10 Social Intelligence Skills You Need to Master

Social intelligence or intelligent interaction with others (PQ) is about one's ability to deal with social situations and understand verbal and non-verbal communication. Those with a high level of social intelligence are skilled at teaching and leading others.

There is a misconception that people who are good at dealing with others have naturally acquired this skill. Still, the truth is social intelligence can be developed, like any other type of intelligence, so here are ten social intelligence skills you can master.

What is social intelligence?

People with a high level of social intelligence are good at dealing with social interactions, are innate leaders, can understand other people's emotions and interpret both verbal and non-verbal cues, make friends quickly, and learn by participating in discussions and dialogues.

Most people with high social intelligence are very friendly, and their heart is open to everyone. Social intelligence is the counterpart of mental intelligence (IQ) or what is known as academic intelligence.

What is the difference between social intelligence (PQ) and emotional intelligence (EQ)?

Emotional intelligence means one's ability to identify and manage one's emotions and to understand the feelings of others around them. However, social intelligence refers to understanding various perspectives, effective verbal and non-verbal communication, and good team leadership. Emotional intelligence falls under social intelligence and enhances it.

Most people with high emotional intelligence also have a combination of the following:

• Social intelligence.
• Self-intelligence (or self-awareness).
• Adaptability.
• Stress management.
• A positive outlook on life.

The Lord has blessed some people with characteristics associated with social intelligence, such as leadership and the ability to talk, negotiate, and empathize more than others. However, there are steps one can take to develop social intelligence.

Who is Howard Gardner?

In 1983, Harvard psychologist and professor Howard Gardner published Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, which critically impacted our view of intelligence. While intelligence was previously limited to mental intelligence - the ability to think logically and solve problems - Gardner's theory provided nine additional types of intelligence.

The nine types of intelligence provided by Gardner:

1. Musical intelligence:

Identifying sounds and rhythms.

2. Spatial Intelligence:

Perceiving and being aware of one's surroundings.

3. Linguistic Intelligence:

Using words effectively.

4. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence:

Conceptual and abstract thinking.

5. Social Intelligence or Interpersonal Intelligence:

Understanding others and interacting with them effectively.

6. Intrapersonal Intelligence:

Understanding one's deepest emotions.

7. Kinesthetic intelligence:

The effective use of the body.

8. Existential intelligence:

Reflecting on the meaning of life and human development.

9. Naturalistic Intelligence:

Possessing a unique knowledge of plants and nature.

Each individual enjoys varying proportions of each type of intelligence, and each person outperforms the others in a particular kind of intelligence. Still, one can develop and enhance all these types of intelligence.

10 Social Intelligence Skills You Need to Master:

Social intelligence is a precious skill to have. We often have to work with others to achieve our goals, so look at these ten social intelligence skills:

1. Encourage others with heartfelt encouragement:

Encourage your employees sincerely by getting to know them and giving appropriate praise to each of them. When people feel that you notice and appreciate their efforts, they will generally be happier at work and produce better work. Research shows that receiving praise activates the same part of the brain that makes us rejoice when receiving rewards.

When you want to compliment someone, look into their eyes and talk to them honestly, showing them joy and warmth, and try not to overthink it. When you say something you mean honestly, you will speak in a sincere tone naturally; you will master it through training. So, praise a friend or colleague at work the next time you notice something you appreciate.

Try to limit the compliments you give. For example, instead of telling your co-worker that they gave a good presentation, think about a unique aspect of the presentation you enjoyed, such as saying, “You did a good job with your presentation today. I liked your presence and good talk,” or “You were special in the meeting. I liked how you mentioned researching the topic smoothly, and I think you added a great visual element to your presentation through the slides.”

2. Creating meaningful relationships:

Anne Sullivan, the American teacher who accompanied author and activist Helen Keller, is an amazing example of someone who used their ability to create meaningful relationships to impact the world. Helen became blind and deaf when she was 19 months old due to an illness, and then became an activist for the rights of people with special needs, author, and lecturer. But nothing that Helen achieved would have been possible without the help of her teacher Anne Sullivan. When she started teaching her, Helen was seven years old. She was blind and deaf, and her behavior was reckless and inappropriate because the world was strange and frightening to her, and she did not understand it.

