What Do Mentally Strong People Do When Life Takes Them by Surprise?

Surprisingly, as we grow up rejecting things we thought we couldn't live without, then wanting things we didn't even know we wanted, life continues to lead us in directions we would never have taken if it were up to us. Don't be afraid, have faith, and trust that everything will be alright. Don't let your expectations of what life should be blind you from the beauty of the life you live.

Of course, if you are having a hard time having faith and living up to your expectations, know that you are not the only one. Most people face this problem as well and work hard to let go of their expectations, live in the present, accept it, and redirect their focus to the right things.

Imagine you have a ripe orange that you eagerly peel and take a bite. You already know the taste of a ripe orange. But then when that orange is a little more sour than expected, you will be disappointed and you will swallow it feeling denied from the experience you expected. Maybe the taste of the orange is completely normal with nothing special at all, then you can swallow it without stopping to appreciate its taste and move on to the next regular bite.

In the first scenario, the orange disappointed you because it did not meet your expectations. In the second one, it was very ordinary because it met your expectations exactly.

Do you notice the paradox? Either the orange is not tasty or it is not tasty enough. And so most of us live our lives unhappy, that's why we get frustrated, disappointed, and lack enthusiasm about nearly everything. That is because nothing really meets our expectations.

Now imagine the following: Get rid of your expectations regarding the taste of an orange. Imagine that you do not know and do not expect the taste of an orange because you have never tasted it. Instead, you are really curious, unbiased, and open to the variety of possible flavors. You taste the orange and you really pay attention. You'll notice the juiciness, the texture of the pulp, the sweet and savory flavors in your mouth, and all the other complex sensations you get when you chew.

You didn't know what this orange would taste like. However, now you realize that it is different from the rest, and it is wonderful in itself. Then the experience will be completely new and worthwhile because you have never tasted this orange before. This is the result of thinking without expectations.

Of course, any event, situation, relationship, person, or idea in your life that comes to your mind can be replaced by the orange. If you treat any of these things with expectations of how it should be, you will always be disappointed, or they will be too ordinary and unexciting and not worth remembering. Then you will move on to the next disappointment or the next boring life experience until you live most of your life stuck in an endless loop of experiences you don't like or hardly notice. 

A stronger mental way of thinking and living life:

What troubles people the most are false expectations. In fact, most of what we describe as one of our biggest problems is a direct result of how we interact with life on a daily basis. Of course, we sometimes face great tragedies that we must endure. But most of the time, the only real tragedy is the weakness of our thinking and the resulting behavior about it at the moment.

The key is to exercise your mental strength which is your inner flexibility, which is not a skill we have at birth. You can even develop it through daily practice. It is not easy, but the result is worth the effort.

It all starts with accepting and fully focusing on the present moment. Even when conditions are relatively good, one of the most difficult challenges we face in life is simply to live in the present moment. Regardless of our situation, oftentimes we distract ourselves with anything that doesn't make sense like food shopping, television, news, social networks, video games, smartphones, etc. That is, we are always doing something that prevents us from fully focusing on the present.

We tend to escape from ourselves and from living in the present to work, exercise, or other things. In fact, most of us will go to great lengths to avoid being alone in an environment without distractions. So, we agree to be with almost anyone to avoid feeling isolated. That is because being alone forces us to process our true feelings of fear, anxiety, uncertainty, frustration, envy, disappointment, etc. Then when faced with tough times, things get out of control.

On the other hand, mentally strong people understand that finding peace and happiness in life does not mean that they live a life free of noise, challenges, and hard work. It means being in the middle of it all while keeping your focus in your mind and calm in your heart.

It is about letting go of your expectations of how things were supposed to be and facing the challenges of the present moment with presence and poise. So, start the day by noticing what is going on around you with curiosity and without judgment. Stop avoiding living in the present. Face your current problems, then focus on how you really feel. Don't distract yourself with anything. Instead, try to become aware of how you feel and then accept and welcome it. Smile and give your feelings full attention.

• Notice how you feel physically. Where does the feeling come from? What are its distinguishing characteristics?
• Also notice the tension that this feeling causes in your body and in your mind.

Try to relax the tensed parts of your body, then relax mentally. Do this by focusing on your breath. Close your eyes, inhale, and feel the air inside, then release it. Repeat the exercise until you feel more relaxed.

In this state of relaxation, find a quiet space in your mind, then:

• Allow yourself to rediscover the positive side within you that exists in every moment.
• Allow yourself to rediscover the essential benefits of this very moment that is always available to you whenever you want to focus on it.
• Enjoy the inner peace that these simple discoveries leave behind.

This is the practice of de-stressing and accepting the moment as it is and accepting yourself as you are. You can apply it anytime and wherever you are. You can practice focusing on the positive in others as well, in your challenges, your relationships, and your work. Even when things don't go quite as planned, you can form healthy daily habits to reduce unnecessary stress in your life and rediscover the peace, joy, and love within you when you always focus on them.

In conclusion:

Don't waste more time waiting for better times in the future. Appreciate who you are now and that you have come a long way and you are still learning and growing. Be grateful for the lessons you have learned and take advantage of them to live the best life now.