How to Trust Yourself and Unleash Your Potential? (Part 1)

4 أغسطس 2024

Robert Tew once said, “If you have to trust someone, trust yourself.”

Note: This article is based on blogger Vanessa Van Edwards, in which she talks about her personal experience in boosting self-confidence.

His precious quote is worth committing to in your life if you wish to achieve your dreams and highest potential. Most people lack self-confidence and constantly blame themselves for not doing enough, so in this article, I'll show you how to trust yourself, build trust in the workplace, and take care of your relationships.

Who is a sensitive, hard working person?

They are compassionate and high-achieving. They are motivated, care about their work, persevere to achieve success, and think and feel everything that happens more deeply. According to a study by Stony Brook University, 20% of people may be the sensitive, and they are diligent type by nature.

To find out if you're a sensitive, hard working person, here are 10 sentences to determine whether or not they apply to you:

I experience emotions at a high level of depth and complexity.
I strongly desire to exceed expectations in every aspect of my life, even the ones I don't care about.
I consider myself a motivated person and enjoy motivating myself to achieve goals.
I'm obsessed with targets.
I'm addicted to achieving goals.
Goals are a hobby.
I look forward to the meaning and accomplishment all the time.
I need to think about decisions before I act.
I have an inner critic who doesn't stop working.
I am a kind, compassionate, and passionate person.

Traits of sensitive, hard-working people:

A high degree of mental alertness. You can often spot patterns or problems in the workplace and prevent costly problems.
Creativity - you can see opportunities and take advantage of them.
The ability to see the problem. A sensitive, hard working person is great at making lists of positive and negative things and can think about issues step by step, and this type of person does not act directly but thinks beforehand.

Why can't I trust myself?

Some years ago, I wondered about my restless nature. After rigorous self-reflection and many moments of misery and self-pity, I realized that it could be challenging to avoid acquiring negative emotions when the opinions and demands of others surround you.

What exactly is self-confidence?

People who trust themselves remain true to their values and beliefs no matter their situation, and they know that they can overcome obstacles and difficulties. Also, when life puts them in difficult situations, they refuse to give up and lose hope.

Science says that self-confidence paves the way for personal independence and self-esteem and to be:

Aware of your thoughts and emotions.
You have the courage to stick to your core values and ignore peer pressure.
Expressing yourself honestly, which means rejecting the things you don't want to do.
Know when to prioritize your health over anything.
Confidence that when life puts you in difficult situations, you can face them.
Pursue your dreams without letting others get in your way.

If you don't trust yourself:

You will be reluctant to prioritize your needs and safety.
You will have difficulty treating yourself with unconditional love and compassion.
You will always listen to the annoying voices in your head.

Where does self-doubt begin?

Not all of us are born skeptical; most of us trust our abilities until life throws obstacles in our way, and here are some examples of how we lose our self-confidence:

If you grow up knowing that your parents will save you every time you need help or have a problem, you may find it challenging to cope with responsibilities and trust in your abilities as an adult.
If you belong to a middle-class family that always thinks they're the victim - your parents tell you how success is tied to the rich - you won't have the courage to dream big and achieve great things in life.
If you're constantly punished for talking and expressing your feelings and needs as a child, you may endure that fear, guilt, and shame when you become an adult.

If you can understand what you're going through, it's time to regain control of your life and learn to trust yourself.

How to Trust Yourself Again?

Here are Some Simple but Effective Things You Need to Do:

We all have dreams, goals, and desires in life, but not everyone succeeds in achieving them. The difficulty lies in linking what you want with how to reach it. You must develop positive behavior that motivates you to work, adhere to your principles, support yourself, and not worry about what others think. People will learn to trust and appreciate you when they notice your strength and confidence.

Self-confidence is the answer to achieving your goals and living a life full of passion, purpose, and happiness, so prepare to dive into a world without room for self-doubt, insecurity, and instability.

