Reality is strange. It is very strange. It is stranger and more confusing than any you can imagine. I mean, who needs a fantasy when you live in one?
What makes reality such a confusing fantasy is that it is different for everyone. There is not a single reality in which everyone resides. My reality is unique and different from yours, which causes us to interpret the same experiences in completely different ways. In turn, our unique interpretations of the same experiences make our reality more distinct.
As Robert M. Pirisig wrote: “We were both looking at the same thing, seeing the same thing, talking about the same thing, thinking about the same thing, except he was looking, seeing, talking, and thinking from a completely different dimension.”
Our own perception of the world actually shapes our own reality. Steven Covey calls this unique cognitive phenomenon the "paradigms" by which we view life.
Our cognitive models are the prisms through which each of us sees the world, he says. A "map", where, like roads and obstacles, all of our life experiences unfold. We can change the path we take, but we cannot change the map we navigate without changing our perception.
Perception is truth and anybody has a unique expertise of truth:
By comparing our perception with a map, Covey highlights a very important point about our reality. Just like two people reading different maps but trying to get to the same place, trying to understand someone through your own perception can lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and often a lack of direction.
You wouldn’t try to translate a Russian book with the French alphabet. But when we assume that others share our perception, that’s what we’re doing.
"This is the source of the trouble. People tend to think and feel exclusively in one way or another, and in doing so, they tend to misunderstand and underestimate what the other way is all about. But no one is willing to give up the truth as they see it, as far as I know.” - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.
However, there is power in perception. Like updating a map with new information, we have the power to change our own perceptions. Instead of seeing the world around us through the prism of our perception, greater understanding comes from seeing the world through the prism of others' perceptions. In this way, you see the truth as you want to see it, but you also see the truth as others see it, and since perception is reality, you see the full truth.
And so, if perception is reality and we have the ability to change our perception, then we have the ability to change our reality.
This is where the ultimate power lies. When we realize that our reality is controlled by ourselves and no one else, our perception shifts from street view to world map. We control our likes and dislikes, our problems and solutions, our friends and enemies, our positives and negatives, and ultimately our happiness and satisfaction.
In conclusion:
So, to move forward, try to change your perception. Instead of assuming that people see things your way, assume they don't. Look through the other person's lens and try to see the life map they're reading. You don't have to give up your perception of reality, but by expanding your perception to include the perspectives of others, you will broaden your perception of reality.
Reality can be a fantasy, but a broader understanding of it can't be a bad thing.
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