The Science of Influencing Others

My friends thought I was crazy. I worked so hard to get the chance to present two newscasts on CBC. More than a million people listened to me each morning to keep up with the world, but the content I was providing was very negative.

Note: This article is based on a blog post by Michelle Gielan, in which she discusses the impact of our mindset on others, and how we can use science to change the people around us.

Then, I realized I had to focus on my work away from any distractions, and I knew what I needed was a change.

I went to the University of Pennsylvania to study positive psychology, and my goal is to understand how positive change can be made in a world full of negativity.

Despite the fact that my research aims to change the media content that is broadcast by media outlets, I have worked together with my husband, Shawn Achor, who also happens to be my positive psychology research colleague, to encourage people to use the same methods we use in the media industry in their personal lives in order to succeed and be happy.

According to our research, exhibiting a positive and resilient mindset to those around you, particularly under trying circumstances, produces favorable outcomes at the professional level. Most importantly, we have found that a person can stay happy by making other people feel good.

The difficulty we usually face when thinking about making others more positive lies in the rooted belief in the collective consciousness of society that it is not possible to change others.

It is enough for one to remember how many times others have told them that it is impossible to change people, even though it may appear to be true in rare cases. However, for the vast majority of people in our lives, this belief continues to be a mere fallacy that is, in the first place, harmful to us. It is not only incapacitating but also unfounded to think that you cannot change others.

Even when we remain silent, we influence the mood and mental attitude of those around us.

A 1981 study that was published in the Nonverbal Behavior journal provides proof that we frequently change the behavior of others. It demonstrates how this happens more quickly and easily than we might think.

The researchers in this study placed three strangers in a room, asking them to stay silent for two minutes to test their mood before and after the experiment.

The results were spectacular. It has been repeatedly demonstrated that a person who has expressed their mood in a more non-verbal manner has influenced the other two people’s moods.

To clarify, when one of the three people crossed his arms, frowning, the other two people felt more negative. In another instance, when that person smiled and looked relieved, the other two people felt more positive.

So even when we remain silent, we influence the mood and mental attitude of those around us. We all experience, at some point in our professional lives, that feeling of negativity and stress hanging over a business meeting. Maybe one of your colleagues presents an idea, and there's someone who hasn't spoken a word, and yet everyone knows what that person thinks of the idea.

Whether we want to or not, it's enough to have a silent and frowning person all the time at the business meeting to change how we feel about a colleague's idea. Although it's surprising to discover the multiplier effect that toxic people have, the influence of optimistic, positive, and supportive people on other people's psyches is also worth looking at.

A Positive Mindset Is Contagious

A positive mindset is contagious, it is the foundation of success.

A positive mindset is contagious, so to speak; it is the foundation of both individual and collective success. It was no surprise to us that changing TV content to be more positive could increase sales by 37%.

As a result, we stated at the outset that the notion that it is impossible to change other people is not only false but also profoundly flawed. One of the core goals of our work is to explain the best means of communication in a rational, real, and convincing way.

It's been an exploratory journey that started while I was covering the news at the worst of the 2008 recession.

The uncertainty and fear people felt due to the economic downturn were obvious. Perhaps that is why my producer thought I was crazy when I suggested broadcasting a week-long series of episodes titled "Happy Week." Instead of constantly focusing on people's losses, like losing their homes and businesses, I have suggested using science-based strategies to deal with the situation.

Every time we highlighted a problem, like selling a property at auction due to debt or the increasing financial burden of marriage, we advised on how to deal with the problem, and we got the highest viewership in 2008.

I received a message from a viewer who lives in Oklahoma and was having a problem with his home mortgage. His brother lived only about 30 kilometers away from him, yet they had not spoken to each other in 20 years.

They were both about to lose their homes, and after watching an episode of "Happy Week," this man decided to do something daring. He contacted his brother, packed their belongings, gathered their money, and paid off the debts on one of the houses; they thus freed him from the possessory mortgage, and they moved in together. So once you change your mindset, you will have the power to positively influence others.

Now we understand how these two men thought and what drove them to achieve this success. In a study published in the Harvard Business Review, we found that a person can increase their ability to solve problems creatively by focusing on the solution rather than the problem.

In this study we conducted with American presenter Arianna Huffington, we found that thinking about solutions to a problem significantly increases the quality of performance.

