Note: This article is by Vanessa Van Edwards, who tells us how to talk about your qualities without bragging.
4 Tips to promote yourself without bragging
1. Tell a story about one of your attributes
Make a list of the most critical traits you are proud of and that you want others to know about you.
For example, if an interviewer asks a question about describing your best attributes, you may answer that you:
- Are an organized person.
- Pay great attention to details.
- Are a strategic thinker.
Just mentioning these traits, however, may seem like you’re bragging, which makes it hard to believe, but what you can do instead is share a story about each trait.
You might say something like:
“In my previous position, I coordinated a sizable project that required close attention to detail due to its several stages. As a result, I assumed leadership of the newly formed team, and everything went well and the project was a great success.”
This way, you share a story that showcases the trait while also using that word in the story, and this is a win-win for everyone.
This method may seem more natural and help the other person visualize your traits. Remember that we love stories instinctively, so use this to your advantage, as it is easier for someone to believe you if they can imagine you in an interesting situation where you do impressive things.
2. Practice telling your stories out loud
What you may find when you tell your stories is that you may feel embarrassed or ashamed, which is normal. It is difficult to talk about ourselves, but the solution to overcoming embarrassment is to practice sharing those stories out loud.
Imagine that you are sitting with a friend for coffee, and you have to tell them stories about your attributes. How will you go about it?
Practice telling your story out loud to make it easier for you.
Tip: If you want to apply this method on the ground, reach out to your true best friend or someone you trust and try telling them these stories.
3. Incorporate all of the story's components into your stories
Here's another way to capture your story. Imagine the three main elements of a really nice story:
- Problem: In any great story, an obstacle must be identified, and it can be a problem you or someone else is facing.
- Hard work: Next, how did you work so hard and intelligently to solve it?
- Solution: What was the final result or measurable outcome?
4. Say what others have said about you
If you don't want to talk about your positive traits yourself, let others do it for you. For example, if you are talking on a platform, you can prepare a brief biography and send it in advance so that someone else reads it to you on the platform, or you can even read the biography yourself. You can also use references or quotes from people you care about.
Let's go back to the example of the interview and talk about how much you care about the details. You can either tell them your carefully thought-out story or tell them the following, “I loved my last job; my boss always told me that I was the most reliable employee ever.”
Notice how both can be more influential than just saying, “I pay attention to the details; referring to someone else's comments about you is more persuasive because the other person can always communicate and verify this reference. Thus, if your boss or any of your references say good things about you in your letters of recommendation or in the past, you can remember this as a story as well.
You can say something like:
"Oh, you know, my colleagues want to give me really messy big projects because I like to organize, and I will spend hours researching and organizing; I was the office organizer."
Now is your chance to develop your own way of promoting yourself without having to brag.
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