Beliefs You Will Eventually Grow Out Of
Everybody has a personal story in their minds; so do you. That story is easily a set of beliefs that ultimately make you who you are. They lay the foundation for every action you take or refrain from taking in life. You are essentially building yourself into this story day in and day out.
For a while, everything seems to be fine, as if life is going well until you reach your thirties, forties, or fifties. You get shocked by the harsh reality that doesn't match the story you've been building up, and that hurts you.
You struggle to cope with the pain you feel, but you get traumatized again and again by similar occurrences, and it goes on like this until you realize that the story you have been telling yourself and holding on to all these years is the main source of your pain because the beliefs supporting it are completely wrong and hopeless.
It is not easy, but you have to accept it, and you have to come to terms with the fact that you were wrong about it all along; what you thought was real turned out to be just an illusion based on false beliefs, and it was never how you imagined it.
This moment is awakening, and though it is painful at first, it will turn into something beautiful in the long run. Awareness will gradually become, over time, the new foundation of your journey and your story will be rewritten with powerful facts.
You have to grow out of countless false beliefs, such as the following
1. Believing that waiting until tomorrow makes sense
We know deep down that life is short and that death will eventually come to all of us. However, we are always surprised when it happens to someone we know. It's like walking up the stairs with a distracted mind, not paying attention to the last step. You might have expected that there would be an extra flight of stairs. So you find yourself unbalanced before your mind returns to the present moment, and you accept the world in its true form.
But truth be told, there will be a day when there will be no tomorrow, and we need to accept this harsh reality.
One woman, 72, shared some of her thoughts on regret: "Why didn't I learn to accept everything as it is, appreciate it, and treat each day as if it were my last? Honestly, my biggest regret is how much I believed in tomorrow." Hopefully, we can all heed her words and learn from them.
2. Believing that you need to look outside of yourself for motivation
The most common problem with motivation is that when we say we are looking for it, somehow it seems like it is hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. We don’t realize this until later in life, but that could not be further from the truth.
The truth is that our motivation comes from doing the right things. We are inspired to move forward when our efforts have meaning.
It's true that we are all different, but let's take two examples of two ambitions that might motivate you:
- To know more today than we knew yesterday, especially since doing so relates to meaningful projects and desires.
- Relieve the pain of others.
Living by these two core aspirations on a daily basis and constantly thinking about the progress we are making can motivate us personally and professionally. Think about it and ask yourself: Beyond all the things you say you have to do, what significance and value do you hope to create in the end?
3. Believing that everyone else knows what works for you
Give yourself the space to listen to your inner voice. Most people listen to the noise of the world and lose themselves in the crowd. You can be different, though. Don't watch too much TV; don't listen to too much news; and be strong enough to fill your time with meaningful experiences.
Life is the space and time you occupy at this very moment. If you are worried about celebrities, for example, you become marginalized and surrender your life to the manipulation of marketing and fake news that large corporations eventually produce to manipulate you into wanting to be or seem a specific way.
This kind of thinking is very tragic. It is all a distraction from what is true and good. You, your friends, family, loved ones, wonderful moments, hopes, and dreams represent all that is real and good.
You already know this, so listen to what your heart is telling you because, in the end, one way or another, you will. Because there will inevitably come a day when you will finally be wise and strong enough to do so.
4. Believing that all alerts and distractions deserve our attention
Distractions are all around us these days, but we have to remember to search more. We need to learn to be more human again. Don't avoid eye contact with others, don't hide behind your screens, and smile more.
Prompt people to tell their stories and listen attentively. You can't communicate with anyone, including yourself, unless you're present and undistracted. You can't be either when you're scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat on your smartphone, disregarding the normal flow of your life.
If you always feel attached to your smartphone and are unfocused on your surroundings, you are depriving yourself of experiencing real relationships and real life as well.
5. Believing that being busy is good
Consider this simple question: "Am I investing this rare and precious day properly?" It was proposed that a group of students participate in an experiment where they are required to ask themselves when they feel overburdened by work—a question that tends to become more significant as we age.
Time gradually shows us how fleeting our lives really are. Every day is filled with meaningless preoccupations, which nonetheless seem tempting to do, but you have to resist the temptation and make room for yourself. Your ultimate goal is to live a life free of most of the distractions that people fill their lives with, leaving room for what's really important.
