My colleague described success as climbing on small trees. He says, "The most important virtue of success is courage." Top performers take chances; They devise strategies for confronting rejection and accepting that failure is a necessary stopping point on the path to success. Over the years, I have developed ways to help me face my fears and develop courage where I thought they didn't exist. Here are 5 habits that have helped me handle rejection tactfully:
1. Consider dismissal as a motivating factor:
Think for a moment about successful entrepreneurs, thought leaders, and their accomplishments. I guarantee they all made their mark in the face of significant opposition, and once you realize that, you can do that too.
- The author c. K. K. Rowling wrote it dozens of times before a small London publishing house accepted the Harry Potter series, all because her 8-year-old daughter insisted that Rowling continue to provide her writing.
- "We don't like your voices, and the guitar playing is bad," Decca Records told the Beatles.
Courage is the virtue by which people overcome rejection and grow stronger. No one will survive pain, suffering, and failure, but from pain comes courage, and from courage comes strength and success.
2. Take massive actions:
The late South African President Nelson Mandela said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the victory over it, and the brave person is not one who does not feel fear, but who conquers that fear.”
- The call you fear to make is the call you must make.
- The question you are afraid to ask is the question you should ask.
- The conversation you're afraid to have, you must have.
For now, make a list of the 10 people you're afraid to contact or are too embarrassed to get. This is the easy part. The hardest, but most satisfying, part is next. So pick up the phone or knock on their door, connect with these people, and find what you want.
3. Face your fear:
We all have fears and I'm no exception, but when I recognize my fears and ask myself what's the worst that could happen? I feel less afraid. The worst that can happen is that I may feel embarrassed or unworthy and that's not as bad as not pursuing what I want. The best thing you can do when you're afraid is to take a risk and be bold and tell a friend or a blindfolded one exactly what your biggest fear is. Here are my biggest fears:
- I wouldn't be as good as a certain person.
- I don't know what to do.
- I won't have anything new to say.
- I am not an important person.
- People will laugh at me.
- My life is meaningless.
It was hard, but I feel better now, and you'll feel better if you try. So, take a moment and write down your biggest fear, then what's the worst that could happen?
4. Understand the reason for rejection:
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, victory over it. When you increase your efficiency, your courage increases. You will be rejected at every stage of the work:
- Research: CEOs, lenders, or potential candidates don't answer your calls, no one answers your emails, and people who promised to answer you don't get in touch.
- During the negotiation: You notice that your negotiator has crossed arms, prefers to be on their phones than listen to you, and suddenly wants to leave for an urgent meeting.
- Objections: They read you a long list of mistakes and why your competitor is better than you, that your product is overpriced, and that your client service is poor.
Here are some useful tactics you can employ when you get rejected:
1. Listen carefully and then answer:
Don't be defensive, let the other person finish their thoughts, and ask yourself now is what they said true? Many of the objections are valid, the other party just needs more information and some test you to see if you will answer their concerns honestly.
2. Respond to the question with a question:
Listen carefully and identify the reasons for rejection by asking about them. This is a very effective way to reduce ambiguity, and remember that questions are often persuasive objections.
3. Know when you should get rid of their rejection:
They ask question after question, show concern after worry, and it feels like an endless sea of rejection, so don't give up. Instead, ask a question that isolates their fears and listen carefully to the response.
5. Use fun:
When it comes to negotiating, hiring, or promoting, "no" does not mean no. It takes perseverance and courage to get what you want. When you hear the word "no", scam to make a sale, get the deal, or beat your competitors.
Ordinary entrepreneurs say things like "I left a message and didn't call back, or I emailed but didn't get an answer, they're not interested in my offer."
These days people are busier than ever because of the abundance of information. If their first response is no, it may not be because they are not interested, but it's just that your priority is only theirs once you make it so.
And the last thing you want to do is continually attract someone the same way with the same message. So, try something innovative. For example, I secured one of my biggest contracts to date by sending a pizza and a poem to a busy executive who didn't answer my calls. His assistant repeatedly told me "He's in a meeting."
I thought this poor man was always in a meeting and might not go out for walks, lunch, or exercise, and I'm not sure he even eats. So, I asked his assistant, "Did he eat lunch?" “No,” she said, “What’s the best pizzeria?” And she said, “Pauli’s down the street,” I replied, “Great! I'll buy a pizza and send it to the office, and I'll order enough for everyone, and I'll fax you a poem, would you mind attaching it to the pizza box before you serve him pizza?" I laughed and did as I asked.
Then I received a call in less than 90 minutes and the outcome was rather important. Courage isn't something that happens to you. You create it through your actions, and courage must be exercised. If you wait until the fear has passed to take action, inspiration may never come.
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