Your Top Five Closest Friends’ Influence On Your Success

The first time I heard the proverb, "You are the average of the five people closest to you," I knew it was accurate and true.

Note: This article is based on life coach Christine Mitterbauer, in which she tells us about her experience of how the people closest to her influenced her personality.

I never imagined that some of my past friendships would have an impact on how my life turned out, but I eventually realized that this is exactly what had happened.

The Influence of Friends

I am now convinced that the influence of your friends has a subtle but very powerful effect on your values, thoughts, actions, and behavior, either for better or for worse. Our closest friends will influence our goals and accomplishments in life. This is a frightening but true fact.

In this article, I'll share a personal experience and, more importantly, offer my viewpoint on how you can improve your ability to recognize this effect, which will ultimately enable you to gain control over your life.

My parents and teachers stressed the value of studying and getting good grades when I was a young girl. Up until that point, everything was going well; I received really good grades and was accepted into my preferred university.

The next stage of my life was, to put it mildly, chaotic. I saw myself surrounded by young, party-loving peers for the first time in my life, and though I can't pinpoint the exact moment when my goals and values changed, they did.

My guiding principle for the following three years was to simply enjoy life and partake in as many enjoyable activities and adrenaline-inducing experiences as I could.

I remember thinking I was "living life on my own terms," but recently I realized I was just following my friends' lead.

But as soon as graduation drew near and it was time to find a job that suited me, even though my parents' and teachers' influence over me to ensure my graduation was still indirectly present, it diminished because I was spending less time with them.

I instead had the brilliant idea to go to India and work as a marketing intern at a PR agency. At the time, the move seemed like the best option, but I later discovered that university friends who had spent the majority of their time abroad for a year were very common.

Did the concept sink in? I'm not trying to imply that I have no control over any of this or that I'm not appreciative of my good education, but the truth is that you rarely realize how influenced you are by those around you until it's too late.

Friends have a powerful influence, so if you want to improve your life, surround yourself with people who share many of your admirable traits.

I absolutely love the phrase "standing on the shoulders of giants," which refers to how people learn new things by building on the knowledge of those who came before them. However, you should also think about how bad relationships can affect you.

If you are around people who have unfavorable attitudes, beliefs, or behaviors, this will affect you gradually but surely, and you might experience a sense of utter exhaustion even though you might feel delighted and upbeat after meeting someone else.

How do you manage how those around you affect you?

The problem differs from person to person, but in my opinion, this includes those who are:

• Upbeat.
• Express appreciation.
• Accept accountability for their existence.
• Go after their goals.

Take a close look at your social media accounts and all the friends you interact with in your free time, because today, our circle of friends includes everyone we follow and like online.

Ask yourself: What kind of person would you like to be? At your funeral, what do you want people to say about you? Make a list of all the traits you would like to possess. Then, be completely honest with yourself and ask: Do the five people I spend the most time with share these characteristics? Does any of them drain you of more happiness and energy than they give you?

Everyone experiences bad phases, so before breaking off the friendship, you should, of course, try to help this person overcome their negative beliefs. However, you also need to be realistic, look at past patterns, and ultimately consider your own adventure. You also need to surround yourself with new and inspiring people, but how do you do that?

• Do you know any acquaintances who you think favorably of but who you haven't gotten to know well? They can come over for dinner, or you can suggest inviting them over for coffee. Always consider how you can improve their lives, what new knowledge you can impart to them, and whom you can introduce them to; this will make you happy, make a new friend, and increase the likelihood that they will return the favor in the future.
• Do you like any public figures, or would you like to get to know them better? Read their bio, follow them on social media, engage with them there, try to put some of their advice into practice, and thank them for the value they bring to your life.
• Do you know anyone who owns the business or job you most want? Ask them if they have 10 minutes to talk to you on the phone while being approachable and humble. When I first became a coach, I successfully accomplished that. Of the people I emailed, more than 50 agreed to give me some of their time. They provided me with a lot of inspiration and taught me a lot.

In conclusion

Be accurate and honest with yourself about the traits you would like to possess and the things you want to be known for. Then, evaluate your friends critically and consider how much they contribute to your life. Finally, think of original ways to include new, motivating friends in your social circle.

My advice is to start your own adventure, maximizing the time you spend with motivating and positive people while minimizing the time you spend with the wrong kind of people. You literally shape your future by choosing the people you spend the most time with.