9 strategies to get rid of low self-confidence:

First: Solving psychological problems related to the time we spent in school

If you were only satisfied with an excellent grade on your exams when you were a child in school, you might have a condition called “honor roll hangover,” which consists of 3 parts:

Idealism is being very self-critical, having high standards, and thinking that nothing you do is good enough.
Satisfying people; that is, accepting people's requests a lot and finding it difficult to refuse, and you change your mind if someone else disagrees with you or a disagreement occurs.
Overworking: You take on a responsibility that isn't your own, such as solving other people's problems or trying to control someone's reaction to something that concerns you.

You will lose your self-confidence very quickly because this is a goal that is not achieved, as:

There's no limit to what you can do to make something “better”.
You can't please everyone.
There is no limit to the responsibilities you can take on.

The realization of these three steps is a great liberation, and then we must work to get rid of them through the following strategies:

Controlling the quest for perfection.
Stop pleasing people.
Set goals you can achieve.

Second: Avoiding the fear of missing the opportunity

Do you feel unwilling to say “no” to something because it might be a big opportunity for you? You may think that saying “no” to your boss may lead to you not getting the promotion you seek; this is called “fear of missing opportunity” (FOMO), and it can be a devastating failure, mainly as it drives us to do more.

What you need to do to get rid of this is always to ask yourself:

“Do I want to do this if I have to do it tomorrow?”
“Do I want to work overtime tomorrow ?”
“Do I want to go to a silly event tomorrow?”

Asking yourself these critical questions helps determine the scope of what you really want to do.

Third: listen to your intuition

Your intuition is like a muscle, and those who lack self-confidence have long neglected their intuition, but your intuition isn't just a voice in your head, but it's made up of several different sounds:

A critical voice that always devalues your efforts.
The stubborn voice that won't let you miss the chance.
The hesitant voice is afraid to face the challenge.

So, to regain your intuition and find and listen to the right voice, you have to listen to all the voices, and when a particular voice wants to control, you will be able to identify it precisely. So, learn to accept and recognize your inner voices, and you will learn to trust your intuition instead of ignoring those voices.

Fourth: The 10-10-10 Rule

When you find yourself overthinking a situation or feeling afraid to take a risk, ask yourself if it's essential to:

10 weeks.
Or 10 months.
Or 10 years from now.

When you realize that a nasty comment you receive on your blog, or a mistake you make in a presentation, won't matter within that period, you'll realize that this is just a form of overthinking.

Fifth: Communicating with the self

I know you don't have a lot of free time and have many things to do, but can you take a moment and breathe for a while?

Let's look at how we use our time and how busy we are. According to a US Bureau of Labor Statistics time-use survey, the top three things we use our time for are sleep/personal care, well-being, and work.

In addition, only 48% of Americans say they have enough time in the day, according to a Gallup poll.

Every day, we feel like robots trying to achieve as many tasks as possible on our to-do lists until we are out of sync with our hearts and minds. If you want to know how to trust yourself, take a break from this noisy state and discover your inner purpose, knowledge, and happiness.

Every morning when you wake up, find a nice cozy corner and sit in it for a while. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, allow your mind and soul to be clouded by the stillness that surrounds you at that moment, focus on that calm state, feel the rhythm of your heart, and delve deeper into the reality of who you are.

Sixth: Writing letters of appreciation

I advise you to list your positive qualities without mentioning the negatives. According to a study of 275,000 people, being positive leads to a better and happier life overall, so ignore the negatives at the moment and be positive.

Make a list of the things you love about yourself, such as:

"I love my hair."
“I love my voice when I sing.”
“I'm glad I have a bed to sleep in.”

Get rid of any idea reminds you of your weaknesses, flaws, or failures.

It's time to focus on all your positive qualities. When you feel down or questioning your abilities, read the things on your list out loud.

Seventh: Using the trust model

Do you find it challenging to be honest with yourself? If you ignore essential information about yourself and find it easy to lie to yourself, I'm afraid you have the lowest level of self-confidence, and this is where the confidence model comes in.

It works in a fantastic way to build self-confidence, help boost your self-esteem, and improve your communication skills, preparing you to face the world with optimism and happiness.