Life is not about constant busyness, rushing, and resistance; it is about mindful meditation, connection with people, and projects you really love.
6. Believing that knowledge alone is sufficient
Learning is great in the short term, but if you plan to make positive changes in your life, knowledge on its own will not make you successful in the long term. For example, knowing all the steps needed to recover from alcohol addiction is different from devoting yourself completely to each of these steps.
The fact that you gain knowledge does not mean that you grow, because growth happens when what you know changes the way you live. We all learn this lesson at some point, often the hard way, by realizing we haven't made any real progress but then we take action. This is how real progress happens. Then everything will change for the better.
7. Believing that the faster, the better
It started in our youth, as if this saying were true, but gradually and with the passage of time, we witness the power of “going slowly and steadily” in work, and we learn that no opportunity for love, kindness, or diligence is wasted, no matter how small.
The fact that you can plant a seed to become a tree, share a bit of knowledge for someone else to own later, smile at someone, and get a smile in return is proof that you can make a huge difference in life and work.
So don't overwork yourself today, and remember that you can't lift 1,000 pounds at once, but you can easily lift one pound a thousand times, especially when the process is spread over a number of days. Small, repeated daily efforts will get you where you want to go.
8. Believing that comfort is the ultimate goal
A very common, harmful addiction in this world is the desire for comfort. Don't be someone who never asks, "How?" Or hesitates to ask, “Why?” Many young people do not ask these questions because they know the answers will require getting out of their comfort zone, which they don't want. It's how the human mind grows, and we all eventually learn this one way or another.
When our minds are filled with new questions and resulting experiences, they never return to their former state. We become more efficient and capable, and truth be told, when you accept the hardships of life, they will eventually pass, and unexpected blessings come to life—we replace ignorance with awareness, steadfastness with frustration, hatred with kindness, and so on.
9. Believing that you are the center of the universe
When we are young, we put ourselves at the center of everything, seeing each outcome in terms of how it affects us personally. As we grow older and broaden our horizons, we begin to see that our self-centered thinking has a lot going for it, starting with feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go exactly as expected, right down to our self-doubt when we fail to be perfect.
To realize that shifting our focus to others for a while can help, and that it is one of the great ironies of life that when we help others, we end up benefiting as much, if not more, than those we help.
So whenever you feel stuck, try to shift your focus from looking at your circumstances to those of people around you, and instead of asking yourself, “What's wrong with me?” ask, “How can I help you?” Find the person who needs a helping hand and make a small, reasonable offer they cannot refuse. This newly gained perspective will guide you forward.
10. Believing that everyone has the potential to be kind and loving
People will not appreciate what you do for them, and not everyone will do for you what you do for them, because no one has the same heart as you do, and this is the reality.
You will eventually realize that you will be disappointed if you expect things to be different. So be kind and loving to people because you want to be; don't let your expectations get the better of you; and identify the people who deserve your long-term attention and those who are just taking advantage of you.
If you waste your time and energy on the wrong people and for the wrong reasons, you may end up in a tedious cycle of fleeting friendships and meaningless relationships, and it may lead you to a general feeling of wondering why you are so persistently seeking the affection of others and validating your actions.
11. Believing you can save some hopeless people from themselves
You will gradually learn that you cannot easily save some people from themselves. So do not indulge too much in their daily tragedy. In any case, those who cause permanent chaos in their lives will not appreciate your interference in what they have caused. They want sympathetic words like, "You poor thing," but they don't want to change.
They do not want you to fix their lives, and they do not want a solution to their problems and stories or to arrange their chaos. They don't know what will be left of them if that happens, and they are not ready to know yet, and in fact, it is not your duty to tell them.
12. Believing that forgiveness is not necessary
Over time, we learn about the power of tolerance. We learn that a relationship once broken and mended with forgiveness can become stronger than it was before, but we also learn, of course, that things are not always like this. Forgiveness does not necessarily lead to healed relationships, because that is not the point of it.
Some relationships are not destined to succeed and continue, and sometimes they should not continue, but if you should be forgiven for your sake in any case, then let the relationships that are written for success be like that. Forgiveness allows you to focus on the future without fighting the past.
