What is Narcissism and How is the Narcissist Treated?

The narcissistic personality is one of the most complex personalities. Some researchers even went further and described the owners of this personality as vampires. Accordingly, it was necessary to know how to deal with the narcissistic personality correctly and protect ourselves from falling victim to their behavior and behavior.

What is Narcissism?

The concept of narcissism was linked to the Greek myth that tells the story of young Narcisse or Narcissus, the young man whom all the girls fell in love with, but he could only love himself after he saw his reflection on the face of the lake, so he died by suicide because of this love, and a beautiful flower grew in the same place named after him, the flower of narcissus.

Narcissism, as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary of Psychology, is an inflated individual's self-evaluation, preoccupation with fantasies of glory and power, a sense of superiority, and a tendency to exploit and influence others.

It is worth noting here that narcissism is sometimes confused with several other concepts, including egoism, vanity, self-love, and domination, as there is a thin line between it and narcissism.

Many experts and researchers stress that the narcissistic personality is formed in early childhood and that the narcissistic behavior that develops in adolescence is merely confirmation and reinforcement of that behavior.

What are the factors that lead to the formation of a narcissistic personality?

Many reasons contribute to the formation of the narcissistic personality, including:

• The strong criticisms that parents make to their children, or the excessive appreciation that the child gets, is often directed at the person the child or themselves, and not at their work, such as when parents use phrases of the kind that you are splendid, exceptional, instead of saying, for example, your performance is fantastic, your work was magnificent. Accordingly, we note that most narcissists are the first children of the family or the only ones for their parents.
• Stabilize the narcissistic behavior of the child by constantly repeating it until it eventually becomes a characteristic of their personality.
• If one of the parents is, of course, narcissistic, then the child's imitation of that parent contributes to the stability of narcissistic behavior.
• It may also be one of the reasons for narcissism, and showing this exaggerated inflation of the self results from a deep sense of inferiority in the same narcissist, so their actions and behavior are a means to defend these feelings.
• Some researchers attribute the causes of narcissism to organic factors as well as the psychological and educational factors mentioned above, which are the imbalance of neurotransmitters between brain cells.

Statistics show that males are more likely to be narcissists than females.

Characteristics of a Narcissist

A narcissist exhibits many traits that distinguish them from others, including:

• Arrogance and vanity and it shows an exaggerated sensitivity to any criticism.
• The narcissist littles others, tends to belittle them and their feelings, and is clearly superior to them.
• Envy: A narcissistic individual is jealous of others and gets extremely agitated when they observe someone else succeeding.
• The narcissist is very relational. They are unable to continue to love, and the subject of love is nothing but nourishment for their narcissism, as they derive strength and energy from the feelings of love and the words of praise and praise that they hear from others.
• The narcissist is also an ambitious and leading person, and they always show dissatisfaction with the leadership of others. It is essential to mention that many of the leaders, presidents, and celebrities in the world were narcissists, such as Stalin, Hitler, Gaddafi, Pablo Picasso, and others.
• A narcissist is also talkative, boastful, tyrannical, stubborn, and always inclined to imitate successful people.
• Excessive elegance people exaggerate using perfume, makeup, and expensive clothes and always try to point that out in their conversation.
• Finally, the narcissist also exaggerates, paying too much attention to cleanliness.

If at least five of these traits appear, the person is a narcissist. If their appearance intensifies to the detriment of the person themselves and those around them, narcissism becomes a disease. Narcissism at its most extreme becomes a disease known as narcissistic personality disorder.

Many researchers and psychologists also see narcissism as a natural phenomenon resulting from the new conditions of modern life, in which the ego is increasingly self-centered, glorified, and revered.

At the end of talking about the qualities that narcissists have, it is necessary to mention two main points:

• Narcissistic people exaggerate their intelligence, beauty, strength, and control, making them unloved by those close to them. However, they are loved by the people they interact with remotely, as they are attractive at the beginning of the relationship.
• Narcissists are more likely than others to use social media, as these sites allow them to present their inflated self and their stylized images on a silver platter.

