3 Reasons Why Making Promises Is More Important Than Setting Goals

Similar to New Year's resolutions, goals are rarely achieved despite frequently being made with determination.

Note: This article is by author and entrepreneur Greg'S Reid and talks about the best way to set, work on, and succeed at your goals.

My friend, the entrepreneur Bill Bartmann, author of Bailout Riches and once dubbed the "billionaire that nobody knows" by Inc. magazine,  will give you some excellent advice on how to trick your mind into consistently achieving your goals if you are having trouble reaching them. This advice is to stop thinking about your goals or framing them as things that must be accomplished. In our societies, most people characterize their goals as lofty and noble aspirations or as things they work hard and relentlessly toward and struggle to achieve. These descriptions may suggest that reaching your goal will be difficult, but you can use them if you don't overstate your concerns.

This goal's description implies that it is elusive. Your wording implies something subtle, like there's an equal chance of not reaching the goal or achieving it. This frequently offers a justification for embracing failure. So, the "goal's" common definition predisposes you to failure.

Here's what actually happens: You start pursuing a goal with great enthusiasm, even though you know it's unlikely to be achieved based on your deeply held beliefs about the term. Regretfully, allowing the possibility that you may fall short of your goals undermines your best efforts. It makes it harder for you to achieve what you consider nearly impossible. The worst part is that, even if you succeed in 90% or more of your goals, you will still think poorly of yourself in the other 10% of situations.

Now, if you say your goal success rate is roughly equal to the preceding percentage—even if it's slightly lower—you're already an exceptional and extraordinary individual. Actually, you should be helping me write best-selling books, not reading this article. Even if your success rate is more realistic, around 60-70%, meaning you fail to reach your goals in 30-40% of cases, it's not reasonable to have unwavering confidence in the success or the ability to exert significant effort when attempting something you've previously failed at 30-40% of the time.

3 Reasons Why Making Promises Is More Important Than Setting Goals

So, I think your promise fulfillment rate exceeds your achieving goals rate. This is so because your overall value system, general behavioral guidelines, ethical principles, and beliefs all govern your promises. Even on a subconscious or unconscious level, this moral system makes respecting and fulfilling promises much more important than your goals within your mind. There are three very different reasons for this:

1. Emotional Attachment to Promises

Making a promise generates a deeper sense of responsibility toward the person you’ve promised—whether it’s yourself or someone else. This emotional connection creates a strong bond within you.

Emotions come into play when you break a promise, forming a compelling emotional link that compels you to follow through. Consequently, your mind immediately prioritizes fulfilling that promise, and you channel all your faculties, feelings, and energy toward achieving it.

2. A Proven Record of Fulfilling Promises

Our minds recognize that we have an extensive track record of success when it comes to fulfilling promises. Historically, we’ve achieved an exceptionally high success rate—approaching 100% in many instances—which drives us to maintain this achievement level.

Because of this historical background, your subconscious believes that you can and will keep any promise you make. Because it knows you can keep your word, your mind becomes preconditioned for success rather than being predisposed to failure based on past performance.

Your previous accomplishments in keeping your promises evoke good emotions and a satisfying emotional connection. This results from what you felt when you followed through on those commitments. The human mind records the emotions and feelings that arise in those moments, preserving them as positive and gratifying emotional responses. This motivates you to try to honor your promises to regain your sense of fulfillment and self-worth.

3. Your Promises Motivate Your Subconscious Mind to Set You Up for Success

When you limit your achievements by goal-setting, you transform your subconscious mind into an overprotective parent that discourages risk-taking and prevents you from venturing into the unknown, fearing failure. In reality, your subconscious mind undermines your aspirations by persuading you that you have no time for idealistic or lofty dreams, making it acceptable to disregard and forget about them completely.

However, the opposite happens when you make a promise. Your subconscious mind becomes a supportive parent who clears the path and encourages achievement instead of an overprotective parent who tries to dissuade you from pursuing your goals. To understand this better, consider the difference between setting a goal to quit smoking and promising a loved one that you'll do it permanently.

If you set yourself the smoke-quitting goal, you're the only one who will face consequences if you fail. However, if you promise a loved one that you'll quit smoking and then later break that promise, you'll probably feel ashamed or afraid to tell them you didn't keep your word.

This is because of the emotional response associated with breaking a promise, which includes shame, embarrassment, disappointment, and frustration. Therefore, your subconscious mind tries hard to prevent this emotional suffering or feeling of failure. Its sole and exclusive purpose is self-preservation or the survival instinct.

Your subconscious mind will help you keep your promises because it is precisely motivated by the need and desire for self-preservation and self-defense, much like a supportive parent would. As you approach keeping your promises and put effort into it, the part of you that fears you will die if you don't live up to it will feel comforted and at ease.

In Conclusion

You can significantly increase your chances of success by changing your mindset about achieving your goals. Even after being qualified by reading this article, much work and effort is still required. Most importantly, you now have an easy way to get your subconscious mind to work in your favor rather than undermining and squandering your efforts.