You promise yourself not to hold on to the unchangeable past at the expense of your present when you forgive someone. So it is not a question of freeing a criminal from their crime; rather, it is all about freeing yourself from the burden of being an eternal victim.
13. Believing that external beauty is a top priority
As you age, your outward appearance becomes less important, and your inner personality becomes the main point of interest. This is because you gradually learn that being infatuated with someone just for their appearance is like choosing your favorite food based on color rather than taste.
Later on, you begin to pay more attention to the innate, invisible, and immeasurable qualities that give lasting attraction. Just as some people enjoy the smell of mint while others prefer the smell of cinnamon, there is an undeniable attraction that draws you to the qualities of some people.
Sometimes it's the scars you share with those people that draw you to them and give you the very axes that will hold you together for the long haul.
14. Believing you can buy your way to long-term happiness
There are two basic types of happiness in life: fleeting and permanent. The fleeting kind is most commonly gained by anticipating and acquiring new or digital possessions, while the permanent kind is achieved by the gradual growth of your mind. Which experiences, lessons, and realizations bring greater awareness, acceptance, and peace to your consciousness in the end?
It can be difficult to tell the difference between fleeting and lasting happiness at a young age, but with time, it becomes clear that the latter is more satisfying. So start today by challenging yourself to be less impressed by the things you own and more impressed by the life you live.
15. Thinking that all your fears and worries will come true
When you look back one day, you will realize that all your turbulent fears and anxieties never materialized and were completely unjustified and needless, so why not wake up to this fact now? The thing that worries you controls you, and it won't change the outcome anyway.
A positive attitude towards things can change everything over time. So looking back on the past few days, how many moments have you spoiled with worry and needless negativity? Although you can't do anything about these lost moments, you have a lot you can do about the ones you're living right now, which are also on their way to you.
16. Believing failure is the end of the world
Do you want to know the difference between a professional and a beginner? It is that the ingenious person has failed many times more than the attempts made by the novice. Behind every great invention, innovation, or work of art are hundreds of failed attempts to achieve it, but, simply put, these attempts never appear before us.
The truth is that you may not succeed in exactly the way you hoped and within the exact time frame you hoped for, but you will learn and grow from your experiences and failures, and you will be better off in the end.
You will eventually learn that there is no set path in life that you have to follow to get what you want. What you want comes from noticing the progress you have made and understanding that every lesson is a step forward.
17. Believing in the validity of every guarantee of safety and security
We often, especially when we are young and a bit naive, believe in illusions and guarantees of safety and security, so we buy insurance and shut ourselves out inside our homes. We cut ourselves off from large parts of the world, and we do it all in an effort to be safe.
But the older we get, the more we realize that nothing is certain in this world. The world is constantly evolving, and restricting yourself with most safety and security measures is not usually safer in the long run than exposing yourself to the outside world and using your common sense to get ahead.
It is more satisfying to dare to take on the great experiences life has to offer than to retire forever in the safety and security of leaving the greater part of your life unlived.
18. Believing that you will feel 100% complete in all areas one day
As you live your life, you will gradually come to terms with the idea that you cannot have or know everything. You are but a small part of the whole, because if you do not, you will have nothing more to experience.
So value what you know and the countless things you do not yet understand. You will find the joy of growth in the things you do not understand, and life will always be incomplete and uneven to some extent. Appreciate this and accept it; be happy and sad at the same time; be tense and excited at the same time; and accept this situation.
19. Believing that things are the way they are supposed to be
As you get older, you will find that life is not necessarily easier or harder than you thought it would be. It is just that the easy and the hard are not exactly what you expected. It is neither easy nor hard when you expect it, which is not a bad thing; it even makes life fun.
By adopting a positive attitude, you will be pleasantly surprised more often, and when you stop expecting things to happen a certain way, you can appreciate them for what they are, and you will eventually realize that life's greatest gifts are rarely packaged the way you expect them to be.
20. Believing that starting over is not an option
No one wins a game of chess by moving forward. Sometimes you have to step back to put yourself in a position to win. Think about how this example relates to your life.
When you sometimes feel that you are facing one dead end after another, this is actually a sign that you are not on the right path, and this is completely normal. There is a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. There are three simple words that can set you free from your mistakes in the past and your regrets and return you to the right path, namely: "From now on..."