The Wheelchair
A chance encounter with a businessman on a wheelchair prompted the author to reflect on the aging process and the importance of planning for the future. The author and their friend considered the different paths that some of their role models had taken as they aged, some in good health, others struggling with illness or loneliness.
The author emphasizes the need for maintaining one’s health and forging close bonds with their loved ones. The article concludes with a story and several morals that teach important lessons about treating others with kindness and not judging them based solely on their appearance.
The Importance of Health, Family Bonds, and Kindness:
In his book "Shortcut for a Better Life", the writer Ziad Rayess mentions: My friend told me that he ran into a businessman that we both know on the seaside corniche. The man was using a wheelchair, and beside him was an assistant who was helping him. My friend and I began to run through all the important figures we looked up to, people whom we’d like to sit with and become close to. As the days went by, their fates differed: some became infirm or developed Alzheimer’s, some were put into nursing homes by their children, some went to be with God, and some had difficulty eating and walking. But on the other hand, there were some who were still in good health, honored and cherished by their children and families.
People need to observe and recall the comfortable days of their youth and vitality as much as they remember how they’ll be when they grow old and weak. People should remember the medical, social, and financial circumstances they might end up in and the fact that all this could be in their future. They should plan for this, saving some of their health for times of illness, some of their youth for times of weakness, and some of their wealth for times of poverty.
It’s also important for them to strengthen the bonds with their children, family and others close to them. The same applies to old friends. They should be the first to seek to create and cultivate these bonds, creating a positive incentive for the friends to reciprocate. People shouldn’t rely on the idea that they’re a parent and everyone else is there to serve them, care for them, and visit them as a sacred duty. Instead, we must support our children so they will respect us, and we aren’t a burden on them. This is especially true when we are far apart, and they have lots of responsibilities and we have less in common.
There are many things that can help with that. On a personal level, you can care for your health and not neglect it, so it won’t affect you later. How you interact with your children, relatives, and friends is also important.
Throughout the week, my wife makes delicious meals, takes pictures of them, and sends them to the family group chat that includes my children and their spouses. She tempts them to come over and gather around the dinner table.
It’s important to understand your children if they’re not acting as you’d like. Know that only God knows the fluctuations and situations of His worshippers’ lives. It is not the worshiper's place to judge prematurely or decide other humans’ fates. That is God’s job. Abu Hanifa (may God have mercy on him) told the following story, which I remember because of its twists and turns (regardless of the different opinions over its accuracy). However, there are many narrations about the life of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his followers that talk about the same figurative meaning of the subject.
Abu Hanifa had a corrupt, alcoholic neighbor. And he tried to give him advice until he got tired of it, so he gave up.
The same day, the alcoholic’s wife knocked on the door and invited Abu Hanifa to pray for her husband, who had died, and he refused. Then the alcoholic appeared to him in a dream, walking through the gardens of Paradise saying “Tell Abu Hanifa: thank God that he didn’t make Paradise,” he said.
In the morning, Abu Hanifa went and asked his wife about him. She said, “He used to feed the orphans in the neighborhood every Friday, patting their heads and crying, ‘Pray for your uncle.’ So maybe it was one of the children’s prayers.”
Abu Hanifa deeply regretted what he had done. After this conversation, he went to his companions and said, “Don’t insult or despise sinners. We live under God’s protection, and if it were removed, we would be exposed. Don’t be fooled by someone fasting or praying a lot; you don’t know who is closest to God.”
Many stories and lessons cross our lives unnoticed and remain forgotten as we return to the tyranny of health, money, and status, as if time stops when we’re in the prime of our lives.
Some of the morals of the Abu Hanifa story are:
- Do the right thing, (give advice without shaming, reproach without hurting, and don’t judge others based on their journey in life).
- It’s important to take care of orphans and raise them well, not just by giving them food and water but through good treatment and communication. Patting an orphan on the head has another dimension to it: spiritual and moral support.
- Don’t judge a book by its cover, as only God knows what’s in people hearts. Don’t revile someone unless you’ve seen them committing a grave sin, as no one knows who’s closest to God.
- It’s important that people keep their sins private while continuing to seek forgiveness, repent, and return to Almighty God. Whoever sincerely repents for their sins will find God to be generous and merciful. There is no sin too great for Him to forgive, and the wail of sinners is dearer to Him than the satisfaction of conceited people.
- Supplicatory prayer is extremely important. Prayer is worship, and has an important role, especially prayers for orphans and poor or weak people. Make sure to reach their hearts to receive their love and prayers.
- It’s important to treat people kindly, especially those who are in a weak or unfortunate position.
I ask Almighty God to make us among those closest to Him, that He comforts us by accepting us in His mercy, He is the Most Merciful and the Most Generous.
Conclusion:
In a world where health, money, and status often take precedence over everything else, the author reminds us of the importance of planning for the future and attending to our physical and emotional well-being. By building strong relationships with loved ones and treating others with kindness, we can navigate life's challenges with greater ease and grace. The moral of this story offers important lessons about the value of extending compassion, withholding judgment, and seeking forgiveness for our mistakes. Ultimately, the author encourages readers to focus on what truly matters in life, including faith, family, and kindness towards others.