So, how can you take advantage of the trust model? Here 's what the trust model stands for and how you can put it into practice:

1. Transparency:

This step is limited to openness, no more pretending to be someone else, no more moving away from your true self, and no more hiding from sight by:

Discovering how and why you want to portray yourself this way. For example, if you are a teacher and force yourself to act happily, is it because you want to bring happiness to children or because your job depends on joy?
Sharing information instead of keeping it to yourself can be difficult if you tend to suppress things. However, a Harvard study found that suppressing your feelings can increase the likelihood of early death by 30%.
Focusing on getting rid of fears rather than reinforcing them. You cannot eliminate your worries ultimately, but you must challenge them to overcome them. For example, you can jump from a plane, learn to swim, or climb on stage and speak in front of an audience even if your legs tremble with fear. Build that confidence yourself, and your worries will seem smaller over time.

2. Respect:

You should stop talking badly about yourself or thinking you're not good enough by:

Reinforcing positive thoughts in your mind, and we've already talked about this before, so stick with positive thoughts. Reviewing your positive thoughts every time you wake up and before you sleep is helpful.
Getting rid of pessimism. Do you have a pessimistic mind? You have to see the world as a good place. Many toxic people probably surround you; the sooner you move away from them, the better your world and self-confidence will be.
Avoiding using hurtful verbs and words. Avoid talking to yourself incorrectly. Studies show that self-injury leaves a negative impression on you, so do positive actions that promote respect, such as exercising regularly and eating healthy.

3. Understand:

This part is about being more objective and getting to know yourself well.

If you like to argue or do not have a high level of acceptance in your personality, you may have a sharp temper, so do not assume and always try to search for the truth. Otherwise, you will not be able to trust your emotional management.
Try to understand yourself; really get to know yourself, what do you love and do, and where your place in this world is.

4. Shared Success:

Don't strive for success alone, as self-confidence comes with strong social support:

Collaborate to the best of your ability, and find ways to share and collaborate with other people, such as joining groups that share your hobbies. Those groups don't have to work alone, and if there are toxic people in your work, you have to get rid of them.
Create success for everyone around you, do not be the person who is always trying to outperform others; you can create situations that achieve success for everyone around you by praising others for their efforts and sharing success with them.

5. Test Assumptions:

Ask about your reality and assumptions, and don't make yourself feel trapped and unable to act:

Avoid making things up. Are you someone who's ill of lying? If you lie to others or yourself, take control and tell the truth.
Close the gap between assumptions and reality, observe your thoughts and ask yourself, “Why do I have such thoughts?”

Eighth: Setting smart goals

What is the difference between an ambitious person and an overly ambitious person? This can be the difference between trusting or not trusting yourself:

Instead of making $200,000 a year, try to set a goal of making $75,000 first.
Instead of trying to complete a project in two days, give yourself a week to do it.

You must pursue your goals realistically. Setting ordinary goals has several benefits. If you perform better than you expected, you'll feel accomplished, and you'll be motivated to work harder. On the other hand, when you don't achieve your big goals, you'll feel like a failure, which will ultimately hurt your self-confidence.

If you have a big goal, think about breaking it down into stages; you will gain confidence and learn to trust yourself when you achieve small goals, and the best way to do this is by setting smart goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, and realistic.

Ninth: Speaking with confidence

Imagine your co-worker is behind on their project, and you need them as soon as possible. What would you say in this case?

Excuse me, haven’t you finished the project yet?
Tell me when you can finish this project and hand it over as soon as possible.

How you talk to others determines the respect you will receive. Try to replace uncertain statements with strong statements, such as asking yourself: “In what situations can I use more constructive language, and in which situations can I defend myself?”

In Conclusion:

In this part of the article, we talked about the sensitive, diligent person, how self-confidence is, and where self-doubt begins. Then, we started talking about some of the things you must do to regain your self-confidence, and we mentioned in this part 9 items, and we will continue to speak in the second part of the article about the rest of the things, so follow us.