring helpful advice.
The area of the brain responsible for receiving advice
If there is anyone who knows how to treat human nature better than others, it is undoubtedly the doctors. They have dedicated their lives to learning how to help you be healthy, although most patients meet their advice with disregard, and perhaps you also ignored the advice of a doctor before.
You often ignore advice and regret it afterward, and given that doctors are often exposed to these situations, they have a lot of experience dealing with them in the sense that they know how to get people to do the things that benefit them.
Emily Falk, the lead author of a recent study on this particular topic, revealed a surprisingly effective tactic. The thing Falk learned is that a patient who remembers the most important things in their life before receiving advice from a doctor is often more willing to accept it. The reason for this lies in the mechanism by which our brains work.
This mechanism works as follows: when we think about the important things in our lives, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex of the brain increases in activity. This region is responsible for accepting good advice. Of course, it has other functions, but we are discussing its activity after thinking about the important things in our lives; the more active this area is, the more likely it is to accept and apply expert advice.
So the more you help others remember what matters to them, the better able you will be to persuade them to put your advice into practice, which is essential if you want to build and maintain strong relationships with people.
How do you benefit from these facts in accepting advice and convincing others with your advice?
What we have mentioned shows that we all live in a paradox. On the one hand, it is good to feel strong and in control. This enhances your happiness and your ability to succeed, but on the other hand, the more confident you are in your abilities, the more likely you are to ignore valuable advice, which is what helps you achieve success. So you are in for some real irony.
So the question becomes, “How do you stay confident without missing out on great advice?” Simply take some time each day to think about the important things in your life—the valuable things that you have worked for and still work hard to achieve. Likewise, when you give advice or tips to someone, remember how important it is to make them think about the important things in their life. If you really want to help others, give advice in a way that makes it more likely that they will follow it.
Get others to think about their core values before offering your advice, and thus connect what is important to them to your advice. Perhaps no one knows why this method of persuading people works. But it works; perhaps the reason behind its success is that when a person thinks about the important things in his life, they automatically look forward to long-term goals.
In conclusion
When you think about the facts mentioned in this article, you will understand that you are not an expert in everything, and your lack of experience in everything is just a weakness in your abilities. This weakness is repaired by the good advice that people you trust give you.
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