It can be a bit embarrassing to be the quiet person in a group of people, as people often assume that something is wrong with you, or that you are upset, or that you are judgmental while you sit in silence.
But you know that you are reserved because you enjoy listening to others when they are having a conversation and you prefer to only intervene when it is useful or necessary. Just because you are reserved does not mean that you never speak. What happens is that you are doing more self-talk to yourself than to others.
Reserved people are often introverted and tend to have a calm and dignified style of interaction. In this article, we will talk about the personality traits of reserved people along with some of the best ways to achieve success in life with this type of personality.
Reserved personality traits:
Reserved people share certain personality traits, which are generally:
- Calmness and poise.
- Self-taught.
- The tendency to be silent.
- Discipline.
- The tendency to think and deduce.
- Caution.
- Balance.
- Self-sufficiency.
- Emotional stability.
Although reserved people are not necessarily shy, they generally prefer to remain silent and quiet unless a subject arouses their interest. They tend to think deeply and prefer listening to people more than talking. They also prefer deep conversations with one or two close people more than discussions that take place with a big group of people.
What does it mean to be a reserved person?
It is not wrong to be reserved at all. Although others may see you as shy or someone who avoids social relations, the reserved person has qualities that help them and the people around them, including, for example:
- Their ability to control their feelings and therefore cannot be provoked easily.
- When their emotions run high, reserved people stay calm, maintain a balanced demeanor, and form their opinions silently without saying anything.
- They can process their thoughts and feelings in a manner that maintains their privacy without upsetting or disturbing others.
Reserved people may seem unemotional, but this does not mean that they are unhappy or uncomfortable. Because they often keep their opinions to themselves, they rarely bother others or make them feel bad. Instead of expressing their opinions and upsetting others, they reflect on and process the information they hear for a while until it is time to speak up if they feel necessary.
Why does a person become reserved?
There are several possible reasons why you may be a reserved person, and none of these reasons is necessarily negative. Reticence may be part of your introverted nature. However, an extrovert may be reserved in certain situations.
The reason may be that being reserved makes you feel happy and satisfied. Perhaps you are the type who does not feel the need to conform to the opinions and desires of others, or you do not find that you have to inform everyone about your thoughts or feelings, and you choose what you want to talk about with others. Perhaps you are reserved because you don't want to complicate things in your life.
In general, reticence often refers to a high degree of self-awareness with reduced opportunities to allow others to judge you. Sometimes, it is your personal independence that allows you to make decisions without the need to consult the opinions of others.
Whatever the reason behind you being reserved, whether you admire this trait in your personality or seek to change it, it remains necessary to learn how to achieve success in life while remaining reserved.
Here are some tips to improve your life as a reserved person:
1. Accept your reserved nature:
Accept your natural features and do not try to fake in order to please others. You may notice that there is a difference between you and the people around you in terms of personal characteristics, so you may try to change your characteristics to fit in with them. Your efforts to change your characteristics may lead to success in the short term, but it will cause you fatigue and a feeling of insecurity later.
Showing a personality that is different from your natural personality will cause you stress and unhappiness. However, if you adopt your reserved behavior as part of your authentic personality, you will be able to develop yourself and enjoy the success and opportunities that appear in your life.
When you accept who you are and stop feeling ashamed of being reserved, you will be able to focus more on your work and the important relationships in your life rather than wasting your energy trying to be different from your natural self.
2. Accept that the methods others use to motivate you may not work:
Some people find that they need to listen to a motivational coach or read a self-help book in order to understand themselves better. But because you are a reserved person, you are already aware of your feelings. So, you do not need these methods to increase your self-awareness, but you may need some help learning to deal with people who are different from you in terms of what excites them.
The reason is that reserved people often cannot be motivated by traditional measures of success, and to find what excites you, you must know what motivates and inspires you.
3. Find out what is holding you back from achieving success:
In general, it is difficult for anyone to get out of their comfort zone, and it becomes even more difficult for a reserved person. This obstacle may prevent you from achieving your personal and professional goals, and because external conditions affect reserved people more than others, getting out of your comfort zone may be a challenge that enables you to identify the weaknesses in your personality.
Being a reserved person, it is undoubtedly simpler for you to sidestep this problem than to confront it head-on. But identifying what is preventing you from succeeding as a reserved person is the most crucial step on the road to success, regardless of whether this barrier manifests as a lack of desire to try hard, a fear of failure, rejection, or something else.
4. Don't compare yourself to others:
Although reserved people are often disciplined and focused on their goals, they may not have the competitive traits of highly ambitious people. Therefore, you may see a high-performing person at work and compare yourself to them, and this in turn leads to your feeling that you are a failure. So, instead of comparing your success to the successes of others, compare your current personality to your past personality. This way of measuring progress helps you stay focused on your personal and professional accomplishments.
5. Try to make friends with reserved people:
To avoid negative comparisons, surround yourself with people who are reserved like yourself or people who understand and appreciate your personality. Being around people with similar personalities helps you stop seeing others as your competitors and instead see the people around you as supportive with goals similar to yours.
It may take some time to find a group of people like you, but you will instantly recognize them when you meet them.
