Six Tips for Having Effective Small Talk Online

7 أكتوبر 2025

Whether you enjoy it or not, chatting while working in the office is an essential skill that will help you build better relationships with colleagues and improve your feelings during the day.

Research has found that polite small talk will improve people's moods, and chatting with co-workers about life topics beyond deadlines and to-do lists will provide an important reminder that employees are more than just numbers and production machines.

During the coronavirus pandemic, many frank conversations have taken place online. Participating in a short conversation on the phone screen can cause some people to be embarrassed, and when a person is feeling stressed and anxious, it may seem difficult to exchange messages via chat programs with a coworker, especially when you are not used to it.

Have an effective short conversation online

Here are some tips on how to have effective small talk online while staying true to yourself.

1. Don't overdo the response time

Just because you're using an instant messaging platform doesn't mean you have to communicate and respond instantly.

We get clear signals through body language in face-to-face conversations, telling us how much a person is enjoying and interested in what we are saying. Lawrese Brown, founder of the educational company C-Track Training, explained: “In the absence of face-to-face communication, we may take the delay in response time to mean something other than what it bears, and we may misinterpret it as a kind of mockery.”

Brown said: “Your belief that the success of the conversation depends on the speed of the response will cause you anxiety, especially when it is a fleeting conversation or an open discussion. Because you will become more isolated, assuming that the conversation will fail just because of the late reply.”

Therefore, to put your mind at ease, initiate a conversation with others with the expectation in advance that they are not obliged to respond directly.

2. Find Common Ground and Define Discussion Points

“To get past the dating killer routine questions of evolving online conversation, you need to ask more specific questions,” says journalist and author of We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter, Celeste Headley.

“One of the best things to ask is, for example, ‘What changed in the last week? And what happened during the past week?” The initiative to ask them about specific details relieves the trouble of interpreting your questions, especially in light of the lack of sufficient information to correctly interpret the meaning of your question, such as hearing the tone of your voice or seeing your face.

“The key to an interesting conversation is to target topics of interest,” says professional coach Jamie Terran.

This is because it is a mistake to anticipate what will be discussed during a short, casual conversation. As professional coach Tiran said, “The key to an interesting conversation is that the topics are interesting to you.” You may want to chat about the last episode of a reality TV show, exchange stories about pets, exchange recipes—whatever you choose, choose a start that matches your actual interests.

Be careful not to make the common ground between you and the other party about how much you hate the work or a co-worker; Tiran says that building rapport with people through complaints and negative gossip will sound tempting at first, but it will leave a ready negative record of your conversation; Employers can easily access online messages on platforms like Slack, and your comments can be used against you later; and spamming colleagues can contribute to a toxic work culture.

3. Don't associate casual talk with a request for a favor

The joy of casual conversation is spoiled when it is followed by the routine "How are you?” followed by the request "Can you do this for me?" You should not use the short conversation as an interface for job requests. Brown explained how the person felt afterwards: "You'll feel sorry and say, 'Oh, it sounds like you're asking for a favor,' but you can start with what you want to ask and then move on to the chat."

"So that conversations don't seem to be purely for the sake of interest, make sure to start with small talk when you don't need anything from your colleague, set aside a little time to communicate with people for no reason, and communicate with them if you really want just to communicate with someone else," Teran says.

4. Use visuals during a text conversation

One of the advantages of short online chats is that you don't rely on words alone. You can have a chat and share funny stickers or GIFs with your colleague.

"When you're having a personal conversation, you feel like you're in charge of everything that comes out," Brown says.

You have to control the whole conversation—every pause, every joke—while online communication provides many tools that make things easier.”

5. Remember to have a face-to-face video call option

Remote short conversations don't just happen via text chat; you can go to video chats. Using video chats with coworkers during lunch is a fun way to take a break and talk about anything away from work.

Tiran also suggested bringing this idea up informally with co-workers. It can be said: “I have seen on the Internet that many people have begun to meet through the “Zoom” application for acquaintance, so what do you think about having lunch with me during our “Zoom” meeting this week?

6. Let the conversation end naturally, or end it decisively

Depending on your relationship with your co-worker, allowing the online conversation to end smoothly without the need for a final good-bye will be fine. “The pace of messaging varies naturally with the people we feel comfortable with."

But when a casual conversation has gone on for too long, it's okay to end it on a polite note, and Brown suggested letting the other person know in advance that you have to go at a certain time.

And if you're talking to someone you don't know very well, Brown confirms that it's okay to end the conversation in a formal way, saying, "It would be great to follow the etiquette of saying, 'It's nice catching up, thank you,' or ‘Let's keep in touch,'" she advises. Some phrases in case you don't want to communicate again, like "I appreciate your time," would be a great choice.