One can get rid of most of one's bad habits and accomplish much of what one wants, but controlling our jealousy remains one of the biggest challenges we face in our journey of self-discovery.
We develop a sense of jealousy from a young age. The tiniest situations can fuel this feeling in us, and it quickly causes our disorder as if we have a radar through which we discover any competition with those around us.
Then we have many questions, such as "Why does so-and-so deserve all this attention and love?" "Why is life not fair?" "Why can't I reach the same level of success as so-and-so?" and I love my job just as much, too?” and " Was I just born lucky?" and it goes on like this.
Most of us have experienced jealousy to varying degrees from time to time, and feeling various emotions is part of being human. It is normal to feel jealous of others for things we do not yet have, but this often causes most of the pain we experience. The need to compare ourselves to others can become a doctrine in our lives and make us act out of the ordinary when we do not allow ourselves to process these strange feelings, leading to sabotaging our relationships with others.
To hide our jealousy, we lock it in or let it turn into resentment. Either way, this doesn't give us emotional satisfaction, and we start lying about how we feel and what we want to express.
6 Ways to help you deal with your jealousy
1. Cherish the success of others as if it were your own
It can be challenging. We still live in a world of distance, and pride in the success of others is not a natural behavior in our societies that honors outstanding performance by continuing to compete with each other, but we are united. When we enable ourselves to celebrate the achievements of others with true happiness and acceptance, we will receive similar treatment.
2. Focus on your talents
By human nature, we evaluate our performance compared to professionals with similar talents or yeses. We must remind ourselves not to fall into the trap of comparison so that we can focus on mastering our work and improving our skills within a gradual growth process.
It is training that increases our efficiency, not the pursuit of perfection. When we aim to be perfect, focusing on our need to improve becomes easier, and our frustration begins because we do not provide the required effort.
Everyone is different and unique from birth in different ways, but the ability to recognize and use one's gifts without engaging in unconscious competition makes the biggest difference. Keep in mind that nobody is exactly like you. Nobody has the qualities you were born with. You exhibit unquestionable self-confidence when you're willing to make peace with yourself and refuse to judge yourself based on societal norms.
3. Pay attention to what makes you jealous
The difficulty of celebrating the success of others stems from our inner longing to have the same thing, which we don't seem to have at the moment.
We humans don't care about things far from our area of interest, but when you pay attention to something that makes you jealous, you identify the things that interest you. Instead of looking at the things you don't have, look at what you want to get closer to, and remember that the more you celebrate the success of others, the more luck you have.
4. Gratitude
We need to deal with this feeling of inferiority. Deep down, we yearn to be better than we are, more successful, stronger, more distinguished, more appreciative, and with a more purposeful life. When you feel jealous, this is your chance to be honest with yourself and determine whether this feeling pushes you forward or frustrates you.
Everyday gratitude is the best remedy for feeling inferior, and you can use sticky notes to hang the word “gratitude” everywhere to remind you of the blessings you enjoy until your heart is satisfied.
When you are thankful for what you have, the Lord will bless and give you more. Avoid letting jealousy keep you from moving forward and make you come across as an unappreciative person who only sees what they lack.
5. Sympathy
Negative comments can be a form of jealousy. We can develop greater empathy when receiving negative judgments from others. Empathy is the antidote to jealousy. It allows you to realize that you have things people want and cannot have, whether they are material possessions or talents.
Because they do not represent your personal beliefs, you shouldn't let what others say affect you. They are merely projections of what other people think of you. Recognize the source of these remarks, but keep walking towards your dreams and goals and believing in yourself instead of letting their criticism stop you.
6. Openness to real communication
Instead of focusing on the negative emotions caused by jealousy, look at it as an opportunity to express your weaknesses. Where does this sense of jealousy come from? Do you have a deep fear of loss, abandonment, or criticism?
When we allow ourselves to talk about the deep feelings behind jealousy, we become more honest and open with ourselves and others who support that talk in building truthful relationships with them.
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