What Can Introverts and Extroverts Learn From Each Other?

A year before the pandemic changed our lives, a friend sent me a link to a survey based on academic research that evaluated personality traits on a numerical scale.

Note: This article is taken from blogger Arthur C. Brooks, in which he talks to us about his personal experience with introversion and extroversion.

This survey was interested in knowing how open one is, so he sent it to me to confirm whether the test was accurate because he knew that I am one of the most extroverted people, and the results showed that my friend got 15%, while I got 96%.

“You're lucky. Extroverts are happier than others,” my friend said. He was right about that. Many researches have shown that extroverts enjoy great happiness more than introverts, and they confirm that they have good health and many moments of joy.

However, the coronavirus pandemic crisis has affected extroverts. Research published in March in the scientific journal PLOS One studied the impact of the pandemic on people of all qualities and found that the mood of extroverts has become bad while the introverts' mood has improved. My friend jokingly and seriously said this: "Why don't we stay locked up forever?"

In normal times, introverts are underappreciated, uncomfortable, and feel like they don't belong where they are. One of the side effects of the coronavirus lockdown is that the world has become empty, at least for a short time, giving introverts a chance to feel comfortable.

But the temporary change led to an experiment in the social sciences field on how introverts and extroverts can learn from each other. If we take lessons seriously, we can all benefit from them.

Psychologists believe that extroversion is one of the five essential personal qualities, along with harmony, frankness, conscience, and neuroticism. These five qualities have been a core element in psychology since the 1980s. The idea of introversion and extroversion was first spread in 1921 by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, who assumed that the two types have different goals in life. He believed introverts seek independence, while extroverts seek to interact with others and build relationships. These stereotypes have continued to this day.

In the 1960s, psychologist Hans Eysenck advanced Young's theory, contending that our genes determine our level of extroversion. He believed that stimulating the cortex - which means the level of brain alertness - was more difficult for extroverts than for introverts. Therefore, extroverts are stimulated by the presence of others, specifically engaging in new relationships. Subsequent research showed different results about Eysenck's theory. Still, it found pure cognitive differences between the two types.

One common explanation for the different levels of happiness among introverts and extroverts comes from the stereotypes of Young and Eisenick that humans are inherently social, so communication with others achieves a sense of joy, as extroverts seek communication, which is why they are happier. The fact that introverts prefer solitude and often have difficulty socializing does not mean avoiding communication makes them happier; it means they favor something that makes them unhappy. And there's nothing strange here; it is more like a preference for unhealthy foods.

There are also additional cultural explanations for the disparity in happiness. For example, extroverts are highly rewarded, gain strength, make more money than introverts, and receive other benefits in the workplace, such as promotions to leadership positions and high-performance ratings.

Some people resent these patterns and believe that they show a lack of cultural depth, as writer Susan Cain talks about in her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking about the many developments that introverts have achieved, from discovering the theory of gravity to creating Google, and argues that showing admiration and rewarding extroverts is not only unfair but also hinders progress. Also, if you are ever disappointed with the habit of raising the level of selfish and charismatic leaders, you may have to admit that Cain was right.

Two lessons that introverts and extroverts can benefit from

Every species, introverted or extroverted, can benefit from learning a lesson to enhance their health. Here are two lessons that introverts and extroverts can benefit from:

1. Introverts should focus more on the future, as extroverts do

In 2001, a group of Oxford University scientists divided a sample of survey respondents into four groups: happy extroverts, unhappy extroverts, happy introverts, and unhappy introverts. Predictably, the number of happy socialites exceeded the number of happy introverts by about one or two. Still, researchers were more interested in why a happy introvert is healthy.

They also found the same characteristics among the two happy groups: optimism, a sense of purpose in life, and self-esteem. Extroverts like to talk to others about their future, dreams, and the purpose of their lives. Psychologists have long explained that we tend to achieve the things we tell others. Therefore, the extroverts' habit of telling each person they meet their goals makes them more likely to achieve them, thus feeling happy.

Happy introverts have found a way to envision the future without sharing their stuff with others. They tend to form one-sided friendships (a friendship in which one party cares more than the other) instead, where they can share their dreams with them whenever they want.

2. Extroverts should work to make deep friendships, which introverts tend to gain more of

Deep friendships are not only good for sharing your dreams; They are a clear and direct cause of happiness. Making close friends with people you have nothing to gain from is a critical source of satisfaction. But doing so is not easy, especially for extroverts, because they love crowds and audiences, connecting with new people, and feeling excited.

The coronavirus pandemic crisis has left extroverts in a state of social withdrawal, which explains why their happiness rate is now low, in addition to providing them with an opportunity to form more real friendships, such as introverts. Although extroverts are not inclined to make real friendships, research shows that they tend to make a lot of shallow relations with other extroverts, and they think this is better for happiness. Extroverts must set a goal for the next few weeks and months to deepen at least one friendship before life returns to normalcy.

If they don't know how to do it, all they have to do is watch a happy introvert do it. For example, I am an extrovert, while my 18-year-old daughter is an introvert, and she talks to her best friend for an hour or two every day, so find the closest introverts around you and act like them.

One important lesson you can learn from the above, aside from the specifics of introversion and openness, is that observing people who are different from you and learning from them is a great way to learn to be happier.  The love of human diversity is critical to help yourself stay healthy and safe.

Surrounding ourselves with people like us won't inspire new ideas for feeling good about our lives. To live a happy life, we must have extroverted and introverted people around us.