Note: This article is based on the work of the author Marc Chernoff, in which he discusses the importance of persevering with positive daily habits in achieving success.
She wanted to run because her doctor told her that her health was in danger and she needed to exercise to avoid serious obesity-related illnesses.
But as soon as she saw the students on the running track, she felt ashamed. She decided to pull out, but as she was walking back, Coach O'Leary saw her, ran up to her, and stopped her.
The coach wanted to convince her to do the tests, but she insisted that her excess weight would not help her and that she would never lose it. The coach remarked that while she was correct that she was overweight, she only needed to drop roughly 20 kg in order to match her weight to her body form.
Sarah looked confused. This is because most people told her that she should lose about 60 kilograms, while the coach told her that she needed to lose only 20 kilograms, but the coach insisted on what he said.
Sara began competing in the Iron Ball Game while she trained to run with the rest of the team daily in the afternoon. She had a strong competitive spirit, and at the end of her first year of high school, Sara lost more than 20 kilograms, coming second in county-level iron ball throwing that year. Three years later, in her last year, she won third place in the 10-kilometer race, at which time she weighed about 59 kilograms.
Before that, Sarah was fully convinced that it was impossible to lose her excess weight, which is why she had never exercised the way she wished. She completely lost her confidence. But, with constant exercise and a daily routine involving training over and over again, Sarah regained her confidence and achieved what once seemed impossible to her. She attended my birthday party recently and surprised everyone with her grace and fitness.
To date, Sarah has been trying to maintain her achievements, and what has happened to Sarah happens to everyone. At some point, we all lose faith in ourselves, but of course, we can regain it.
We all lose faith in ourselves
| When you try over and over, you often end up succeeding. |
Some people think that, as a well-known writer for The New York Times, it's impossible to lose faith in myself ever, especially as I've spent a decade writing and teaching others how to achieve more success and happiness in their lives, it's impossible to have failed in any area of life.
But in the end, I am just a human being. I have failed many times, failing more miserably than some people imagine and more than I can admit, and like all other humans, when I fail, I feel upset and often lose my self-confidence.
I know in my heart that these negative feelings that come after failure are harmful. So I quickly accepted what happened, took lessons from the experience, and then tried again. The last step—trying again—is the most important, and here are examples of failures that I constantly fall into and how I deal with them:
- I fail to stick to a healthy diet and exercise, but I try to commit again.
- Sometimes I fail to give myself love, but I don't give up and try again.
- I fail to be a wonderful father sometimes, especially when I have pressure at work, but I keep trying and often succeed in making my son happy.
- Sometimes I fail to write articles; I make many attempts that I don't like, but in the end, I succeed in writing one that I like.
The idea is that when you try over and over, you often end up succeeding, which makes you feel more confident in yourself in the long run.
Therefore, the essential advice in this article is to keep trying and give yourself a second chance; that is the building block for success.
What You Do Over and Over Again Determines Who You Are
| Good decisions and simple habits lead to gradual progress. |
Many important things in your life, including achievements, relationships, and feelings, as well as the lessons you learn from experiences, are thanks to the simple things you repeat on a daily basis. Regardless of your unique talents, knowledge, life conditions, and definition of success and happiness, you do not suddenly become successful and happy.
You become successful and happy over time, depending on how much you want to try again and again to finally succeed, by creating simple daily habits that gradually propel you forward, both in good and bad circumstances.
Therefore, you should focus on your daily habits—in the sense that you must check that your daily habits help you achieve success by sticking to the ones that are suitable for you. Failure also occurs by sticking to inappropriate habits; small failures that do not turn into learning opportunities accumulate and ultimately lead to catastrophic failure.
Say, for example, that you’re starting a business:
- You constantly fail to verify accounts.
- You constantly fail to make the necessary connections.
- You constantly fail to listen to customers.
- You constantly fail to invent something new.
- You constantly fail to pay attention to the small details that lead to great outcomes.
Then your project fails completely, but it did not happen in a blink; it happened because of the simple things that you neglected or the simple mistakes that you did not learn from. You failed because you did not adopt habits that help achieve success, and this failure was not a coincidence or an unexpected disaster.
Your life is your project; therefore, always remember that the vast majority of negative or positive results are due to the many simple decisions that you have made during your life and to the simple habits that you practice daily.
People overestimate the importance of pivotal events, ignoring the importance of good decisions and simple habits that lead to gradual progress, although these decisions and habits lead to these decisive events.
Committing to Positive Habits is an Obvious but Difficult Concept to Stick with
The principle of daily adherence to habits or steps that lead to gradual progress is so clear that many find it cliché. However, we often find ourselves craving quick results and instant gratification. We want to see results quickly, and we want to achieve what we aspire to immediately; therefore, we make the mistake of frantically striving for success.
My wife, Angel, and I have seen hundreds of examples of this during our coaching career. We met people who wanted to achieve one or several big goals at once but could not commit to one or two habits throughout the day; they did not achieve any progress and lost their faith in themselves.
If you want success, you have to give up this mentality. There is no need for illusions; you cannot lose excess weight overnight; it’s a process—a few kilograms every month—and by persevering with the correct daily habits, you will reach the weight you want.
Try as much as possible to focus consciously on habits rather than on the big goal, because habits are what lead you to achieve the goal, so keep in mind what comes:
- If you compete in sports, your goal is to win competitions, but habits are the time you devote daily to doing exercises.
- If you are an undergraduate, your goal is to learn and get a university degree. Your habits are your daily course.
- If you are a father, your goal is to be a role model for your children. Your habits are the time and effort you devote daily to being a better example for your child
- As a human being, your goal is to live a happy and meaningful life. Your habits are the simple and positive steps you take every day to achieve happiness.
If you stop focusing on your big goals for some time and focus on your daily habits that lead to these goals, you may wonder if you will be able to make progress. For example, if you're trying to lose your extra 10 kilograms but stop thinking about your goal of losing them and focus on healthy eating and daily exercise, will you continue to lose weight? Of course, and without doubt, you will gradually reach the weight you want, and you will not return to gaining weight as long as you persevere with these habits.
You might say to yourself, “What if I fail to stick to these habits one day?” Simply accept it, don't berate yourself, then try again, and you will gradually reach your goal.
Restore Your Faith in Yourself
Arguably, restoring your faith in yourself is more beneficial than sticking to positive daily habits, which require you to try again and again. What I lacked before learning to practice these daily habits was faith that I could actually achieve the positive results I wanted in my life.
I went through so many quick solutions in the past that ended in failure. I became so frustrated, in addition to losing confidence in myself, that I subconsciously started procrastinating every time I made a promise to myself to try again and stick to the simple promises of learning, self-development, and making progress in many fields.
In Conclusion
The crux of the problem is that I have lost faith in my abilities and in myself. It's like when someone constantly lies to you and, in the end, you can no longer trust them. The same applies to the small promises you make to yourself that always end in disappointment; in the end, you stop trusting yourself.
In most cases, the solution is to regain your faith in yourself. You have to gradually regain your faith and trust by making small achievements and taking simple steps, which we have called everyday habits. This process will take time, but you will achieve amazing results if you stick to it. It is undoubtedly one of the most important things that you can do to change your life and become happy.
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