How To Accept What We Don't?

In this article, we will look at three myths and misconceptions about acceptance that prevent us from practicing it.

First myth: Acceptance means accepting what is happening with open arms

The most significant misunderstanding about acceptance is when it means that we haven't a problem with the thing we accept and that we have found a way to deal with the situation we don't want.

Reality: Acceptance doesn't mean satisfaction with the things we have accepted

Acceptance doesn't require us to accept with openness what we don't want; it doesn't include feeling satisfied or at peace with what we get, and it doesn't mean that we agree with it.

Second myth: Acceptance means not trying to change the situation

We believe that acceptance means giving up and stopping trying to change what is happening, and we are satisfied that the situation will continue forever.

Reality: Acceptance does not mean stop trying to change the status quo

Acceptance is not about giving up hope that reality will change; acceptance is about the present, not the future. Moreover, acceptance isn't a negative act; it is an act of wisdom. it means agreeing to begin the effort to change now according to reality.

Third myth: Acceptance means failure.

There is a common belief in our culture that acceptance is characteristic of the weak and that they accept things when they fail to do anything else. We view acceptance as the choice of those who have no choice and as a dismal end to the battles we have lost.

Reality: Acceptance is not a failure

When properly understood, acceptance can be seen as a kind of courage by those who have the strength to face the truth and stop denying it, and it can be the first step in achieving success and moving forward.

Reality of Acceptance

Instead of asking yourself, “Can I accept this?” formulate the phrase, “Can I feel good about it?” Or  “Can I accept this situation at this moment?” Or  “Can I live with it as it is?” It might be easier to answer these questions when you consider what we know about acceptance because the fact of the matter is that deep down inside, we aren't going to accept or agree with something we don't want fully. We should include that part in the acceptance process as well.

If we want to feel comfortable with the status quo, we must learn to feel satisfied with the part of us that refuses to accept it. Acceptance means opening to feelings of dissatisfaction as well. And that by accepting the situation and accepting our rejection, we don't try to force ourselves to stop resisting it and trying to change it. Because that desire protects us from what we don't want, we must accept the negative situation and the feelings of our hatred for it.

Moreover, acceptance may be about acknowledging what is happening, but it doesn't mean that we like it or approve of it or that we will stop trying to change it; It simply means that we accept that this is the way it is.

The key to acceptance is being open to reality as it is, not focusing on how we feel about it; it means being willing to live in unpleasant conditions.

The funny thing is that our refusal to accept a situation is a kind of rejection of reality because we refuse to admit that what actually happened has happened. We refuse to accept the reality that it is something crazy. When we practice acceptance, we easily acknowledge what is happening between us and ourselves; this allows us to start trying to change the situation or how we deal with it. Either the situation changes or you change, but the change will happen in both cases.

We waste so much of our energy on rejecting reality that we miss out on the opportunity to use it to do something about the situation, so we have an endless argument with reality. At the same time, acceptance allows us to start at least doing everything we can from our current situation.

Acceptance is a significant and powerful step in our growth and development, and it requires courage to be honest with ourselves about our situation. It also requires us to resolve to feel what is real, even if it is painful because it is much more useful than trying to avoid those feelings by denying reality.

When we practice acceptance, which involves feelings of rejection, we allow ourselves to move forward with our lives, live the present moment as it is, and stop trying to deny reality, which is exhausting and futile.

Acceptance may seem illogical, but actually, it's a very wise choice, and when we're willing to say, “Yes, that 's the case whether I want to or not,” we'll rest deep down because we won't have to pretend anymore.

It is strange; we always know what is real, but we try to deceive ourselves by not accepting it. But when we accept it, we allow ourselves to be honest. When we can say that we accept this situation, even if we hate it and don't know what to do about it, we will be at least honest, and that, in the end, is the bravest and strongest way to live and the best state of self-love on which we can build our lives.