We encounter requests of this nature so frequently in our daily lives that we have developed the skill to reject them, but occasionally you say yes. Consider the last time this occurred to you; what was different about that interaction that led you to comply with the request? What actions did the other person take to persuade you?
Because what the other person did was so barely perceptible that you didn't even realize what they did, you probably won't remember, and it doesn't seem like anything has changed. Numerous psychological studies on behavior and persuasion claim that it's because other people touch you, not in an annoying or hurtful way—otherwise, you'd remember it. It only takes a light touch or two to temporarily alter the way your brain functions, causing you to have a different opinion of the person and their request.
Check out this trick if you're having trouble persuading someone to fulfill a simple request for you, whether it's your child, your partner, or a coworker. Although it's simple, it has the power to improve your life in a variety of ways, including your ability to be more successful, earn more money, build stronger relationships, and other things.
Touch Increases Acceptance
The psychology of touch has piqued the interest of scientists and businesses for decades. Companies want to know how they can use this knowledge to make more money, while researchers want to understand why people behave in a particular way. As a result, large-scale research demonstrates that the probability of the second party accepting your request is increased by the right touch at the right time.
Additionally, they've discovered that it's sufficient to increase tips left by customers at restaurants, persuade people to participate in surveys, share personal information, and help in finding lost items, to name a few. It even improves a person's response to a request after they have agreed to it. For instance, if someone agrees to participate in a survey by touching them, they are more likely to finish the survey than to abandon it before they're done.
You may wonder about the reason for that and how a touch might be considered an encroachment on your personal space, persuading you to do something that you would have refused in a normal state. The answer is complex and simple at the same time. The simple part is that we are social beings who have adapted to respond positively when someone hugs us, but the complicated part is what happens next.
You won't notice when someone touches you in the right way, but your body will go through significant changes. Physical contact causes your brain to release dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, which are the chemicals responsible for making you feel happy. It also causes levels of the stress hormone cortisol to drop, which slows your heart rate, relieves stress, and reduces the fight-or-flight response, which means it relaxes you.
Therefore, all it takes is one touch to put you in a state of mind where you can listen and instantly bond with the person asking for something. In a second, you go from feeling annoyed and ready to fawn to feeling comfortable and ready to do what they ask, but it all depends on you touching the other person in the right way.
How Do You Touch Others in the Right Way to Get What You Want?
Touching someone gently and in the right way when you're asking for something, especially if they're a stranger, can be enough to change their mind from rejecting to accepting.
As you read this article, you might be recalling instances when someone touched you in a way you didn't like and it felt like they were trying to manipulate you or were being insincere, frightful, or inappropriate. These instances might stick in your memory forever.
But keep in mind that the touch that feels good to you is the one that the other person hardly notices and that occurs at the perfect time and in the perfect manner. The way you touch can make the difference between a touch you remember forever and one you don't even notice.
Here's How to Touch Someone in a Way That Persuades Them to Do Anything:
1. It must be desired by the other person
You might be wondering if you should ask first, but the person's body language should make it clear whether they will mind if you touch them or not.
For instance, if a person is standing straight and has a happy or neutral expression on their face, it can be assumed that they won't mind being touched. However, if they are hunched over, fixated on something else, or crossing their arms, these behaviors indicate that they aren't yet ready to accept your touch. Always be mindful of body language, and one quick way to do this is to extend your hand to shake theirs. If they accept, they won't mind if you touch them, but if they don't, then you should avoid touching them.
2. You should touch the person on the upper arm
This is a rule that must be followed when touching someone you don't know very well. It is considered appropriate to touch a stranger between the elbow and the shoulder, so don't stray from it. For the best results, follow this touch with a handshake.
3. The touch should be quick and unobtrusive
If the other person notices your use of touch as a persuasion technique, you won't be successful, so practice on people you feel comfortable around, and you shouldn't touch the person for more than a moment.
4. You must be very close to the person
Being no further than 3/4 of an arm's length away from the other person helps them not notice when you touch them. Also, this way, you can avoid awkwardly extending your hand. The required distance for a handshake is a useful indicator in this situation as well.
5. You must be confident in yourself when touching the person
People who have confidence immediately make us feel at ease, and people who lack confidence make us uncomfortable. Humans are very good at detecting self-confidence or a lack of it. Therefore, if you decide to touch someone, do so without second thought. If your body language suggests that you are not confident in yourself, never touch anyone.
6. Touch must be accompanied by eye contact
Making eye contact will make you seem more confident and sincere while diverting attention from your touch, but you must be sincere and confident, otherwise, it will feel awkward.
7. It does not have to be accompanied by pressure
The ideal moment to touch someone is when you are just beginning to speak to them or when you are on the verge of winning their agreement. However, if you are trying to explain and persuade someone who is not interested in your request, it is too late because it will appear that you are trying to manipulate them.
8. It must be accompanied by a smile
No matter what you say, make sure the rest of your body is at ease before you touch the person because the majority of the information we receive during communication is nonverbal, such as posture, facial expressions, and voice tone.
In Conclusion
You can use a light touch at the right time to influence and persuade people to do what you want them to do, get your kids to behave as you want, close a crucial business deal, or persuade a stranger to help you find your lost car keys. However, the line between acceptable and unacceptable touch is thin, so be sure to follow the aforementioned steps carefully as you practice and improve your skill.
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