Tips to Balance Your Thoughts, Feelings, and Behavior

Life is not a walk in the park but rather a confusing maze. Yet, three functions define us—ones we must be mindful of to live our best, happiest lives, even when the going gets tough.

Taking on these three functions is a game-changer for boosting efficiency. However, let me tell you, they are more complicated than they seem.

Tips to Balance Your Thoughts, Feelings, and Behavior

Three standout functions in life can help you strike that balance:

1. Thought

Living your best life demands wise management of your thoughts. Regardless of their origins—and let's avoid discussing psychological or biological factors—it's imperative to acknowledge that you are both the master and the slave of your thoughts. Regardless of your wisdom and experience, there will always be negative ones to deal with and positive ones to hold onto, nurture, and take advantage of.

2. Feelings

Feelings might seem like reactions to external forces; however, they are often generated from our thoughts. When we effectively channel these feelings, our emotional powerhouses, we boost our self-respect, confidence, and overall zest for life. Indeed, feelings—even negative, hurtful ones—have a lot of potential energy that is just waiting to be released.

However, feelings ebb and flow, so permit yourself to feel them all, decipher their messages, and whether positive or negative, don't push against them; experience them fully and give them space to pass to benefit from their energy.

3. Behavior

Ultimately, our quality of life hinges on our behavior. Shockingly, our behavior stems from awareness, shaped by our thoughts and how we handle and adapt to our feelings triggered by external events. It all boils down to our internal sense of security, influenced by factors beyond our control like biological functions, external events, and—most importantly—early experiences, like childhood, for instance. Nevertheless, we can change the nature of our current experiences.

All this might sound very obvious, but as you strive for balance, remember that conflict between these functions often breeds discomfort and hinders deeper self-awareness and optimal use of the third function.

You probably know someone who fits the description of "conflicted." More often than not, it's due to a clash between two or more of these functions or what psychologists call the "Oedipus complex," where a child competes with or causes conflict between parents, or one parent unconsciously or consciously sides with the child against the other. Or when a difficult child emotionally manipulates one parent to feel more important than the other.

Say that you're feeling like you're hitting a brick wall, unable to act or behave in a way that satisfies you, like making more money. You'll find yourself at odds between your thoughts and feelings, and you'll feel compelled to work hard to break through this complex situation and take appropriate action, or you might become excessively lazy. On the other hand, this can result in relentless effort or obsessive-compulsive behaviors such as hoarding.

When your thoughts clash with your actions, leaving nothing but an intense desire in your feelings, the temptation to stick to a certain behavior, like doing nothing and becoming a machine instead of a human, becomes hard to resist. Think of it like planning to execute your latest plan while juggling many tasks without completing any. Herein lies the danger of addiction.

When your feelings clash with your actions, their intensity pushes you to act ineffectively or frantically, impairing your rational thoughts. Similarly, your undisciplined, irrational behavior sends you into a vortex of emotions, completing the cycle (behavioral disorder, feeling incapable of thought, negative emotions). No wonder people in this state are often said to have lost their marbles.

The Relationship between the Three Functions

To fully understand these three functions, you must figure out which ones resonate with your personality and which ones you've inherited from your parents or any influential figures that need shedding. However, I can assure you that it's difficult because of the complex interplay between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

An Illustration of Non-Human Functions (Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors)

Your parents pass away or abandon you, and suddenly, you're convinced the world is a pack of liars who are ready to dump you at any moment. So, you're stuck in a trust slump, fearing betrayal around every corner. Consequently, you start cutting ties with friends before you get hurt, even if they are the epitome of love and logic. Still, there's this nagging feeling that something's missing in your bond, so you're itching to end it because you feel like they're imposing themselves on you.

Next, you're losing yourself, yet you don't want to take the blame. So, you rearrange the chess pieces to give the impression that your friend is the one who abandoned you. Of course, you've already predicted this plot twist.

You're merely background noise in other people's lives, and nobody really likes you. You feel like everyone's strong and almighty while you're the only weak, dense person in the corner. Yet, you keep seeking out these people and gravitating toward those older or younger than you, and so on.

But here's the thing: these thoughts, feelings, and behaviors you mistakenly think define you are actually loops and echoes from your past trying to settle unfinished business.

You'll build unfounded beliefs unless you're actively trying to decode these thinking patterns and feelings. You'll feel that it's impossible to become the person you've always wanted to be—one who enjoys inner peace and makes effective personal and professional decisions, along with your interests (though those tend to get overlooked).

Now, Flip the Script

You're dealing with a mix of daily highs and lows and meeting positive and negative people. Every day, you're making moves that either lift you up or drag you down (through your behavior), all the while being aware of the thoughts swirling in your mind—criticism, self-judgment, unforgiveness, passion, greed, arrogance, inferiority, past trauma, loss and uncontrollable situations—every little frustration adding weight to your shoulders. You're aware of the rage, the sorrow, and the heartache, and you're letting those thoughts evaporate.

You're watching closely, observing your thoughts and choosing only what boosts your morale and confidence nonstop. This cycle builds inner peace, which is important for a good life.

You're experiencing the full spectrum of emotions that affect your mind and body. Sometimes, it's deep sadness; other times, it's sheer panic. Yet, you might feel peace for a long time. Nevertheless, remember that feelings come and go, regardless of your thoughts or outside circumstances. So, embrace them all, good and bad; they will pass.

Remember that your actions reflect your identity. Your decisions shape your behavior, regardless of what others or your inner critic say and feel. Stay committed to taking effective action and doing what you do best for your benefit and others' as much as possible. And when you or others mess up, you'll be able to forgive and reset, while knowing that mistakes are stepping stones to a better and more authentic version of yourself.

In a Nutshell

It takes a lot of mental balance to live the good life. We're all walking contradictions by nature, molded by life's shocks and agonizing turns. However, being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behavior is the key to feeling secure and living your best life.