The first half of the participants were instructed to view three minutes of negative news, while the second half was asked to watch the same amount of unfavorable news but with solutions to the issues being discussed.

Compared to their counterparts who saw the news that featured solutions, the first group was 27% more likely to experience sadness. Therefore, if we want to come up with a solution, we must shift our focus away from the problem and focus more on solutions. This is where the current phase comes into play.

Next time you feel anxious and stressed about a problem, ask yourself what you can do to address it right now. The current step is the simplest, most meaningful action you can take right away. It may not solve the entire problem, but it will put you on the path to finding a solution.

This step also provides you with a framework to help you get the person facing a problem to change from worrying to acting positively. The next time you feel anxious because you are facing a problem, try to think of one thing you can do right now to help you solve it.

The simplest and most important action you can take right now is what you are doing right now. If it doesn't solve the problem entirely, it will put you on the road to finding a solution. It also provides you with a framework to help other people focus on positive actions rather than worrying about the problem.

Imagine that your friend asks to meet you in a coffee shop to get your advice about buying a new car, even though they are broke. It would be pointless to tell them that they should go back to university to get their master's degree and then get a higher-paying job.

Instead, you can try brainstorming some simple actions they can take to be able to buy the car, and then encourage them to choose one of these steps and implement it.

Perhaps the simplest thing you can suggest is to start saving money. Instead of buying a large cup of coffee, recommend they buy a small cup and save $4.

Perhaps a relative has an extra car that they can borrow for a couple of months while they save up the money to buy one. These simple procedures help make the other person positive and motivate them to continue making progress.

As an entrepreneur, or at least someone with a busy to-do list, I assure youmotivated that this strategy helps you move beyond the stress and closer to comfort and requires doing one or two simple things early in the morning to feel the motivated and enthusiastic for the rest of the day.

We found that 91% of people can handle stress better after applying this tip, and the main reason most people fail to deal with stress positively is that they get into a cycle of negative rumination.

We have developed scientifically sound verification criteria in partnership with Plasticity Labs in Ontario to assess the variance in stress responses.

Your reaction to stress reveals your level of job and personal satisfaction, as well as your potential for long-term professional success. We discovered that while the situations that cause us stress always change, our stress reaction does not. We also discovered that the following three factors are crucial in identifying the type of our stress response:

1. Keeping calm under pressure: Some people can remain calm and composed during adversity; thus, their chances of overcoming crises increase greatly, while others quickly become anxious and tense, which causes them stress.
2. Openness to communication: Some people express their feelings to others in a way that creates a connection with them, while others hide their feelings and suffer alone.
3. The effective mindset for solving problems: Some people confront their problems directly and without reservation toward themselves; for this, they make a plan, while others deny that there is any problem and continue to divert their attention from it.

After identifying these three indicators, our study found that the ideal response is to stay calm, trust some close people, and develop a plan to confront the problem that begins with the current procedure. We found that people who respond rationally to stress are more likely to lead happy lives, earn more money, and experience lower levels of stress than others.

This research came as a follow-up to the study we conducted with the Huffington Post on the effect of news broadcasts on the brain. The negative impact of news is not limited to the period in which it is watched; rather, its effect extends up to eight hours. This means that the mood or mindset we have in the morning can extend to the end of the day.

When our brains become full of negative information early in the morning, our perspective on our professional and personal lives generally changes. Gossip at work or a negative boss can undermine an employee's passion and sense of involvement.

We are more likely to miss out on the positive feedback we receive concurrently when we only pay attention to the negative aspects of the criticism we receive as a review of our performance. This is because negativity, in all of its forms, has an impact on us that is more lasting.

There are two manageable inflection points when it comes to the impact of our mindset on others, which are what we think of and how it is reflected on the outside. So you can prepare your day to be a success by knowing what kind of positive information you receive.

Of course, there are many things that you cannot control, but problems will begin to grow when you think that this applies to all things and that you are unable to control anything. This negative mindset will be reflected in your work and relationships.

Find Reliable Sources That Provide Articles with Useful Solutions

From now on, skip the tragic stories and other sad news and instead look for reliable sources that provide you with reliable articles for obtaining useful solutions. While most people get their news from social media, academic articles are the best option.

There is no doubt that what we follow on social media influences what we believe. In a study conducted by Cornell University in 2014 in collaboration with Facebook, researchers found that when they adjust a person's News Feed list to be more positive, the person posts more positive things on their page.

