9 Steps to Think the Way You Want

12 سبتمبر 2024

We know that positive thinking is the key to happiness, but how can we achieve this when we are possessed by disturbing negative thoughts? It is easy; only follow health expert Shereen Oberg's nine-step plan.

9 Steps to Think the Way You Want:

1. Learn to see negativity for what it is:

Feelings of anger and discomfort usually accompany negative thoughts we are exposed to from an external influencer, such as traffic, perhaps, or annoying neighbors. However, these are not negative thoughts, but they are on the surface emotions of anger that hide real problems. Unfavorable ideas that we need to deal with are the most accurate ideas. Our deeply ingrained ideas about our lives and how we understand and distinguish ourselves are the ideas that can make us feel helpless and weak or suggest that we are not good enough.

The problem begins in childhood. We have adapted from a very early age to listen and learn from adults, which helps us to maintain our safety, but this also means that we inherit negative belief systems without even realizing it. We expect to be exposed to and absorb the trauma our parents, brothers, family members, and close friends suffer.

These feelings of worthlessness accumulate without us realizing it; we will not be able to overcome them until we learn to get rid of these layers of inherited beliefs to identify the strange ideas we treat ourselves and walk on in our lives.

2. Order of ideas:

All thoughts - negative or positive - fall into one of the following categories:

Thoughts about the past include remembering a person, situation, place, event, or emotion.
Ideas about the future, what we plan to do, or what could happen.
Thoughts about ourselves -what we look like and how we behave.
Thoughts about others - how they compare themselves to us, what they've done to us, and what they think of us.
Thoughts on the reaction to what we see or experience.
Ideas about creativity: ideas and visions.

Take a moment to categorize some of your ideas. Taking some brief notes can be helpful in this case. This ability to classify will be helpful in step four.

3. Identify what your subconscious mind is:

Unconscious negative thoughts usually create a general feeling that, in some way, you are lacking in something or failing. Your conscious mind tells you you have everything you need to be happy and satisfied, yet this unconscious negativity still reminds you to work more, give more, eat less, exercise more, and be a better partner.

The origin of these unconscious thoughts may be that through your childhood, you experienced a lack of love, attention, care, and self-esteem, or they may have been inherited from the adults around you in your formative years.

Whatever their cause, you can change your unconscious thoughts by discovering their truth. The subconscious mind resembles the volume in which we hold the accumulated ideas in our lives. Sometimes, we need these thoughts to help us along the way, but at other times, they must be turned away to make room for something more useful.

4. Do some homework:

Once you accept that your subconscious mind stores inherited negative thoughts, you can start highlighting them, turning them into positive ideas.

Practice the following throughout the day while you're active, in quiet evenings or perhaps before bed. Try to pay attention to whether the thoughts are first of one class or they are different.

Try to learn more about your unconscious thoughts.
When an idea arises, and you are conscious of it, observe this idea and write it down or classify it. Writing down ideas straight helps you to collect and remember them at the end of the day.
As you write down an idea, notice if another underlying idea - perhaps a deeper subconscious thought- is fueling it.
Try to make this practice as natural as possible to begin to sketch out the different types of ideas that arise, whether conscious or not.
Start by detailing your thoughts about five times daily, increasing those times as soon as you feel more comfortable with the practice.
Then move on to the next step, finding the source of the ideas and discovering the origin of their beginning.
Now divide ideas into two categories: influential supporting ideas and weak influential ones.

Try to understand how these unconscious thoughts influence and govern your emotions and actions.

5. Start the transformation by calming your mind:

We can not go beyond our current thoughts and replace them with positive ideas. We must find the stillness inside us and realize all the noise and sounds around us to create a healthy state of mind that strengthens us. This helps us to monitor and control our thoughts better. To make this state of stillness, try the following:

Sit or lie in a quiet place with your palms up.
Close your eyes and relax.
Inhale three deep breaths through your nose and release them through your mouth.
Try to keep your mind still.
Pay attention to your body and start relaxing, from your head to your feet.
Breathe when you're nervous so you feel relaxed and focused.
Try to be aware of what is going on around you.
When an idea arises, notice it, observe it, and eliminate the need to think about it.
Keep your mind calm and return to stillness.
Continue this process for at least ten minutes; each time an idea enters your mind, simply recognize it and then return to stillness.

