Why Do We Struggle to Recognize Our Strengths and Weaknesses?

When you heard this question, did you feel overwhelmed by those unsettling and puzzling feelings? What does it mean? What qualities fall under the category of strengths? Why do they go by that name? Is it that you're particularly good at certain skills or abilities? Or because you perform things differently than most people do? Who judges what defines strength and weakness? What standards are used to make the decision?

Note: This article is taken from Denise Hill's blog, where we talked about her experience in identifying strengths and weaknesses.

Knowing the answers to these questions might be tricky, especially in job interviews. But as someone taking a neutral stance on these questions, allow me to offer a little insight and advice on how to approach this puzzling question.

Anything that saps your energy, no matter how brilliant you are at it, can be regarded as a weakness.

Understanding your strengths and weaknesses is critical for your success in every aspect of life, not just the job interview.

Author of "Go Put Your Strengths To Work," Marcus Buckingham offers one of the most precise and straightforward definitions of strength and weakness. It's not about what you excel at or how you overcome the challenges you face. According to him, "A better definition of strength is an activity that makes you feel strong. A weakness is an activity that makes you feel weak. Even if you're good at it, if it drains you, that's a weakness."

I used to think highly of my interpersonal skills, but I eventually concluded that they weren't my strongest suit.

Here's a personal example: I'm good at dealing with people because I'm understanding, sympathetic, compassionate, supportive, and mindful of their feelings. I'm great at inspiring others to give their best, defusing tight circumstances, and giving others a sense of validation and appreciation.

Since I study psychology and human communication, I have worked hard to achieve that by exploring human nature. Within moments of meeting someone, I can tell what their mood is and adjust to handle their emotional state properly.

In the past, I would put my skill set as part of my strengths during interviews, but after giving this "gift" a careful look, I realised that it wasn't an asset for me. The truth is, people irk me, and human interaction often feels like navigating a minefield.

I prefer being alone or with my husband rather than with others; I'm not naturally outgoing, and I'm not inherently social. I have to calculate my moves and think before I speak. I'm socially awkward, naturally shy, and somewhat introverted. My interpersonal skills are cultivated, not innate.

Guidelines when you're assessing your strengths and weaknesses

1. Avoid comparison when assessing your strengths and weaknesses

Even if you're better than others at something, it could still be a weakness.

Your strengths and weaknesses are unique to you. Comparing yourself to others distorts your perception of your assets and weaknesses, so stop comparing yourself to others. Believe in your abilities and unique qualities.

2. Don't waste time bridging the gaps that don't align with your life goals

In the same way that I improved my communication approach, you can work around your weaknesses. However, they won't necessarily turn into strength.

Once you've identified your weaknesses, you can overcome them in one of two ways:

• Firstly, work on improving yourself regarding your weaknesses and minimising your shortcomings.
• Second, play to your strengths and figure out how to use them to offset your weaknesses. When it comes to your weak points, flexibility is essential.

Working on improving your weaknesses that don't help you reach your goals in life is a waste of time. For instance, I'm terrible at gardening. Plants wither and die under my care, and while I could learn how to take care of them and develop this skill if I wanted to, it wouldn't change my destiny or success. Instead of spending time on things that don't really matter to me, I put all of my efforts into things that help me achieve my goals in life.

3. Consider the broader context when assessing your strengths and weaknesses

Most of us make this typical mistake. For instance, being introverted or extroverted can be seen as both positive and negative traits, depending on the situation.

As a writer working in an office with other writers, being introverted is a strength for me; in this context, I don't have to be overly talkative. If I am, this could compromise my performance and stress me out.

However, before becoming a writer, I was a teacher, and teaching required me to be outgoing and friendly. In that context, introversion was a weakness for me, and I had to invest time and effort to deal with issues and acquire the necessary traits for success.

4. Avoid using generic terms to describe your strengths and weaknesses, or you'll lose focus

Another mistake we make is mislabeling or overgeneralising our strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you're not talkative, you might tend to classify yourself as weak in communication, which is entirely inaccurate.

For example, if you're not talkative, you might tend to classify yourself as weak in communication, which is entirely inaccurate. Being talkative doesn't necessarily mean you're good at communicating; quality beats quantity.

Identify the areas you excel in and those you consider weaknesses, then decide whether they're truly strengths or weaknesses.

One last thing

When assessing your strengths and weaknesses:

• Find out what motivates you and what holds you back.
• Think about your inherent skills.
• Set goals and observe how your strengths contribute to your progress or how your weaknesses hold you back.
• Plan how you'll overcome your weaknesses or make up for them with your strengths.
• Don't label your neutral qualities as "good" or "bad."
• Always strive to build up your strengths since weaknesses are made worse by imperfections.

It's important to be honest with yourself while assessing your strengths and weaknesses, including your skills and innate tendencies, accepting who you are, and realising your potential. It's the only way to take control of your future and realise your full potential.