Therefore, the capacity to speak up and provide positive reinforcement is one of the traits of a great leader. There is no need to doubt these facts after our study, which involved 689,000 people, demonstrated the power of adopting a positive mindset when influencing others.

So our mindset is reflected on others through the words we use to express our mental attitude; we exercise a multiplier effect on others. So if you have a toxic friend on Facebook or on a social networking application, feel free to unfollow them.

Be sure to make social media a way to make you happy, follow nice pictures, and read thought-provoking articles. The easiest and fastest way to become a positive speaker is through what is called, in media science, the headline. Ask yourself, “What is the main headline that I put up when I talk to others?” Imagine that you are a news anchor, and you should start your speech with a meaningful and positive title.

There are only two types of reactions the listener will display if you begin your speech with something negative. Either pity or an escalation of the negativity. When you tell them about your troubles, for instance, they counter that they are minor in comparison to their own.

After that, be careful not to respond negatively to the inquiry "How are you?" by saying something negative like "exhausted, annoyed, or tired," and instead offer something straightforward and helpful like "fine." As we previously stated, the traits of an effective leader include initiative and positive conversation flow.

Read also: From Passive to Proactive: Master Your Circle of Influence

You Can Increase a Person's Creativity in Problem-Solving by Focusing on the Solution

The first time I saw the effectiveness of this strategy was when I was developing a positive psychology program that had 1.5 million subscribers, and on a visit to our site, one of the participants, Sharon, suggested that we should study her for being the happiest woman ever.

She was friendly and positive in a touching way and laughed heartily, at which point I smiled and asked her, “How can we be sure that you are the most positive person of all?” And then she told me a story I will never forget.

You can increase a person's ability to solve problems creatively by shifting their focus to solving rather than the problem. Later, Sharon met the man she had always dreamed of; they married, and she was very happy, but a few months later, her mother died suddenly.

Her husband stood by her within six months of her grief, and when she began to regain her normal life, he died in a car accident. Sharon said she had the right to see herself as the happiest woman in existence because, despite all the tragedies that have occurred to her, she has made a conscious decision not only to remain positive but also to affect others positively.

Sharon greets customers with positive phrases such as "What a beautiful day," then asks them, “How is it going?” That is, she begins the conversation with a positive statement. This is an application of the main heading rule by starting her conversation positively. Sharon lays the foundation for beneficial relationships based on her belief that her choices and mindset determine the extent of her positive experiences in this world and her happiness as well.

Sometimes it can be difficult to see the positive impact of our choices on others, but we were lucky to see this with clear evidence during a call we received from one of our former clients. Years ago, a client who was an entrepreneur sold his company for $100 million. When he told us, we thought he was very happy, but that wasn’t the case at all.

He explained that he had a panic attack the night after the deal was made. He felt that after he sold his company, he had nothing left. His children were far from him, and he thought that his wife would divorce him and that he would become obese. So that night he collapsed completely, and his wife told him that she did not intend to separate from him; she just wanted to go for a walk with him, and he reluctantly agreed.

As they walked, she asked him what he was grateful for, and he admitted that the question was difficult, but he finally came up with two things he felt grateful for, and at the end of the picnic, he felt a little better. So he walked with his wife every night, and every night he felt better.

Two weeks later, he had the idea of having his daughters do the same thing at dinner, so his little girl agreed; she saw it as nice, but the older one did not want it, so the parents decided to do it in front of her.

A few weeks later, the father of one of our client's daughter's friends, who was visiting her friend, called. He sternly informed him that he wanted to meet with him to discuss his daughter's actions when she was at her friend's house. Our client was worried that his daughter had misbehaved while she was at her friend's house, but the man clarified that he wanted to meet him since his daughter had recently felt that several of her classmates had been bullies. She then ordered the girls to form a circle and proceed to go around with one another while praising one another.

Here, the multiplier effect is evident. The wife initially altered the course of conversation, forcing her husband to talk about appreciation rather than anxiety. The father applied it to his two daughters at home, and the teenage girl, in turn, applied it to her friends.

In Conclusion

There are countless opportunities in the day during which we can choose to feel happy and make others feel it, and this does not mean ignoring the negatives; all there is to do is decide not to fall into a vicious circle of negative thinking and feeling.

We take action and feel grateful for the good things. Consider seriously altering your influence on people and making it positive. Each of us can influence others, so why don't we have a positive impact on them?