The Skill Of Self-Reliance: Its Importance And How To Develop It?

It is true that man is a social being by nature, who derives much of his strength from others, but this does not mean that he should depend on their presence with him at every step of his life. The correct behavioral development of any person necessarily means the development of their self-reliance skill, so that they can live independently, at the very least. In this article, we will learn more about this skill, its importance, and how to develop it.

First: What is the skill of self-reliance, and why is it important?

Self-reliance is when a person assumes their responsibilities and completes their work on their own without help. There is an overlap between the concept of self-reliance and many other concepts, like self-esteem, self-expression, and self-acceptance, and each of these concepts – despite the slight overlap between them – remains a concept in and of itself.

Merriam-Webster defined self-reliance as: “reliance on one’s efforts and abilities.” In addition to this definition, there are many definitions that are all in the same context, and this particular concept is linked to their psychological meanings.

The American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson introduced the concept of self-reliance in his article “Self-reliance”. Emerson believes that society negatively affects our growth and also affects the way we think and the formation of our orientations. He confirms that self-reliance spares us the rule of this society, and the conformity to it and its ideas.

Self-reliance, as Emerson explained, does not mean living in isolation from others, nor does it mean doing everything on your own, or facing life alone. Self-reliance includes many other important ideas and points that we will mention the most important of below:

1. Thinking independently without building your views or opinions based on the prevailing view in society means thinking your own way and not copying the way of others. If you believe in any idea, you must express it confidently without thinking about the obstacles, or considering what others will think of you.
2. Celebrating your independence and individuality: Thinking with a herd mentality is one of the things that makes a person become a copy of others. Therefore, you should be proud of your individuality and your difference and embrace them. You should not be driven by what others want from you, and you should find your happiness in your own decisions.
3. Searching for own goals: The skill of self-affirmation also includes being oneself, and seeking to achieve one’s own goals without hoping to get much support from others. A person should derive support from themselves, and themselves only.

In short, and very simply, based on the previous points, self-reliance means being honest with yourself, knowing what you want and what you like, being independent and far from keeping up with society, and working to fulfill your own desires instead of its desires.

To depend on yourself, clearly, does not mean at all to depend on others, but just be yourself.

The importance of self-reliance:

The skill of self-reliance is one of the very important skills in your life and its development, and it should be one of your primary interests. Often you will find yourself far from your family and friends, and this is where the importance of this skill shows. It enables you to continue your work without feeling any shortcomings due to the absence of others, or any sense of helplessness and lack of confidence. Thanks to it, you know on your own how to manage your affairs and carry out your work, and how to make decisions, and solve problems.

The skill of self-reliance makes you a person who can live independently, which is very important today, not to mention the happiness this skill gives you and the great self-confidence that you gain from it as you achieve and succeed on your own without relying on others. Always remember that every time you take a step forward, your self-esteem and love for yourself will increase, and you will learn how to search more and learn on your own without any need for anyone. 

Second: How to develop the skill of self-reliance?

The skill of self-reliance is one of the highly important skills in our lives, as previously stated, therefore, it must be developed seriously. We will mention below several techniques to help develop and grow this skill:

1. Be your own friend:

You are a human after all, and every human has strengths and weaknesses as well. Therefore, it is necessary to search for these points, write them down, and think about them. This will greatly help you understand yourself, and when you understand yourself, it will be very easy to become a friend of yourself. Reinforce the beauty you see in yourself and get rid of what bothers you, and in all cases, feel proud of your achievements, no matter how small, and never underestimate yourself.

2. Self-confidence:

Do not derive your confidence from others, and do not look for words of praise and admiration from others to see your beauty and importance. Do not look for a hand to pat your shoulder to feel reassured, and always remember that many times you will find yourself alone, far from those close to you, so learn how to support your own self and give it compliments and praise. You are the only one who knows the circumstances you are going through. What you offer may seem simple to many, and not worthy of thanks, because they only have a superficial view, and only you realize how much you suffered, struggled, and endured. Do not hesitate and do whatever it takes to increase your sense of self-worth and raise your self-confidence.

3. Decisions should come from you:

don’t always look for a guide and mentor. You have to trust your decisions, and this does not mean that you should not consult those close to you. Of course, you can consult whoever you want, but in the end, make the decision yourself.

4. Dependency management:

We all go through moments when our need for others increases, so we search for them more than ever. We need to understand these very moments and understand the reasons behind them so we can deal with them and manage these feelings of need. For example, some of us need others when going through a failed romantic experience, a failure, or a sickness. These feelings are often repeated when we go through a similar experience, so train yourself to deal correctly with yourself in these cases, and remember that your inner hand is more important than any external hand that can be extended to you.

5. Self-acceptance:

Give validation to yourself and do not look for someone else to give it to you. Do not look for ways to make yourself acceptable to others. It is enough for you to accept yourself. Otherwise you establish your dependence on others and become submissive to them in some way.

6. Determine your own values:

You don’t have to think as others around you do, and you don’t have to adopt their ideas and principles. You simply may not agree with them. It is also important not to tie your happiness to external things, because these things are changeable, and they can disappear completely.

7. Determine what you want:

When you know what you want, you will simply know what makes you happy, and then you will work towards achieving it.

Third: How to teach children the skill of self-reliance?

Teaching children self-reliance skills must start before entering school, and many behaviors fall under the list of these skills, like washing hands, dressing up, and using the restroom. It is very important that the child does not get used to having someone always beside them doing their work. The child must learn how to take care of themselves, arrange their toys and their room, and study their lessons. Parents should encourage them to make such behaviors a habit for them and a part of their life skills.

The child can be encouraged by playing music for them during work to make it more fun and energetic. This skill is necessary for the child not only because it teaches them how to be independent, but because it also teaches them not to wait for help from anyone. In the same context, it is very important to teach children how to deal with a mistake. If your child drops food while eating, do not scold and blame them, and then clean up the mess they made. Instead, you have to teach them how to rely on themselves and fix the mistake they made.

Fourth: Important tips for developing the skill of self-reliance

These tips will help you develop self-reliance from an early age:

1. Don’t evade responsibility. On the contrary, bear all the responsibilities you have to bear, and solve the problems that you face yourself without looking for someone else to solve them. This way, you become stronger and more able to face the hardships of life.
2. Develop yourself, read more, and be curious about everything new in order to become more efficient and able to make the right decisions. This will also increase your confidence in yourself, and this confidence will necessarily be reflected in your actions and decisions.
3. Maintain your health so you can always be active and reduce your need for medication and treatment. Set a schedule to achieve this, and practice sports and useful activities.
4. Take care of your feelings, accept your frustrations and weaknesses, deal with everything that is bothering you properly, and most of all, don’t beat yourself up all the time.
5. Try to let go of negative feelings related to yourself correctly, like venting your anger and emotion with sports.
6. Don’t compare yourself to others, no matter the circumstances, and don’t judge your worth by the value of others that you see.

In conclusion:

The skill of self-reliance is one of the basic and necessary skills in our lives. In the previous article, we discussed its importance and ways to develop it. We also stressed the need to learn this skill from an early age and the need for parents to develop this skill and make it part of their children’s behavior.