Anne, who was almost blind, did not receive formal education training. Still, she took on the impossible task of helping Helen. She began to establish a close relationship with her and gain her confidence. She taught her sign language very patiently by placing her hand over Helen's hand while using sign language so that she could feel the movement of her hands and understand what she was saying.

It took a long time for Helen to realize that these movements had meaning. Still, Anne continued to work with her until the day Helen succeeded in absorbing what she was learning. Since then, Helen has learned quickly and can communicate with the world around her and others in a way she could not do before.

It can be easy to fall short on relationships that mean a lot to us. Still, we have to stop doing that, so think about the three most essential people in your life, whether you underestimate them, or you can be kinder to them, or whether you can improve your relationship with them, and then take some time to strengthen those relationships.

Some ideas on how to do this:

• Asking purposeful questions can help you get to know them better - you might be surprised by their stories of the past or their dreams, which you didn't know before.
• Enroll in a week-long course with a friend, whether related to pottery making, dancing, or cooking, which will ensure you see them at least once a week.
• Go on a weekend trip with your partner.
• Call your parents while driving to work in the morning to check on how they are doing.

3. Promoting peace:

Those with a high social intelligence standard are usually adept at resolving differences. They can understand different perspectives and inspire people to work together to achieve a common goal. Mahatma Gandhi was a lawyer and activist who led nonviolent resistance against British colonial rule in India. Throughout his leadership of nonviolent civil disobedience, he was imprisoned several times, but he continued to inspire his supporters as they worked their way out of British rule.

His peaceful protest, which has become an example, has inspired civil rights movements worldwide. Gandhi shows us that his path to the goal is as essential as the goal itself. Through Gandhi's peaceful resistance, he has influenced future generations around the world, along with the possibility of liberating his country from British colonial rule.

“I have so many things to do today that I have to meditate for two hours instead of one,” Gandhi says.

Research has shown that practicing mindfulness can help reduce stress and increase safety. You must experience peace for yourself and help others achieve peace.

Ways to make peace with those around you:

• Help your friend get rid of the mess around them. Researchers have found that people who live in a place they describe as “ chaotic” have increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol. By helping someone get rid of the mess and organize their things, you can give them a chance to live more peacefully.
• Offer to help resolve a disagreement between two loved ones if you notice that the argument has flared up between them. Some useful phrases when dealing with disputes are: "Tell me more, I want to understand the reason for the disagreement," or "Tell me if I misunderstood you, but are you frustrated because of this and this?" Or "I don't think the second party is finished talking, can you put this idea after it is over, please?"
• Try to be a safe shelter for your loved one, so they can express what frustrates them. When they are done venting their anger, ask them how they want to change the situation to improve and encourage them to work to make the change.

4. Inspire change through your words:

When you watch videos of African-American leader Martin Luther King, Jr., talking to a crowd, you can feel the energy and enthusiasm running through your body as people understand his dream of eliminating racism, trust him, and become their inspiration, which is one of the components of social intelligence.

Everyone has a sphere of influence, so let your words about change inspire others through your sphere of influence. You can do this through your social media accounts or talk personally with friends, co-workers, and family.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “I have seen the Promised Land. I may not reach it with you, but I want you to know tonight that we will reach the Promised Land of one people.”

Gather some friends together, create a group with them to discuss some things, and before the meeting, identify with them the topic that you will discuss, research this topic, and write the ideas that come to your mind, then think about the various views associated with this topic, and search for research and convincing evidence to support your point of view.

When it's time to meet, practice listening to others using logical ideas and speaking that points to the research you've found.

5. Observing signs and signals:

When we get to know Detective Sherlock Holmes for the first time, we see him from the point of view of his close friend and assistant, John Watson, who describes him as brilliant and eccentric. John is surprised that Sherlock can know a lot about him within moments of meeting each other. Sherlock knew nothing about John at their first meeting except what he concluded from the signs and details.

So, pay attention to the details. You can know a lot about people through them, learn some signals, and then try to recognize the non-verbal gestures used by people around you, which will help you learn to pay attention to all the details, from facial expressions to body language to the tone of voice to enhance communication with others.

6. Negotiation mastery:

American entrepreneur and investor Mark Cuban bought the Dallas Mavericks NBA basketball franchise in January 2000, and it looked like a bad buy. It might have been disastrous if Mark wasn't so good at negotiating.

