The Psychology of Waiting And Letting Down

It is true that you may be exhausted and tired, but we cannot deny the importance of learning the skill of waiting. Although it is classified as a skill, it needs training.

In this article, we will learn about the most critical psychological points in waiting to avoid being let down.

What is the first step in waiting skill training?

The training to wait begins with a basic and essential first step to start. It can be said that the skill is not acquired without it, which is to break the state of denial that you feel toward your hurry, haste, or exaggerated rush toward something. Then, the human must admit the size of the loss they suffered because of their excessive rush.

What is the role of accepting loss in learning the skill of waiting?

The best thing a man can do in the face of any loss they are exposed to is to take it easily and not escape. Accepting loss does not mean ever giving up and saying that I lost and it is over, but it means precisely inventorying the loss accurately to know its causes, details, and data and discussing the flaws and shortcomings to avoid them in the next war. Here lies the skill of waiting and not escaping forward.

Are there steps help you master the skill of waiting?

After you accept and analyze your loss, start the patience phase and declare to yourself that you need it very much. You should enter into patience learning exercises, which can be summarized as follows:

1. You can start this learning with easy training that doesn't cost you any time or effort, such as training yourself to eat slowly.
2. If you feel angry or irritated about a situation, person, or idea, take a deep breath and train yourself to be silent in such situations; you can resort to busying yourself with something -between you and your emotion - until the calm returns slowly.
3. Even if you are hungry or emotionally thirsty, be patient and postpone entering any emotional relationship by convincing yourself that this period of thirst will pass and expire as if it were not. So, do not allow your desire or need to force you to enter into a toxic relationship that harms you more than it benefits you.
4. No one can deny that man's opinion toward an idea, event, or issue is an essential part of their personality and an honest expression of their essence and value, so if you are asked about your opinion, it is better to wait and think of your answer because it will actually contribute to forming a real impression around you.
5. In any problem between two people, each party works to absolve themselves of all guilt or reduce the importance of their mistakes and put the whole blame on the other party, by amplifying their mistakes. If you are asked about your opinion in a dispute between two people, do not express your opinion only after listening to both views; this waiting process helps form an objective and careful opinion. You can apply this method to a lot of other things.
6. At the beginning of any relationship, the feelings are in a state of impulse or frenzy. Human emotions carry a great degree of fondness for new things, so it will inevitably affect your right decision. Here you must wait for some time until these emotions return to normal and clear their clouds to determine your feelings toward the other party.
7. The skill of maintaining calmness is the cornerstone of the skill of waiting. Calmness helps extensively monitor ideas and classify them as helpful or unhelpful, appropriate or inappropriate, and then choose the right words, phrases, or ideas that serve the situation.
8. It is very important to convince yourself of an important idea: that patience coupled with awareness never means surrendering to reality, but it is a skill that requires persistence and courage.
9. There is a trick that you have to overcome to master the skill of waiting. An external worker does not do this trick,but your mind does it , and this mental trick is the first impression, which makes you jump to a set of consecutive conclusions that lead you one after another like dominoes.
10. Read well. Many valuable books talk about the skill of self-control, which you can apply in the details of your daily life.

What is the relationship between waiting and letting down?

Letting down can often be associated with poor waiting skills. For example, waiting for someone on a pre-agreed date and not coming to the appointment will bring you into the midst of ugly feelings of a letdown, but if you spend the waiting time listening to your favorite music or retracting your little notebook wherever you go in your pocket or bag, you will have written on this pocketbook some notes that may have something to do with your study, what you plan to do or new words in the language you intend to master.

This type of waiting can reduce feelings of letdown. We can summarize this relationship that letdown may result from poor waiting skills and that learning waiting skills may help overcome or relieve feelings of a letdown.

What is the psychology of letting down?

The feeling of letting down occurs due to a state of repulsion or rejection that causes severe humiliation and is one of the most profound feelings that harm the self.

Those who have been hurt by the rejection and the feelings of letdown may reach the final conviction that the only way to escape the bullets of rejection and the flame of letdown is to remain sitting in absolute silence, in a place completely far from any risks that may bring them to let down or repel.

But this isolationist or introverted behavior, which keeps the person in a cold and dark corner, will strengthen the impact of letdown feelings caused by repulsion or rejection because of negative thoughts that eat up the person from the inside and are unique to them when they are alone.

How to avoid or minimize the impact of being let down on us?

Convincing ourselves that the repulsion or rejection we may experience more than once is not an accusation of our personal being and not because of a problem in our personality; instead, it is an experience that any human being who lives life and fights with its problems and circumstances will go through, may help us avoid the impact of letting us down.

When we are convinced that the experiences of rejection and abandonment are normal and daily experiences that we have to face every time we face life, we will be more able to accept and bear the rejection. Then, we will reach the least possible feeling of abandonment, faster recovery, and a faster return to the race of daily life.

Another point that cannot be overlooked in dealing with rejection and disappointment is the nature of the person who practices the act of rejection. They may be psychologically unbalanced, or irrational reasons may cause their rejection; this helps to determine our reaction to rejection and the extent of its impact on our feelings and lives.

The most appropriate way to deal with rejection is to convince your brain that what happened is a mismatch, not that you're a bad or worthless person.

The fear of being rejected by others or constantly warned of their criticisms makes one appear in all forms and faces that suit people's tastes. Their fear of rejection leads them to hide their true self and not show their true personality; this harms their psyche and may lead to the incitement of their latent psychological disorders.

A person may be betrayed by the people they always believe that they love or support and to whom they gave all the feelings of sincerity and excessive generosity towards them. So, any person shouldn't exaggerate or rush to give. Do not overdo it - because feelings may change at any time, even without the will of their owners - so as not to fall into the pit of disappointment.

It is possible to get a warranty for your smartphone, car or power tools, but this is never the case with human relationships; understanding this fact lowers our expectations and reduces the impact of letting down.

We must realize that each person has their own suffering in this life, so do not talk excessively about your suffering in front of others because each of them has enough worries, but you can talk about how you overcome your illness, problem or suffering, and talk about what you want to do in the future, as this reduces the possibility of rejection by the other, people always cling to those who give them hope and reject those who sell them despair.

People love strong people and do not reject them at all. The most crucial step in the path of power is to draw a wide red line around your psychological limits with others and not to allow anyone to cross them; it is the safety valve that protects your inner being and makes you immune to disappointment or rejection.

In conclusion

It cannot be denied that our experience of a range of negative emotions strikes deep within us, negatively impacts the quality of our lives, and makes the path more difficult. However, the feeling of surviving and overcoming it is a great victory in itself, and victory makes us braver for what comes next.