With practice, you will notice that the emergence of ideas will gradually decrease, and it becomes easy to get rid of them and create a state of calm every time. Like training for a long-distance race, mastering your ideas requires practice, patience, and perseverance.

6. Talk to yourself to get to a better place:

We always overlook how the speech that our minds address affects us, and we tend to collect false ideas about ourselves. This is reflected in our view of things, how we talk, how we behave, or even how we are, and these ideas begin to restrict us, so we try to be something or someone that does not resemble us.

On the other hand, reassurance statements clarify something good inside us and help direct our minds towards more positive thoughts, treating them as tools that help us reframe our minds to strengthen our positive thinking.

Reassurance statements can be simple, contain only one or two words, or can be more complex and consist of complete sentences. The main factor of reassurance statements is that they begin to affect us when we repeat them. The more we provide our minds with positive ideas, the more we feel and act positively, and more positive things happen. These are some tips that help to choose these phrases:

Choose a set of reassurance statements and practice repeating them in the morning when you wake up and at night before going to bed.
Stick to this exercise and allocate time and space for it. It will only take five minutes during daily rituals such as bathing, walking, running, sitting in nature, or anything that may suit you.
Every time you practice, repeat reassurance at least three times to allow positive messages to penetrate your mind. Keep it up for a week.
Choose a different set of reassurance statements for the following weeks, repeat the process, and practice it in the morning, during the day, and in the evening.

After a while, you will notice that instead of negative thoughts, they will turn into positive ideas that come to your mind suddenly, in the same way, that a song can hang in your head. This is a sign of the effect of the reassurance phrase and that it has replaced other negative thoughts. You can also consciously use positive expressions to replace negative thoughts directly as they appear.

7. Visualize what positivity looks like and how you feel:

Ideas can evolve from simple words and internal dialogues to images and fantasies. They are a powerful tool for positive thinking.

To experience the impact of imagining, start by visualizing a positive memory in your life, feel how it affects your body, then imagine something negative that happened and how it affects your emotions and feelings. You can also imagine the positive things you want to create to see how you feel it. In return, imagine something negative or something you are afraid to happen to see how you feel.

The key to creating more positive perceptions is first to find a balance and then start weighing all positive perceptions. This way, we can start focusing on the things we want. This is an effective way to start getting a more positive outlook.

8. The Power of gratitude:

This practice is simple. Think about the matters you're grateful for early in the morning or before bed. This programs your mind to focus on what's beautiful in life and creates more of that beauty.

9. Beware of thoughts that cause you to relapse:

Negative thoughts are usually exacerbated when we start comparing and competing with others. This problem is especially apparent when social media showers us with examples of the perceived perfection of other people's lives. So, when you feel upset by a sense of inferiority, go back to the previous steps.

However, remember the goal is not to ban all negative thoughts or feelings. Still, it is to recognize those thoughts to assimilate them, heal them, and ultimately transform them into positive ideas. After all, our journey in life is not about avoiding our dark thought. Instead, it is about facing them and being able to see the positives through them.

Express Your Positive Thoughts:

Reassurance statements have the potential to change your thinking. Choose a group from the list below, and practice them daily.

Phrases to overcome fears:

I'm safe.
I fixate.
I am strong.
I'm a realist.
I'm protected.

Phrases for Self-Love:

I'm loved.
I'm beloved.
I am worthwhile and qualified.
I'm just as good as I am.

Phrases for recovery and health:

I am healthy.
I am strong.
I'm vital.
I've got backup.

Phrases for Empowerment:

I am strong.
I'm fine.
I'm all energy.
I've got control.
I'm ambidextrous.

Words for Love:

I'm constantly surrounded by love.
I'm always loved.
I am worthy of love.
I'm attracted to love.