Outcome Dependence Leads To Failure

This is the problem with all goal-oriented people, and it is one of the most difficult things to balance when pursuing an ideal vision for your life.

Outcome dependence:

What is outcome dependence? It is a state of mind that occurs when a person is so focused on achieving a goal that successfully achieving that goal is all that matters, and the process of reaching that goal is just a necessary component in achieving the desired outcome. This means that if you do not achieve the goal, everything is for naught.

Outcome dependence manifests in the form of fear and anxiety that the goal will not be achieved the way it was planned. This leads to a state of fear of failure, which robs the person of the present moment and forces them to live in a state of anxiety and fear of the future, and because the future – by definition – is not limited in its possible outcomes, it is natural for an outcome-dependent person to worry about a future that may not exist at all.

Think about your life: what are your goals? How do you plan to achieve them? Do you enjoy the process of getting there, or are you worried about the possibility of not succeeding?

If you worry about the future and fear failure, you are likely outcome-dependent, and if you place importance on the potential outcomes of your goal, your outcome dependence has become a dependence on failure. Your happiness or misery directly depends on how much failure – or success – you take upon yourself. 

Positively managing feelings of failure:

Note how the failure you may or may not feel is just a feeling, and one you force yourself to experience directly. Failure is not a person or even an event, but a view that can be controlled and managed. However, it is impossible to manage the feeling of failure positively if you are dependent on the outcome.

This is due to two reasons:

1. If you work hard towards your goal but don’t achieve it, your outcome dependence will force you to view yourself as a failure. It doesn’t matter how much you have developed or learned during the process, all you care about is that the outcome was not the one you had hoped for. 
2. Even if you achieve your goal, there is a possibility that the outcome will not be as you imagined. The future is unpredictable, and even successfully achieving your goal may lead to different outcomes than you imagined.

So, if you’re outcome-dependent, you’ve probably set yourself up for failure. But if failure can be controlled—or at least the feeling of failure—then why would someone deliberately set themselves up to fail? And why would they continue to depend on the outcome?

Outcome independence:

We must separate ourselves from the outcome, and develop a sense of independence from them. Outcome independence manifests in the true enjoyment of the journey of reaching the goal. You have goals, and you work hard to achieve them, but you understand that the ultimate value is gained from increasing growth and learning as you pursue your goals. Goals are important to you only because they force you to increase your potential and growth.

So while outcome dependence causes negative feelings like fear and anxiety, outcome independence gives you completely opposite feelings of calm and happiness. They are the product of focusing on the journey and not on the end result, because journeys worth taking never have disadvantages, only new opportunities and experiences.

Why is outcome independence a must?

It is easy to stress the principles and benefits of outcome independence, but being actually outcome-independent is much more difficult. We all have lofty goals, we desire to achieve them, and we have a very clear vision of our ideal lives, and in order to make this vision a reality, we need to fulfill our goals and exceed them.

If you want to be a successful entrepreneur, a music producer, a loving spouse, or anything else, there are specific goals that must be achieved in order to live the life you want. If the vision of your life is worthwhile, the desire to achieve them will always be present, and our goals will then be extremely important, so much that we may depend on them. It is a critical point, but we must focus on the end goal, and evaluate success by the person we become and not the goals we achieve.

If you are an aspiring entrepreneur – for example – your goal may be to start a multi-million dollar business. Therefore, you have to save for your personal project, start building a business as a side job, and when you are ready, you quit your job. However, soon you realize that your plan will not go as expected, and you may have to live on your savings a little longer than expected. You will also realize that you need advice from successful people in your field, so you start to communicate with mentors and peers, all while working on your project.

Your sales cycle may be slow, but you start methodically gaining traction, befriending inspiring entrepreneurs, establishing your presence in entrepreneurial social circles, then reinvesting your profits back in business, and traveling the world to connect with stakeholders and influencers.

After a few years of difficult challenges, you realize that your project will not turn into the multi-million dollar enterprise you set out to create. It ends up being a business that generates around $100,000 in annual profits, and gives you the ability to live and work anywhere you want.

If you are an outcome-dependent person, you’ll count your project as a failure, and that will be the end of the story. However, if you are an outcome-independent person, your journey will be an absolute success. You met new, interesting people, traveled the world, finally faced your fears, seized the opportunity, and started a successful business by many people’s standards. Your growth through your experiences is what you focus on.

In conclusion:

The benefits of being outcome-independent are obvious, but this is easier said than done. However, the most important thing is that regardless of your choice, it is important to set goals and then actively pursue them. The solution is – while pursuing your goals and building your life effectively – realizing that the outcome is not the goals you achieve, but the person you become as a result of pursuing those goals.