Reasons Why Open-Mindedness is an Essential Part of Self-Development

Note: This article is adapted from Erin Harrison's blog, where she gives us 3 reasons why open-mindedness is an essential part of personal growth.

However, usually rational discussions are very few and far between, and I've noticed through observation and experience that many hostile disagreements stem from closed-mindedness on both sides, and from simply not listening.

Why is open-mindedness such an essential part of self-development?

Here are 3 reasons for that:

1. It change your approach to conversations

I've seen many people get into arguments (honestly, I can't even call them arguments; it's more like a verbal attack) by directly telling the person they're arguing with that they're wrong. This leads to the person feeling humiliated.

But instead, we must recognize that the person with whom we disagree has a reason for their belief, and in order to determine whether this reason is valid and reliable, we must listen to them. Also,  we must recognize that they believe their method is the best and safest way.

Also, you should keep in mind that open-mindedness is not just a way to form your political beliefs. Rather, you must use it and not reject ideas before you hear them and think about them.

Let's look at this thought process in terms of letting go of self-doubt, insecurity, and anxiety. It can be difficult to understand why some friends and family members suffer from anxiety or self-doubt. So, instead of telling them: “Don't worry,” we should ask them what they are worried about, why they are worried about it, and what helps them relieve their fears.

Then, we should express our understanding of their concern, and discuss its reasons and the actions that should be taken  to prevent it from happening in the future. The phrase "don't worry" ignores real fears and creates a sense of shame for having them, which is not conducive to the growth of either party.

On the other hand, if you are suffering from something like anxiety or self-doubt and want to get help, you can expect that you are late in taking any advice from someone that might actually help you, but if you take someone's advice without listening and act according to it, the conversation will not be productive. This is because you will have decided that your case is an exception; therefore, in order to get help, you must be open to it first.

2. It allows space for both parties to admit their shortcomings

It is very unhelpful to consider our opinions infallible simply because we hold them. If we are afraid of our weird reasoning, we make our ideas seem more extreme because we offer "perfect" solutions instead of listening to others' opinions.

For example, if someone has negative coping mechanisms for stress, they shouldn't dismiss it as if it's no big deal. That is, instead of not seeing it as a problem, one  should admit that something was wrong in the first place. Likewise, if their friend tries to suggest a behavior to replace the negative behavior, the friend should not think that this is the best and only way to live.

This again comes down to your coping style, which proves that someone with negative coping mechanisms may not want to rely on them; Rather, they want to improve.

3. The conversation will be more honest and productive

No matter what you think, it's easy to turn a conversation into personal attacks and angry comments, but when we get rid of these behaviors, we make room for real facts, experiences, and perspectives. An open-minded person gives others the opportunity to express their opinions fully, which means that at the end of the conversation, if the two people disagree, they can then say, "I don't agree, but I understand why," which results in less offensiveness and hostility.

As a child, I was very self-assured. Some might choose the word arrogant, but let's use the word "extraordinarily confident," and apparently, most children have problems recognizing the positive traits they share with others. I struggled with that too; my self-love was too old to see that other girls are pretty and smart.

However, at some point, when I was in middle school, my intolerance of leaving the house without any make-up started to replace my high self-confidence.

I made an unhealthy habit of comparing myself to others in my daily routine throughout my six years of social media use. I didn't realize how dangerous it was until I found myself comparing myself to other girls who, before going to bed, wished for their perfect lives. But in the end, I resented it because I was focusing on it so much every day.

However, instead of taking actual steps to ease this unhealthy self-imposed habit, I let it stay, I chose to ignore it, and I acted like I had no reason to fix anything since I have already identified the problem.

It is illogical for us to treat our personal setbacks as if they were a book we wanted to read for years, and not to approach it. So, the only way to overcome the habit of comparison is to allow ourselves to feel dissatisfied now and then. That is, I had to stop ignoring the problem.

So, I started trying slowly but surely. I would find myself lurking on someone's page, but then I would realize the lies I was constantly telling myself and do my best to lift my spirits. Then one day, I read a saying that said, "Just because she's pretty doesn't mean you are not."

I wish seeing a beautiful empowering saying like that changed my perspective on life completely, and I wish I could say I never showed any undercurrent negative reaction after it.

However,  that's not the case, as what it meant was that ever since, when I'm stuck by comparison, I was reminding myself that in this universe there is enough beauty, and there is room for everyone to be beautiful. That is, the beauty of anyone else will not eliminate your beauty.

I used to think that if I was as "pretty" as the girls I compared myself to, I wouldn't have any more trouble, but understanding that in this universe there is enough beauty is directly related to the realization that no one is exempt from grief. Someone will always disappoint us, we will always have an opponent, and negativity or sadness will never completely disappear from our lives.