How to Spot Fake People and How to Deal with Them?

They say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So, think about the people around you for a moment.

You must know whether your opinions are compatible with theirs and confirm whether you aspire to become like them. You must also discover whether they are sincere people who want to see you succeed or fake people who do not want to see you happy.

In this article, we'll stress how crucial it is to surround ourselves with sincere people who genuinely care about us, enrich our lives, and, most importantly, steer clear of everything fake.

How to Spot Fake People?

Spotting fake people becomes easier when you work in a profession that entails helping people for a long time. There are some obvious signs that the person you are addressing is concealing something, acting in a particular way, or having a purpose. They often act this way to achieve a secondary goal, such as receiving sympathy, attention, or even a promotion.

Whatever the case, avoiding their negativity and staying away from them is better. Here are some things you should look for to help you spot fake people:

1. Arrogance

Fake people like to show off and look at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of everything they have achieved and claim to be “the best at what they do.”

Most of these people are not that good in real life, but they act like they are. They are keen to appear better than those around them. You might constantly feel "below" them and become angry at their constant need for attention.

2. Ambiguity in expressing feelings

Have you ever tried to have a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It is almost impossible because they have limited emotional intelligence and do not know how to express their feelings truly from deep within. This is partially because they do not want to reveal their true feelings, regardless of these feelings. It is tough to claim to be the best at what you do while sharing your “normal” feelings with “normal” people.

3. Lack of self-reflection

We must accept feedback from others to grow and be open to our strengths and weaknesses. We must also accept that we are all different and can continually improve.

Self-reflection requires us to reflect, forgive, acknowledge, and learn from our mistakes. To do so, we must embrace a certain level of honesty and depth that fake people do not naturally possess. A fake person generally does not apologize, but when they do, they often follow their apology with a “but.”

4. Unrealistic perceptions

Fake people often have an unrealistic perception of the world. They want to show off and brag in public about certain things, like fake achievements, material gains, or a pretended sense of happiness. A lot of fake people hide shame, pain, and other underlying motivations for their actions, which may help to explain why they are unable to be honest and why they find it difficult to view both the good and bad aspects of their surroundings objectively.

5. Seeking attention

As mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that there is a problem with someone's behavior is how much they love attention. Does someone constantly want to be the center of attention when you speak, so they interrupt you? Is everyone always talking about them, no matter what the subject? If the response is affirmative, you are most likely interacting with a fake person.

6. Trying to please people

Appreciation is nice, but gaining everyone's love is even better. Fake people always seem to agree to everything to win people's unwavering acceptance of them, even though it is entirely unrealistic for most people always to please everyone.

This is problematic for two reasons: firstly, these individuals consent to do things for their gratification; secondly, they often end up changing their mind or backing out of their offer for various reasons, like stating, "I wanted to help you, but my grandmother suddenly became ill," which puts you in a challenging position.

7. Sarcasm

People who put on a fake, sick smile often conceal feelings of resentment, jealousy, or anger because, beneath their façade of a happy life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm is also known to act as a coping strategy and occasionally as a transformational strategy. Fake people will do anything to stay on top of the world, whether promoting themselves or putting people down.

8. Bad friendships

Fake people are bad friends. They don't pay attention to you, your emotions, or any updates you might want to give them. Knowing that conversations with them will always lead to talking about them, you might avoid them when you have good or bad news to share. Furthermore, they won't be available when you need them, or even worse, they might unexpectedly cancel plans.

It's not shocking to learn that fake individuals engage in constant gossip. Let's face it: if they are talking about other people, they may also be talking about you. If your "friend" constantly puts you down, they are not living up to your expectations and are not someone you should be around.

The earlier you learn to spot these fake people, the faster you can meet loyal friends.

How to Deal with Fake People?

It is important to remember that you deserve more than you get. You are worthwhile, precious, and no less important than anyone else.

There are several ways to deal with fake people. Below are some tips on how to deal with them:

1. Set boundaries

Set obvious boundaries between you and them. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries protect you when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, avoid them, keep your communication with them to a minimum, and replace them with more valuable relationships.

2. Don't take their behaviors personally

Unfortunately, fake people likely behaved this way before they knew you and will continue to do so long after you move on. It's not about you; it's about their inner need to confront a void that you are not responsible for. Unless you are a professional coach, you are unlikely to help them in any case 

3. Be open and honest about how you feel

You should tell your "friend" that their actions are hurting you, whether firmly or gently, no matter how you express it. Let them know if they are being mean to you or engaging in behavior you find hard to accept. It's great if it works. Even if it doesn't, you'll still feel better. When you are ready to move on, you will know you have tried to communicate with them and will not feel guilty. 

4. Ask for advice

Seek advice if you need clarification on what you're seeing or experiencing. A close friend, family member, or coworker can provide insight into whether you exaggerate or have legitimate concerns.

You don't want to descend to their level, so don't mistake seeking advice for gossiping or talking behind someone else's back. However, it never hurts to have a little reminder about how to stay on track.

5. Find out more about the motivations behind their actions

You should be careful when following this advice. You may be able to look into the reasons behind a fake person's actions if you are emotionally stable, self-assured that you won't engage in it, and have the necessary abilities to control it.

You must find out if this person has experienced trauma recently, has been rejected repeatedly in their life, or has low self-esteem to the point where they need to feel fulfilled in any way. Understanding a person's behavior can help you deal with them.

6. Practice self-care

The best course of action is probably to keep your distance from fake people. However, sometimes getting there takes time. Therefore, you must remember to take care of yourself and treat yourself kindly.

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to fake people or declining their invitations when you're not ready to confront them.

Detecting fake people is relatively easy, as their claims are obvious. However, there are often reasons for why they act this way. Talking about their behaviors might be the first step towards fixing them. The second step is to offer help. If that doesn't work, it's time to walk away from them and surround yourself with the positivity you deserve.

In Conclusion

Remember that life consists of ups and downs. There are sweet, bitter, and other moments you would not trade for anything. In light of this, look around and carefully consider with whom you share everything.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. So take a good look around you, and choose your company wisely.