Note: This article is based on the writer "Marc Shernoff", in which we share 12 common toxic beliefs among his training clients and how to address these beliefs.
“I hate to admit it, but I envy the drummer because, if only I could quiet the voices in my head, I could achieve the same level of success in every aspect of my life as he has.”
These inspiring statements come from a new participant in our training courses.
So, I asked her: "Which voices?"
“It is the voices in my head that keep telling me that I'm not good enough, that I lack a lot, that it's too late for me, and that the people who object are always right and I'm wrong," she replied.
She then delved further into the topic, requiring us to pause the session and go into more detail to bring her back on track.
12 Toxic Beliefs You Need to Get out of Your Mind:
The same toxic beliefs affect many people worldwide and from different socio-economic backgrounds, so today I'd like to list 12 of them that our training and course clients most frequently hold:
1. “I'm Not Good Enough:”
You have to accept and value every aspect of who you are, including your flaws and mistakes, to overcome their influence on you. It's a common mistake for people to overvalue what they lack while undervaluing who they are.
Your beliefs about yourself and the nature of life are what prevent and hinder you in every situation, and your perceptions directly affect your life experiences. Your beliefs are shaped by your perception, which in turn influences your behavior and, ultimately, your experience.
2. “I Missed My Chance:”
Every moment gives you a new beginning or end, and every second that passes is a fresh opportunity. Your next opportunity is right now, and you have the power to seize it by choosing to be positive and free or to stay chained to your negative thoughts. You can choose to live in the shadow of the past or to look forward with hope to the present.
3. “I don't Have a Reason to Be Happy in My Life:”
Even in the quietest and most peaceful setting, an ungrateful heart will find issues; however, a grateful person will always find peace. There is always something to be grateful for in your life. Being optimistic in bad circumstances is not naive. Instead, the fact that you decided to smile and appreciate your life rather than whine and complain about your challenging circumstances shows strength and leadership.
If you're struggling with this, try practicing gratitude for the difficulties you don't have to deal with. So stop whining about your life and instead spend more time admiring its beauty. Substitute "I have the opportunity to" for "I should." We often complain about the things that other people desire for themselves.
4. “My Life Should Be Easier:”
One develops strength through hardships, and life builds you up even when it seems to be breaking you down. So, try your best and give it all you have without worrying about the outcome. Life's challenges are what make it enjoyable, and overcoming them gives our existence purpose.
5. "I'm So Tired, I'll Finish My Tasks Later;"
You must understand that the word "later" is a lie. Instead of overthinking and analyzing things and wasting time without accomplishing anything, you must either make an immediate decision to give up or move on and give your best right away. Action is more informative than thinking because once you start working, you will be able to consider your priorities.
6. “I Don't Have Enough Time:”
We all have 24 hours a day, so you have the same amount of time as the successful and diligent people you admire and envy. Therefore, keep in mind the following law of happiness and success: “You must concentrate on the crucial issues and avoid the unimportant ones because what you pay attention to and focus on expands.”
7. “I Have a Lot of Commitments:”
We all have a lot of commitments, but no matter how hard you try, you will inevitably let down some people. However, by letting go of commitments that are not important to you, you will make room for more important ones. Additionally, the fact that you may have abandoned some people does not make you a bad person. Therefore, be kind to yourself, do your best to act lovingly when the situation calls for it, and remember that you can't always please everyone.
8. “I Need a Guarantee Before I Start:”
Accept the uncertainty; you cannot be both brave and comfortable at the same time. You don't need guarantees about everything in your life because that is not how life works.
You need to expand your perspective and stop letting fear dictate your future because the beginnings of the various stages of your life might not provide you with a sense of comfort until later.
9. “I'm Different So People Don't Understand Me:”
Sometimes we focus on those who reject us rather than the many people who accept us despite our differences. You must be aware of this concept and refrain from letting negative emotions affect decisions that seem reasonable and right to you.
When you get negative feedback, remember that it's normal for some people to not understand you; what matters is your awareness of those who do. Therefore, learn to accept criticism seriously but impersonally. The way people feel about you is more about them than it is about you. Taking things personally is a major source of our lives' sadness, disappointment, and pain.
In most cases, it can be considered healthy and beneficial behavior to disregard other people's opinions, both positive and negative, and carry out your work using your wisdom and intuition.
10. “I Don't Deserve to Be Treated Better:”
Keep in mind that how other people treat you is determined by the standards you set for yourself. Your relationships with others are only a reflection of your relationship with yourself.
11. “It's Wrong, But If No One Finds Out, It's Okay:”
Doing the right thing is always important, even if no one knows about it because you know, and this changes everything in the long run.
12. "My Life Is Boring:"
This case is typical and illustrates how shallowly you view life. Therefore, you must get up, open your eyes, and explore life without waiting for inspiration from others. Pay attention to what is going on inside of you and around you because awareness opens up opportunities in life and makes you eager and open to learning new things all the time. Growth can never be boring.
In Conclusion:
You cannot exceed your self-esteem and you cannot achieve more than you believe you deserve because everything that occurs to you in the long term is a direct reflection of how you view yourself in the short term. You are either strengthened or weakened by your beliefs.
A happy and successful life depends on one's mindset and way of thinking, not on accomplishments or outside factors. Eternal happiness and success represent an attitude based on strong and supportive beliefs and thoughts because your thoughts and beliefs about your life largely determine how you feel (your attitude), the actions you take (your behavior), and your accomplishments (the outcome).
These toxic beliefs cause problems for many people. Everyone has negative impulses and thoughts that are ingrained deep within them and occasionally have the power to affect their thinking. The key to overcoming these beliefs before they interfere with your daily life is awareness, which is a necessary first step.
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