Four Strategies to Silence the Critical Voice Inside of You

We often think negatively, expect the "worst," see the downside of positive attitudes, and even expect failure. I thought it was a kind of emotional insurance: if we expect the worst, we will not be disappointed when that happens.

Our desire to be right is another common reason we subconsciously choose negative thinking. Sometimes we would rather be right about our negative predictions than have positive outcomes prove us wrong. Negative thinking leads to negative actions or, in many cases, no action. Through negative thinking, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy for ourselves; in other words, we think negatively, we expect a negative result, we act negatively, and then we get a negative result that meets our expectations.

Of course, none of this is what we want or need in our lives.

Four powerful strategies to silence the critical voice inside of you that leads to getting lost:

1. Start by focusing on the gray area:

Life is not just black and white, everything or nothing; thinking this way leads to misery because negative thinking makes you see any attitude that is not ideal as a very bad attitude, for example:

• Instead of saying, "The storm delayed my return home," we say, "The storm destroyed my evening and spoiled my night."
• Instead of saying, "It takes a while for my business to gain people's attention," we say, "My business will never succeed, and it will destroy my financial future."
• Instead of accepting the tension of meeting a new group of people, we say, "I know these people won't like me."

Since the vast majority of life situations are not ideal, thinking "everything or nothing" makes us focus on negativity: tragedies, failures, and the worst-case scenarios that can occur. Certainly, disasters can sometimes occur, but contrary to what you often see on news channels, most of life's events occur in a gray area between maximum bliss and maximum destruction.

If you experience gray vision, sit down and bring a pen and paper. Write down the best results, the worst ones, and at least one realistic result that falls between these two contrasts. For example, suppose you were worried about an emotional relationship. Write the following:

• The worst result: "This relationship is a failure, and it will end with my heart breaking"
• The best result: "This relationship is great and there will be no arguments."
• The realistic result: "There will be great times, good times, bad times, but we will work together, we will respect each other, and we will give our relationship a fair chance before any conclusion can be reached. "

Make the realistic result as detailed and long as you like, or insert more than one realistic result. Giving your mind more options to consider will help reduce exaggerated emotions and allow you to think more clearly and realistically.

2. Stop looking for negative signals from others:

Often, we rush to conclusions only to cause ourselves and others unnecessary frustration, harm, and anger. So if someone says something, don't assume that it means something else, and if they say nothing at all, don't assume that their silence has some hidden negative connotation.

Certainly, negative thinking will lead you to interpret everything the other person does as negative, especially when you are not sure what the other person thinks. For example, you might think, "They haven't contacted me yet, so they must not want to talk to me," or "She just said it to be nice, but it doesn't mean it ".

Interpreting a situation before you know the whole story makes you more likely to believe that the uncertainty you feel (based on a lack of knowledge) is also a negative sign. On the other hand, postponing the interpretation of incomplete stories is necessary to overcome negative thinking, when you think more positively or are clearer about the facts you will be able to assess all the possible reasons you can think of, not just negative ones; In other words, you'll think this way: "I don't know why he hasn't called me yet, but maybe..."

• "... they are busy at work".
• “…their phone signal is weak at their workplace.”
• "...they are waiting for me to call them."

None of these circumstances is considered negative; all are as reasonable as any other possible interpretation. So the next time you feel uncertain and insecure and find yourself nervous about a problem that doesn't exist, stop and take a deep breath, then tell yourself, "This is just in my head." Being able to discern what you imagine is happening in your life is an important step towards a positive life.

3. Evaluate and eliminate unreasonable rules and expectations:

The world must be treated as it is, not as it expects it to be. Life is not bound to provide exactly what you expect; what you're looking for rarely comes as you expect. That doesn't make it any less awesome, so stop imposing your misunderstood expectations and rules on life and change your mindset as follows:

• Instead of saying: "They are late, so they must not care about me, "say, "Maybe they got stuck in traffic."
• Instead of saying, "If I can't get this right, I must not be smart enough," say, "Maybe I just need a little more practice."
• Instead of saying, "I haven't heard back from my doctor, so my test results must be bad," say, "Maybe the lab is too crowded and my results haven't come out yet."

Creating such rules about how life should be based on your stubborn expectations is a great way to stay stuck at rock bottom, which doesn't mean you shouldn't expect anything from yourself and others (diligence, honesty, determination, etc.). Rather, the rules governing your expectations should not direct you towards unreasonable negative conclusions.

If you feel dissatisfied or frustrated by a result, you must have expected something different. So instead of getting upset, ask yourself, "Were my expectations so limited?" and "What new facts have I learned?"

The bottom line is that you should see and accept things as they are rather than limit them to what you hoped, wished, or expected them to be. Just because it wasn't what you thought it was doesn't mean it isn't what you need to get where you want to go.

4. Accept and use the refusal to find appropriate opportunities:

Once criticized or rejected by someone, you might think, "This proves to me once again that I am not valuable," but it’s important to know that these people do not deserve you, and rejection is necessary medicine. It teaches you how to reject opportunities that won't work for you so you can find new ones that will.

Refusal does not mean that you are not good enough; it means that the other person has failed to notice what you have to offer, and it means that you have more time to improve, to rely on your ideas, to master your craft, and to indulge your work more deeply.

Of course, you'll get hurt when it happens. You are a human being, and no one is immune to heartbreak, even a little, when getting rejected. Shortly after that, you will ask yourself a lot of questions, such as:

• "What did I do wrong?"
• "Why didn't they love me?"
• "How did that happen?"

But then you have to let your emotions fuel you. This is the important part: allowing your feelings of rejection to encourage you, fuel you, and inspire you to open up for the next phase of your life.

When you look at your past life, you will realize that many times you thought you had been deprived of something good that directed you to something better. You cannot control everything, and sometimes you only need to relax and believe that things will work out. So allow life to go the way it's supposed to, because sometimes the results that you can't change will change you.

In Conclusion:

Think positively. Life is good, and many people miss the good things because they expect to see something better. Positive thinking is not always about expecting the best to happen but about accepting that whatever happens is the best at the moment. So keep smiling and maintain your honesty and loyalty, and one day the critical little voice in your head won't have anything to say.