How to deal with the narcissist?

The best way to deal with narcissistic people, according to some, is to avoid them entirely. However, this strategy won't work if the narcissistic person is someone close to you, your family, or your boss at work, for example. Staying away is not the best option because it will weaken our relationships and possibly cost us business. Instead, there are ways to handle them appropriately to not cause harm to either party.

If you are dealing with a narcissist, pay attention to the following points:

• Before anything, after you are sure that the person you are dealing with is narcissistic, you must know what type of narcissism this person belongs to. There are great narcissists and weak narcissists, and the latter is considered the most challenging and complex type. That is because they do not feel satisfied with themselves, and they use you to fill this gap in their feelings, so they depend on you and drain your energy without you even knowing it. So, understand well who you are dealing with.
• Set limits on your relationship with them from the beginning, especially if the relationship is a business relationship, such as making it clear to them that you are not available at every moment and will not be fully and completely ready to carry out their wishes and orders.
• Be extremely patient and understanding, and if your boss is a narcissist, be aware that these people do not tolerate criticism, and you will always have to repeat compliments and admiration.
• Talk about yourself to get the person in front of you out of their circle of self, their unparalleled successes that they talk about all the time, and do not take the role of a listener or a bystander. You also have achievements that deserve to be talked about.
• Ignore: Try to stay away from the narcissist's spotlight, so don't focus on their needs, goals, and desires. Instead, focus on your own life and yourself, ignore everything they say, don't allow them to enter your own world, don't change your priorities for them, and don't let them negatively affect your psyche. If the relationship you have with them is a working relationship, remember that it is a specific relationship with working hours, and outside these times, ignore them and stay away from them as much as possible; also, do not forget that you have to make your voice heard every now and then so that they do not think that they have weakened or broken you.
• Be confident in yourself and your decisions, as some people do not admit their mistakes and do not take responsibility for their actions or harming the feelings of others. They are always looking for a hanger to hang their mistakes, you or anyone. So, never allow them to manipulate you and convince you that you are the wrong person, the cause of the quarrel, and the source of constant distress. You are right, so stand firm and do not allow the flow of emotions they will push toward you to affect your stability.
• Don't be ashamed to ask for help if you need it. Your constant and continuous interaction with the narcissist may negatively affect your physical and psychological health. If you develop symptoms of anxiety, insomnia, or depression, seek support from your friends. If the situation worsens, don't hesitate to consult a specialist doctor.

When should we permanently break up with the narcissist?

You may take all the steps we mentioned above, but you are still exposed to harm from this relationship, and this is an indication that this relationship has gone beyond acceptable limits and has become a harmful relationship, and you must break it off permanently.

So, what are the signs that you need to take this step?

1. Being insulted and humiliated in front of people.
2. The person you are dealing with always blames you, holds you responsible for any mistake that occurs, and clothes you with qualities and accusations that are not related to you, all of which will weaken your self-esteem and lead you to an advanced stage of loss of self-confidence.
3. They always talk badly about your other friends and family and try to keep you away from everyone, to make themselves your only world, and to make everything centered around them, so that thinking of separating from them becomes like someone who risks their whole world.

Conclusion “There are people who cannot be saved from drowning”

Many studies have shown that narcissistic people actually suffer from a lack of self-confidence and a lack of self-esteem. They are personalities who try to appear strong and great because they are crushed from the inside, and their arrival in this state was only the result of many frustrations, obstacles, and wrong conditions they suffered from. They are, therefore, more vulnerable than others to stress, breakdowns, and emotional instability.

All of this leads us to say that any attempt to change them is a failure and that the proper reaction towards them is to sympathize with them and try to understand them to become more patient while dealing with them, but remember well that all this has to stop when things get out of control, so withdrawing from the relationship becomes the best solution.