6. Choose a job that matches your personality:
Reserved people tend to do their favorite work alone and do not like to be interrupted while they are concentrating on their work that may last for a long time. Therefore, choose your profession according to your reserved personality traits and try to avoid jobs that require frequent travel or that involve doing group projects more often or the kind of job that requires a lot of meetings.
Therefore, companies that allow their employees to work from home are an excellent option for people who are reserved, or perhaps you may enjoy the hybrid work style that combines work in the office and work from home more.
7. Express your thoughts and feelings in writing:
If you are reserved, you are likely to feel more comfortable expressing yourself through creative writing than through speaking. Reserved people like to reflect on an issue before sharing their thoughts with others.
You can take advantage of this feature by writing down your thoughts and ideas before business meetings and during the meeting. Bring your written notes with you or make sure you remember all the key points you want to make.
8. Focus on your strengths and invest in them:
Recognizing and utilizing your strengths will always be beneficial in challenging situations where you are forced to be around a lot of talkative people and you are the only reserved person there. Because you are reserved, for instance, you can take in information quickly, observe how the flow of a conversation changes, and pick up on important details that others might overlook.
When you meet with colleagues, mention things you've noticed in the emails you've shared with them so they can see your unique perspective on things.
9. Say what's on your mind when the time is right:
Don't be afraid to speak up when you have something significant to say, but also share your original thoughts in professional settings or when a potential issue comes to mind. In other words, when you have something significant to say, you shouldn't keep it to yourself; instead, you should say it.
Since you don't talk rashly, people will be interested in what you have to say after you start speaking. You might be surprised by the listeners' response, which can be very positive.
10. Try to cultivate the important relationships in your life:
Instead of talking a little with a lot of people, replace this habit with communication directed towards specific people you feel a kind of attraction to talk to. You do not have to know everyone, but it is necessary and useful to develop strong and meaningful relationships with a few people whose presence is essential in your personal and professional life. These people are able to help you achieve your goals.
11. Maintain a positive attitude about yourself:
Do not view your reserved personality as a defect. Instead of feeling ashamed of your personality, acknowledge the things you find difficult to accomplish and adopt a growth mindset, because it helps you overcome obstacles and learn from mistakes.
People with a growth mindset have greater chances of achieving success than people without this mindset, and the reason is that the first type is constantly trying to develop themselves and improve the ways in which they accomplish tasks.
12. Boost your awareness:
Develop your awareness and knowledge of when and in what circumstances it is appropriate to act according to your natural personality traits and when to modify your behavior. For example, it may be more helpful to talk about a matter you have been thinking about for a while than to continue to think about it on your own. You may have a manager who likes their team members to share ideas and express themselves through business meetings.
So, learn how to correct your tendency to negatively overthink the expected results of an action, and shift your focus instead to the possible positive results that may result from doing this act.
13. Identify what is hindering your success and address it:
If you are worried that you may not be able to achieve professional success, perhaps the reason is the burden resulting from your desire to improve your performance, or the increase in social burdens and the things that need to be done with the time you have. So, if you feel that anxiety is holding you back from progress, you should think about ways through which you can address these issues.
Don't let anxiety reflect negatively on your potential and limit your future success as long as you know you have a lot of potential.
14. Achieve success through prestige:
There are two ways to achieve success in life. The first is through achieving prestige, which means exchanging experiences and information on how to earn respect. The second method is dominance, which means obtaining respect by imposing it on others by force.
According to research, gaining respect through force only works in the short term because rivals are constantly vying for your position; however, gaining respect through prestige will have a lasting impact. This means that you don't need to have an assertive or charismatic personality to succeed; instead, capitalize on your natural reserve and let people see what you have to offer.
15. Be flexible:
Being flexibile does not mean that you pretend to be a character other than your real personality, but it only means learning flexibility. This requires that you try to show other aspects of your personality to other people and thus improve communication skills with them. So, try to attract the interest of others by talking to them about things that you know are important to them, monitor their responses, and adjust your speech and tone to fit the situation.
7 tips for dealing with a reserved personality:
If you have always dealt with a reserved person, whether in personal life or at work, it will be useful to get to know them well. Here are some tips for dealing with reserved people:
- Don't assume they don't have opinions or feelings just because they don't say it. Ask them to share their thoughts.
- Give them time to think carefully about what they would say if they wanted to because you will get more lively responses from them.
- Do not interpret their reserved nature as disliking you or not wanting to spend time with you.
- Realise how strong they are psychologically and mentally in difficult times because they are people who are able to keep their calm.
- Go beyond superficial talk and try to connect with them through a deep and meaningful discussion.
- Avoid intruding on their privacy unless they allow you to.
- Remember that they are self-sufficient and rarely need advice or counsel.
Reserved people can be dedicated, reliable, thoughtful friends, partners, managers, and employees. You have to give them enough time to get to know them, and then you'll discover interesting sides in their personality.
Are you a reserved person?
Being a reserved person should not hinder you from achieving success in your professional and personal life. Invest your strengths and remember that many famous success stories were achieved by people who tend to be reserved. Do not forget to apply the advice we mentioned above and you will see that you can achieve success through your reserved personality.
Add comment