Things that Make Your Life Harder than It Needs to Be

Imagine having a fresh, ripe and juicy apple in front of you. You pick it up, take the first bite, and take in the taste. If your expectation of the apple's flavor is different from what it tastes like, you will be let down and won't be satisfied when you ingest it.

Or maybe the apple tastes exactly as you expected it to—nothing special at all—and you just eat it without taking the time to savor the flavor and get on with your day.

The apple in the first scenario was a disappointment because it did not live up to your expectations. As for the second, it was ordinary and not interesting because it was expected; either it is not good or not good enough.

What if you get rid of your expectations of what an apple should taste like, pretend that you really don't know what it tastes like and try it for the first time in your life? You are curious, neutral, and open to a wide variety of flavours, tasting them with genuine interest and taking the time to notice their juiciness, rough rind, simultaneous sour, intense and sweet flavors, and all the other complex sensations that come into your consciousness during the chewing process.

You had no idea what it tasted like and it was new and special to you because you'd never tasted this apple before.

Mindfulness practitioners refer to this exercise as the beginner's mind, but it is nothing but the product of having a mindset free from any unnecessary expectations.

An apple can be replaced by anything in your life, such as an event, a task, a process of social interaction, a person, a meal, or an idea that you have anywhere and at any time. Dealing with any of these issues with prior expectations of what you should be will leave you disappointed, or you will find it normal and not interesting or worth remembering.

You will move on to the next disappointing or boring experience and so on, until you end up living your life stuck in an endless cycle of things you hardly like or notice. Treating the aforementioned situations without any preconceived expectations and accepting them for what they are will enable you to figure them out and appreciate them as they are, which means that you will experience them as if it were the first time. This is the art of making life easier.

Things that Make Your Life Harder than It Needs to Be:

Below, in the next few lines, we will explore three of the most common ways people use expectations to make their lives harder than they should be:

1. Postponing to avoid expected problems:

A person's fear of failing could induce them to put off a significant assignment at work. Their expectations warn them that they will have to deal with numerous issues that they fail to understand, in addition to mistakes, failures, and more troubles. It is difficult, taxing, and demands a lot of hard work. But since your expectations are what cause problems, you must let them go and acknowledge that you have no idea how the project will turn out. Regardless of the outcome, you will approach it with an open mind, observe what transpires, and draw lessons from the experience.

Avoiding life's trials will not bring you peace. You have to go along with it and the way it goes and treat all tasks and experiences as challenges to growth and progress. Either you get what you want or you get an idea of your next step. It should be noted here that finding peace in life does not mean the absence of challenges and hard work. It means remaining composed, both mentally and emotionally, despite these situations.

2. Giving up once you realize it's more difficult than expected:

Great things in life are not always easy to get; in fact, they often include certain challenges, which only make matters worse when they are ignored. You know deep down that this is true, yet you start your endeavor expecting an amazing result and to accomplish it easily. When it turns out that it is more difficult than you expected and that you are less successful in achieving it, you will be disappointed and frustrated, and then you will lose your enthusiasm and give up.

This brings us to our next topic: being open to whatever arises and letting go of ideas about how your activity will go. That is, regardless of how things turn out on your first attempt, you will learn what you need to know if you get down to business without thinking about the repercussions and absorb everything as it unfolds.

Bottom line: There are no shortcuts to reaching big life goals because reality will always expose its flaws and mysteries. The reason that common people are able to attain great happiness and noteworthy accomplishments and successes is because they are willing to step outside of their comfort zone and put in the kind of hard work that their more sophisticated, wealthy, and successful competitors lack the guts, willpower, or motivation to do.

That is, it is in your interest to stop expecting things to go easily, and this mindset is enough to make you realize your excellence and the speed of growth of your successes.

3. Resentment when people don't behave the way you expect:

For example, your co-worker may drive you crazy because he is not doing his job properly or because he is not considerate of others’ feelings. Anticipating how he "should" behave makes you angry, but if he behaves differently from how you imagined it to, it upsets you.

You should not expect people to live up to your aspirations. It is enough to accept them, and accepting people as they are does not mean that you do nothing about it. You can stop being angry, observe how they are facing difficulties, and use it as an opportunity to teach, help, or guide them towards the next logical step without expecting them to accept it, like it, or follow your advice. Make contributions only with the goal of consistently being the one to take the initiative and help.

The same is true when your children misbehave and deviate from the ideal expectations in your head. No child, no adult, not even you, can act perfectly. When tired, for example, a person tends to act rude and harsh, or you see them strive to be cheerful and kind like everyone else. When your children face difficulties, you must sympathize with them help them and let go of your expectations that they will act perfectly and accept their pursuit of happiness as you do.

It is hard to admit that most of our problems with others are not about them. We created them subconsciously in our minds when someone touched our fears or insecurities or simply did not do something we expected of them. That is, this kind of problem is not related to others but to us.

These little dilemmas are easy to solve because we are responsible for our decisions, and we have to choose between either cluttering our minds with expectations that increase our stress or being open to the positive realities that will unfold before us over time. All we need is the willingness to look at things differently and replace the expectations In our minds to open up and accept life, its emergencies, and others according to their true nature.

In conclusion:

Life is too short to spend it struggling with yourself. The harshest disappointments in our lives result from false expectations, and the first step to achieving happiness is freedom from unnecessary expectations.

The mastery of making life easier is not as simple as you might expect or imagine; it requires practice and awareness of such idealistic expectations and harmful fantasies. It also means taking annoyances, anger, sadness, anxiety, and mood swings as signs of expectations you didn't realize existed, which you should observe and then let go of.

It takes a lot of practice, and that's where the fun lies. So don't expect to get it right; it is enough to experience it until you learn from experience and gradually develop. Every moment in your life should be considered a miracle that should be observed, appreciated and enjoyed.