How Important is Knowing Your Core Values

You accepted an invitation to speak at the "Think Better, Live Better 2019" workshop in 2019, where the discussed topics are most beneficial to society. As a result, you chose to speak about "deciding what you want to achieve in your life and living it."

Note: This article is taken from the blog of Samantha Brody, in which she tells us about the importance of knowing our core values.

What you want to achieve in life is a mixture of your core values and how you want to feel emotionally and physically. Here's an excerpt from my book Overcoming Overwhelm: Dismantle Your Stress from the Inside Out, which provides why defining your values is essential.

The power of values

Values are: "an individual's opinion of what is important in life." Core values are the values that are most important to us. If the choices we make every day do not correspond to the things we consider important, we will live a life that is not compatible with our values, and this is not only about big choices as to who we will marry.

And where will we live? It's also about the little choices we make every day like what food do we eat? How long do we use social media? What books do we read, and with whom do we communicate? And so on, these little choices make up the totality of our lives.

Some people base their core values exclusively on religious or spiritual beliefs, others build them solely on the norms of society, and some people also form their values according to their moral rules; Our values are a mixture of these things, distributed equally and no one has the same core values as anyone else.

Our core values are not only different from the values of others, but they also differ over time. They can change lightly, change significantly, or may seem different depending on what is going on in our lives. Take, for example, a woman who does not want to have children except when she marries someone who inspires her to be a mother or takes a lawyer who is committed to his work who suddenly gets cancer and decides to travel around the world instead of completing his work.

Changing values is not a sign of weakness; Rather, it is a sign of an open mind and heart. We value and modify our values when we gather new information, when we have new experiences, and when we change and grow as well. That means that we need to re-evaluate our values constantly.

Designing the life, you want

If your health isn't what you want, your energy is what you want, if you don't have peace of mind, and you don't live the life you want, being clear about your core values is the first step to figuring out how to get where you want to go. Examining your thoughts and beliefs and choosing according to your values can help you eliminate burnout and create your desired life.

If you do not examine your thoughts and beliefs, you may face several problems:

1. you may end up living your life according to someone else's rules

You will not choose which will lead you where you want to be.

2. if you have a contradiction between your core values and the choices you make each day

That will have a profound impact on your mood, health, and energy and will increase your fatigue, and this can apply to small things, such as going to bed on time, or big things, such as marrying someone who may seem like a good person but doesn't satisfy your heart's desires.

3. making choices that don't match your values leads to dissonance that your subconscious gradually notices

This dissonance will lead to discomfort, anxiety, depression, and general malaise, which can permeate any decision you make and significantly affect your state of mind and all aspects of your health and well-being.

The stress caused by this dissonance, and the consequent self-critical dialogue, can be critical. It reduces other stressors that exhaust you every day and can be annoying. Your subconscious mind will push you to make choices to relieve discomfort, that is, choices that lead to the release of the hormone Dopamine, such as overeating, eating sugar, shopping aimlessly, or whatever you prefer. Although practicing one of these activities feels good in the present moment, it will ultimately keep you away from the least stressful and most comfortable life.

I'm not saying that making choices that align with your core values will address your health or that you'll never feel overwhelmed. I am not saying that we don't need to compromise in life sometimes, but understanding what your values are is the foundation for understanding what you can and can't give up, what you can and can't control, and what you can and can't do to live a life that aligns with what's important to you. The key is to be aware at every moment of what's important to you, and why you're taking the steps you choose to take.

In conclusion

Here is what professional coaches Marc Chernoff and Angel Chernoff shared in the New York Times: “If you have something that amuses you now but will hurt you one day. It is a distraction that does not align with your values, so do not settle for it, and do not replace what you want with what you want now. Study your habits and rituals, understand where your time and energy are wasted, and eliminate worthless distractions. It is time to focus on what matters.”