We see in his sale offer, and when analyzing the reason for his success, that one of the best things he did when calling the other party was to show that he understood who he was and could anticipate his fears. Instead of making an empty promise, such as “If you come to the game, Mavericks will certainly win,” he decided to appeal to their desire to create meaningful memories with their children and presented the tickets to the annual basketball game as an inexpensive way to achieve this.

“We create very special experiences,” says Mark Cuban. “I can't guarantee our team will win or lose, but I can guarantee that when you look at your son or daughter's face, you'll be thrilled, and you will know you can not get this experience anywhere else, and all of this is by purchasing a ticket for only $8.”

Negotiation may sometimes have a bad reputation because we associate it with manipulation, but mastery negotiation is not. Yet, the unique negotiator anticipates and solves people's problems, making it a feature of high social intelligence. These people are adept at understanding what persuades others and helping them meet their needs.

Train yourself to discover why people want what they want by starting with yourself. Next time you want to order dinner from the outside, ask yourself why. Is it because you don't want to make dinner yourself? Or  because you like a particular dish, they only prepare it at the restaurant you ordered from? Or  maybe you'd like to support the delivery person with a generous tip?

It's not about judging people's motivations but understanding them, so upgrade your negotiation skills by understanding the reasons behind the decisions.

7. Creating empathy-based relationships:

Avoiding judging others by putting ourselves in their shoes helps us understand that we practice empathy when we take time to imagine what the other person is facing. Empathy-based communication is the ability to understand the emotions of the person you are talking to, which helps you better understand their motivations and personality.

American product designer Patricia Moore uses empathy to bridge the generational gap in product design and advocate for the rights of older people. In the late 1970s, Patricia experimented, literally putting herself in the shoes of a class of people.

Although she was only 26 years old at the time, she disguised herself as an 85-year-old woman for three years, visited most cities across the United States wearing hazy glasses to impair her eyesight, uneven shoes to delude others that she had a limp, and put bandages and splints on her hands to simulate her arthritis, helping her understand older people and design products to make their lives easier.

Try to imagine what another person might go through. For example, if a friend is feeling disappointed or sad, think about why they're experiencing those feelings. They might be having a hard time at work or might be confused and overwhelmed by a change in their life. So, if you have a hard time understanding why they're feeling sad or disappointed, try asking: “I'm sorry you're having a hard day. Can you help me understand what's going on so I can share your sadness?”

8. Organizing groups:

People who are good at organizing groups and pushing them to work together to achieve a common goal have strong social skills. For example, offer your friend to organize their graduation party or birthday party or invite some friends to watch a movie together, and then ask everyone to help you arrange the event, allowing you to practice delegating and directing tasks. Ask your assistants what they want to work on. It is because people achieve a great job in something they enjoy and because the event you organize is fun, so it will be easier to involve people in it and excite them.

9. Caring for others:

American talk show host Oprah Winfrey used her success to help others. the Oprah Winfrey Show ran for 25 years, interviewing people in a way that made them feel cared for and honest. One way she did this was by asking follow-up questions that kept the conversation going, allowing guests to respond in greater depth.

For example, in her interview with American singer Mariah Carey about her experience growing up in a mixed-race family, she feels that Oprah is very interested in Maria and listens to her completely because she refers to information that Maria has already shared with her through follow-up questions.

Oprah has also shown an interest in people through her philanthropy. She created the Oprah Winfrey Foundation, whose mission is to “lead, educate, elevate, inspire, and empower women and children worldwide.

Do something nice for someone you know and love:

Here are some ideas for that:

• Ask your friend if you can bring their favorite coffee in the morning.
• Plan a fun date with your partner.
• Mow the lawn in your neighbor's garden.

10. Encouraging people to treat themselves well:

Not everyone is good at taking care of themselves, so you need to remind them that depending on people's personalities and backgrounds. It can be challenging to identify their specific needs.

Remind your loved one that they deserve to be physically, psychologically, and emotionally healthy. When they meet their needs, they can support and love others better.

Some ways to Encouraging people to treat themselves well:

• Encourage your loved ones to take a vacation.
• Reassure them that you're not angry when they don't answer your messages right away - setting limits on technology is healthy, and spending time without technology can boost your activity.
• Always ask your loved one if they are okay to make sure that you care about them and that their emotions are not a burden to you.