4 Steps to Think About Before Seeking Advice

People love to give and receive advice from others all the time, which is a good thing because no one in this world has answers for everything.

Note: This article is by Darius Foroux, who discusses the most important steps to remember when seeking advice from others.

Although most people have good intentions, their advice may sometimes cause harmful and opposite results, especially when you seek advice from many people, and each tells you something different. As a result, you will only get confused and lost.

You may find that, for example, some people will look at universities as something pointless, while another tells you that they are essential for human development.

So, if you think about whether or not to go to university, this kind of piece of advice will only confuse you. This applies to most aspects of life. So, there are several things to remember and consider when asking for advice from others.

Things to consider before seeking advice

1. People defend their own beliefs

People are very biased, and I am surprised how many people do not realize this when they ask others for objective and unbiased advice because there is no fair and unbiased advice.

For example, people think that hard work harms health, but I recommend it because it is a meaningful and essential thing that adds meaning to your life.

Likewise, when you ask me about getting a traditional job, I will answer that it is an inevitable death that destroys your physical and spiritual strength. After that, I want you to ask your parents what they think about this, and they will probably say that I am wrong and that you should have a traditional job because that's what seems normal and true according to them.

So, everyone perceives the world from their perspective and gives advice according to their point of view and experience when I read or listen to other people's advice. In other words, what's right for someone isn’t necessarily right for you too.

So, when you are being criticized by someone about your decisions, work, or personality in general, you have to look at that as an opinion and not as a fact. The stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius summed it up best: "All we hear are opinions, not facts, and all we see is a point of view, not the truth."

2. Never make decisions based on the advice of just one person

Suppose you must make a critical decision about work or your personal life. Then, you made that decision after taking only one person's advice. It is common for us to seek advice from one person only, and we often ask for advice from the same people every time, and I too did this in the past.

However, you should think twice before doing it again because consulting the same people always limits your perspective on life, and it is like looking at something from one side only. Ask people who are different from each other to get a comprehensive view that takes all aspects.

3. Never adopt a hypothesis before making sure it is true

It's one of the most important lessons I've learned about making decisions. We often make our final decision. Then, we try to find the reasons and arguments that support this decision, which is called confirmation bias, which most scientific researchers also suffer from. As professors come out with a hypothesis, and then they do their best to find support for their beliefs.

There are a few reasons behind our behavior. The first is that we hate to be wrong, and the second is our obsession with always being right. The bottom line here is that you can't trust your mind, as the British writer Clive Staples Lewis says, "If you seek the truth, you may find comfort and tranquility in the end. However, you will not get it or the truth if you seek comfort. Instead, you will only get wishes, after which you will end up disappointed and frustrated."

4. Avoid asking the wrong people

We should be careful about the person whose advice we ask, and here you have to ask yourself if someone can advise us about something if they never do it themselves. For example, I have come across many people talking about success, productivity, health, and other things in my field. But if you look closely at their lives, you will find that they achieved none of those things at all.

That is a good problem. In addition to the above, these people advise that they do not follow in their personal lives, such as those who talk about perseverance, but they don't work hard, as you can’t call that but madness or stupidity.

I need help finding me talking, for example, about how to make billions or about how rich people think. I have no knowledge or experience in this field. I'm not a billionaire, and reading about this will only get you up to a point, while if you've worked closely with a rich man for a longer period, things will change.

In conclusion

I would like you to know that you are the person responsible for your life, and others may give you advice. Still, you are the one who will bear the consequences of your actions and behavior, and that is why you should take the advice of others with some reservation and suspicion.

This even applies to my advice, as you're the only person who knows yourself best. For this, listen to the advice of others, but make your own decisions.