Five Myths about Limiting Beliefs

My father did not want me. He left us before I was even born. He never wanted to be a father in the first place. Logically, I know that not everyone wants to be a parent; some people do not have the desire to be a parent, or they think that they are not ready to take on such a huge responsibility, but the child's brain does not process things logically. In my opinion, it all boils down to these four words: My father did not want me.

Note: This article is based on business coach Relinde Moors, who talks about her experience with the concept of limiting beliefs.

Those four words have morphed into something else—the core belief I clung to in my adult years: I'm not good enough to deserve something or someone.

This core belief affected my self-esteem, kept me stuck in toxic cycles and relationships, and prevented me from pursuing my dreams.

I didn't get to know what "limiting beliefs" were and how to turn them into something more positive until I was 20.

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

They are beliefs, worldviews, or states of mind that limit you in some way. They can be about you, other people, or how the world works. They can keep you stuck, making decisions that prevent you from living the life you want. And guess what? Most of us have some form of limited belief. Businesspeople are no exception.

I've spent the past seven years helping entrepreneurs from all types of backgrounds build thriving businesses they love. I've worked with life coaches, publicists, energy healers, trauma healers, designers, dancers, teachers, assistants, writers, real estate agents, and more.

Almost every one of them had to find a solution to limiting beliefs, and those who did not are likely to have already worked with this way of thinking before we worked together.

I also found that there are some myths surrounding the idea of limiting beliefs that make it difficult for some people to get rid of, and that's what I want to reveal today:

Myth No. 1: “It's just stuck thoughts because of repetition.”

Limiting beliefs are fundamental and deeply embedded in your psyche, often during childhood or as a result of some kind of traumatic event (note: a traumatic event can be anything that has a profound negative impact on you). Yes, they can appear in the form of thoughts and "voices" in your head that tell you negative things about yourself that you believe in, but they are more than that.

Limiting beliefs are such a rooted part of you that they are difficult to recognize. For example, psychologist Guy Hendrix speaks of a limiting belief called the "upper limit problem," believing that we are allowed only a certain level of happiness in life, and when we feel that we have reached this threshold, we self-sabotage through things like self-doubt and procrastination.

Limiting beliefs are like poisonous ivy. You can't just cut the vines; you have to get to the roots, and part of that is the realization that basic beliefs are broad and not specific. For example, you might hear yourself say, "I don't know enough about business to do a good job." However, if you go deep enough, you might realize that your real basic belief is that you're not good enough, and I bet once you realize that this is the fundamental belief, you'll see how it affects all areas of your life—not just your work—and then you'll know that you've figured something out.

Myth No. 2: "Simply replace them with positive ideas":

I wish that was true, so life would be much easier, and if limiting beliefs were just thoughts stuck because of the repetition in your mind, then getting rid of them would be as simple as thinking about other thoughts repetitively.

But that's not how it works. I've seen a lot of people give up because their limiting beliefs have not disappeared after two months of repeated positive assertions. Don't get me wrong; I think these things can help, but they are not the answer in themselves. Changing limiting beliefs forever is a process that takes more time and work. It starts by returning to this fundamental belief and reprogramming it first, and then positive assertion can do the work that is supposed to be done.

Myth No. 3: “You can't change it”

Some people think that because limiting beliefs are part of your personality, you can't change them, which is not true.

There is evidence that the brain is flexible and changeable; you can use methods such as hypnotherapy to change the way synapses are secreted, which means you can change the beliefs that have been programmed into your mind. One of the books that covers this is The Brain That Changes Itself (2007) by a doctor of medicine named Norman Doidge.

Myth No. 4: "Changing it takes a lifetime":

I don't hear it very often, but I feel like I have to address it. Some people think that if you have had a limiting belief throughout your life, it can take a long time to get rid of it. I fully believe that changing limiting beliefs forever takes time, and I don't think you should stay stuck with them for years or decades once you decide to do something about them.

Will it take an effort on your part to overcome limiting beliefs and turn them into something that supports you rather than your disability? No, not at all, but for what kind of change does it need no effort?

There are lots of methods and tools you can use to help you change your limiting beliefs, including therapy, hypnotherapy, and energy healing.

Myth No. 5: "The beliefs inherited from family cannot be changed":

Another thing I have come across is the belief that limiting beliefs instilled in you during childhood or by your family are impossible to get rid of, and I think the reason why this is true is because your family knows you better than anyone else, maybe even better than you know about yourself. So if they tell you something about yourself, it must be true.

The truth is that no one can tell you who you are but yourself, and you can choose what you believe.

The other thing I think will affect this myth is fear. We, as human beings, strive to belong and be loved, and we are often the only family members we think are supposed to accept and love us. But there is a fear that if we change the way we believe or act, our family will no longer offer us this sense of belonging, security, and love, and we do not want to.

The thing to remember in these cases is that you can abandon family beliefs that do not serve you while still being loved, safe, and accepted. If the abandonment of toxic or limiting beliefs ends up alienating toxic or limiting people, this is not a bad thing, and in fact, sometimes the idea that you should accept toxic relationships with the family is the limiting belief you need to give up. I trust that this helps you think differently about limiting beliefs and transform the power you have into something that supports your big goals and dreams. What limiting belief is holding you back?