Letting Go of Feelings of Anxiety Associated with the Past

There is a saying that goes “Depression lives in the past, whereas anxiety lives in the future.” This is one of the most touching sayings that one can tell themself. I am prone to getting depressed and anxious, and while I am not one to bet, I am willing to bet that it is true that you feel them too.

Of course, this is not a bad thing because it is what makes you human; however, if you have a great past and a good future, would it not be good for you to live in the past and the future a little bit?

Moving forward may be difficult:

Everything that happens in our lives happens for a very specific reason. I moved from San Francisco last week after three wonderful years I spent there in which I met great people, learned some amazing life lessons, grew up to the point that I was able to understand myself and faced some obstacles along the way, but at the end of my stay, I was sad to leave. Most of my feelings were against leaving.

The reality is that I am sensitive, and I was not able to identify what I was sensitive towards, or what emotions I was feeling. As you can see, when we make a change in our life, we push ourselves away from our routine, and since humans need a routine to feel like they are in control to a certain point, when it is time to move to another stage in life, there is a part of us that makes us feel like we are making the wrong decision. We ask ourselves why we should move if things are normal. We are comfortable where we are. Why do we feel upset?

I am a supporter of increasing your life experiences and continuously stepping out of your comfort zone; therefore, adding new things to your life is a good thing in nature; however, sometimes, it seems that moving from the current conditions is wrong.

Living in the past may lead to depression, and when we move, we remember what we leave behind. We are somewhat responsible for feeling depressed due to the course of our life, and we question what we are going to let go of by moving on. You may say to yourself: What if I ruin my friendships? And what if I lose an opportunity if I do not leave?

Your past is your present and future:

What if I miss out on an unlimited amount of opportunities to experience a positive life if I stay where I am? As you can see, when you stay within your comfort zone because you feel safe, you are guaranteed to have no surprises in your future, which is not a bad thing; however, it prevents you from growing and improving. 

Regardless of human nature, I chose to take the difficult step of leaving San Francisco, and I think that my first worry was that I was going to lose the friendships that I left behind. However, the idea is that because I did not leave these friendships behind me, and if you decide to move to another stage in your life, you will not leave your friendships behind you either.

The sadness that you feel when you move forward is a good thing. It means that the experiences that you had were positive, and that your life was better after making that move. It would be worse if you were excited to start a new stage and retreat quickly from the current state because that would mean that it was not a positive experience; therefore, sadness is considered a good thing.

And now, we go back to the idea that moving forward does not mean leaving anything behind. It just means that you are expanding the range of your experiences and relationships that will add to the value of your life. You do not have to let go of anything in your life to have other things. If you have a good friend in your current city, and then you move to another place and meet another good friend in your new city or town, you can keep in touch with both of them.

And just like that, your past is not your past at all, at least the parts that you want to keep. Essentially, your past is your present and future if you want it to be.

Maintaining your relationships:

When you move to a new stage in your life, you may stop going out with your old friends, then you meet up with them and pick up where you left off. You are sure that your past does not stay in the past because you take the positive parts of it with you into the present and set plans to keep them in the future. 

This way, moving forward is the best thing possible because you can choose the things that you want to keep and the things that you want to get rid of forever; The experiences that happened in the past and your living situation, but the relationships that you make stay in your life forever.

I remembered this when I commented on my old roommate’s status on Facebook. I met him in San Francisco and I no longer live there, but I can keep in touch with him. Anyway, there are a lot of friends who live in the same city as you, who you may not meet up with for months at a time, so how is that different from when you move away and visit your friends once every couple of months?

After making contact and rekindling the friendship, you will keep in touch and your friendships will remain because you want them to remain, and you can retreat from the relationships that you no longer want. This way, moving to a new stage in your life is a great way to explore your relationships and maintain healthy ones, just like you deal with your problems.

In conclusion:

I encourage you to move to a new stage in your life with no hesitation. It is way less scary than you think it is, and I think that this was a little scary to me because leaving is difficult especially if you spent so much fun time in that place; however, leaving the next place will be difficult too, but even so, it is still a good thing because it means that you live an influential and valuable life.