Humans are one of the most social organisms on the planet. We not only desire social relationships,but in fact we demand them for the sake of our physical and mental health, which is why the fear of you ending up alone is one of the most common concerns, especially as it applies to emotional relationships as well.
The worry of ending up alone is so common in our society that it has a name, Monophobia. Like any other fear or phobia, self-phobia can be overcome by gaining a deep understanding of the root of this fear and taking tremendous action to change it.
What causes fear of loneliness?
There are three common reasons for fear of loneliness, which are your past, your self-esteem, and social adaptation, for example a previous abandonment incident; That is, if the person you longed to love when you were a child abandoned you or walked away from you and was indifferent, this is a great reason for this fear for most adults, so you can associate loneliness with being abandoned and disliked.
Most people also suffer from a lack of self-love which dates back to the restrictive beliefs that arose when they were children or adolescents, so they are uncomfortable being alone because they do not want to spend time with themselves, and deep down they may not love their person, or they may have a permanent need for motivation to avoid their thoughts and feelings.
The last reason is social adaptation. The concern that you will end up alone is common in our culture. We grew up with the idea of "twin Spirit " (Soulmate); That is, the person who will complete our lives and make us complete,whereas what must occupy our thinking is that we become perfect on our own. The soulmate is just an addition to an already complete life.
The impact of fear of loneliness in relationships:
Worrying about ending up alone can help ensure that you actually end up alone, which is the result you don't want, and this is because of the Law of Attraction, so all you focus on is getting it. If the fear of being alone is in control of you, this negative energy will extend to your relationships, and it is possible to put yourself in a relationship even if it is not healthy, and it will also put great pressure on your partner. Also, when you bring this energy to relationships, often it won't end well.
The truth is that when you overcome your fear of being alone forever , you can fully develop your personality; in this way you will bring purpose, passion, and personality to your relationships rather than fear; this in turn will increase your appeal to others, and the law of intellectual attraction will work as well.
7 Ways to overcome the fear of ending up alone:
With social pressures and a human desire for a companion, overcoming the fear of being alone forever is not always easy, so follow these seven basic principles to help you eliminate this fear forever:
1. Focus on yourself:
The hard truth is you can't control when or whether you meet the right person for you, so stop spending all your time on dating apps or worrying about ending up alone, and focus on what you can control; i.e. focus on yourself instead of looking for the perfect person. Be the person you need to naturally attract this ideal person.
2. Understand your fear:
Fear of loneliness makes you as lonely as any other fear, so you should look inside yourself first. Self-hatred often stems from our restricted beliefs; That is, the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. Most people who suffer from this fear have restricted beliefs that they are not “perfect,” unworthy of love, or can never be happy without a partner.
3. Confirm your plans:
We all have plans for our lives; That is, how do we think our lives should be at a certain point when we do not achieve these achievements. This becomes a major source of pain in our lives, but what if your plans are wrong? What if they are based on your restrictive beliefs and on the society's expectations? Take some time to determine what you really want, as you might be surprised.
4. Meeting your basic needs:
The fear of being alone is often a reflection of our six human needs; That is, the six things we all need to live a satisfying life. If your most important needs are love, communication, or prestige, this contributes to your urgent need for partnership. Once you know your needs, you can know how to meet them regardless of your emotional state.
5. Abandonment of the Past:
The fear that you will end up alone stems from past experiences. For example, if someone abandoned you when you were a child, and you had difficult separation experiences and unsatisfactory relationships to overcome this fear, you should stop living in the past. the American author Tony Robbins says: "Your past is not your future, unless you live in it"; so shift your focus to the present, learn how to value what you have, and you will notice a major shift in your mindset.
6. Expanding your social circle:
Surrounding yourself with good people is always a good way to get what you want, whether it's a high-profile career, a successful small business, or a healthy relationship. When you focus on friendships, activities, and producers, you create a very strong network of social support, and you won't worry about ending up alone.
7. Raise your standards:
It may seem contradictory, but studies have confirmed that the fear of being alone actually predicts the acceptance of as few emotional relationships as possible. Humans are programmed to avoid pain, and seek pleasure, and if loneliness causes us anxiety and fear, we will avoid this pain by searching for certainty of a stable, but unsatisfactory relationship. So, pay attention not to fall into this trap, and learn how to raise your standards and stop accepting anything.
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