Undoubtedly, the feeling of failure is difficult, especially when it reaches a point where I can't bear it. However, I had to deal with it appropriately to prevent it from destroying me.
3 Important Lessons to Learn from Failures
Here are the most important lessons that failure has taught me and how to deal with each of them:
1. Failure dates back to childhood
The roots of failure are often traced back to childhood. When I was around nine or ten years old, I was an overweight child, which caused me a great deal of embarrassment and made me unable to participate in PE classes.
Later, I applied to several universities and didn't receive acceptance from any of them. I still keep those rejection letters as memories. Although I eventually managed to enroll in the university I wanted, graduated without delay, and started a career I love, I couldn't shake the feeling of failure.
2. Failure is inescapable
You won't believe the number of times I've failed. Among the most significant ones are my low grades in math, my failure to secure more than one job opportunity after graduation, and later on, my inability to change my workplace.
In addition to that, I went through a divorce before turning thirty, and even during my years of marriage, I couldn't maintain my friendships. This was just a brief glimpse of what I've been through.
3. Failure is the best teacher
My failures turned out to be my most valuable teacher and the greatest driving force towards success. The same bank that rejected my job application in my mid-twenties later offered the most substantial employment offer to me.
The pivotal change occurred because I undertook a rigorous self-assessment, identified the factors that had led to my failures, and actively worked on addressing and improving them.
When I turned 31, I got married again, and now, after seven years of marriage and having two children, I still feel happy. This is because I learned from my mistakes and understood the reasons that led to the failure of my marriage.
Misconceptions
Making mistakes doesn't equate to failure; it's a necessary and fundamental stage for achieving any success. Often, I feel frustrated and defeated to the point where I can't get out of bed, but I try to overcome those moments by remembering what the famous basketball player Michael Jordan once said: “Throughout my career, I've missed more than 9,000 shots, lost almost 300 games, and missed the game-winning shot 26 times. I've failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I have been successful.”
The real failure is avoiding the challenges of life, failing to seize available opportunities, giving up on your dreams, and settling for a life that is not what you had envisioned.
How can you avoid failure?
1. Take Responsibility
You are the only one responsible for your life, and you have the power to control it. Learn to prioritize yourself and work toward things that make you happy.
2. Put Your Plans to Action Right Away
When you set your goals, start working toward them. You may encounter failures along the way, but it's important not to fall into despair. Instead, rise again and continue your journey towards your goals. Time is always available for a fresh start, and tough times are temporary.
3. Courage and Ambition
Don't limit your capabilities and ambitions by assuming that certain goals are impossible to achieve because no one has done them before. You can be the trailblazer and do the impossible to reach a goal that no one has attained. The higher your ambition, the less competition you'll face.
How to Deal with Failure?
You will go through tough times where you may feel like a failure and doubt yourself and the significance of your goals. Here are some pointers to help you get through these periods:
1. Gratitude
You should feel grateful for the achievements you've made and the stage you've reached. This mindset has helped me feel significantly better during challenging times when I felt like a failure by recalling the past accomplishments I've succeeded in.
2. Helping Others
One of the methods that has brought me a great sense of self-improvement when facing problems or losses is helping others. Even simple acts like inviting colleagues for lunch, listening to their problems, and assisting them in finding solutions can make a big difference.
3. Self-Compassion
Sometimes, we are too hard on ourselves, and one way to reduce life's pressures is through self-compassion. Look at yourself in the mirror, place your hands on your chest, and say to yourself, "I love myself, and I feel sorry for what I'm going through right now."
If this is difficult for you, consider taking a rest, as sometimes all your body and mind need is some relaxation.
4. Family Bonding
In life, there are a few people who genuinely love you for who you are, regardless of your success or failure, simply because your presence in their lives is what matters most to them. For this reason, they deserve to be reminded of their importance in your life.
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