Ten steps to change your life and become a better person (Part 3)

27 أغسطس 2024

In the second part of this article series, we discussed four steps to change your life and become a better person. We'll talk about four more in the last part of it.

Ten Steps to Being the Best:

7. Avoid mental blockages:

While high expectations can increase our success, low expectations can harm it. This is called the "nocebo effect".

What is the nocebo effect?

The nocebo effect is a negative influence that comes from expectations about us, either our own or the expectations of others around us. "Nocebo" in Latin means "I will harm."

Harvard University published an article on various medical trials that showed exactly how strong the effect of nocebo was:

Volunteers were told that an electric current would pass through their heads and might cause a headache. As a result, two-thirds of the volunteers developed headaches, even though no actual electric current was passed.
Allergy-prone volunteers received an injection while being informed that it contained a food to which they were allergic. Even though the injection was merely salt water, many of them began to have allergic reactions.
Patients with asthma were given a bronchodilator, but were told it was a bronchial strait instead, which reduced the drug's effectiveness by around 50%.

Nocebo's effects are not limited to the medical field; how often do people tell us we can't do things and we believe them?

If you think something will have a negative effect, it is likely to have a negative effect. Thinking as a successful person is not just about raising your expectations; it is also about eliminating harmful thoughts.

Try to identify areas of Nocebo’s influence in your life. Are your failures and mistakes considered one-time events or recurring patterns? What is your greatest weakness? Is it permanent? What is holding you back? What do you do about it?

Remember: increased self-awareness leads to better performance. So be exceptional, and find your limiting-beliefs and get rid of them.

8. Take action instead of making excuses:

Imagine you have an important meeting today, and you've been working on your presentation all night, but you're not quite done with it yet. However, you decide to go to bed early and improvise the rest of it, but when it comes time to present, you stumble.

If so, do you ask yourself:

"How can I avoid this in the future?"
"It's not my fault; there’s nothing I can do about it."

If you choose the second option, science has some bad news for you. In a study published in the Journal of Psychology, researchers found that 72% of college students admitted to making incorrect excuses, which isn't surprising. Interestingly, they found a direct link between excuses and lower grade averages.

If you make excuses, your success will be affected. What excuses do you make for your shortcomings?

If you are not beautiful, do you tell yourself that these are your genes and there is nothing you can do? Or do you work hard to dress better, eat healthy, and hit the gym?
If your personality is not attractive, do you tell yourself that you are not built for leadership? Or do you try to improve your public speaking skills and learn how to be more entertaining?
If you don't have a job you love, do you accept this as an inevitable reality? Or do you improve your CV and look for a better job?

9. Strive to be great, not perfect:

Every successful person in history has had a bad day.

In 2016, a pre-launch test failure by SpaceX resulted in a massive explosion, which the company's founder and businessman Elon Musk describes as the hardest failure he has experienced in the past 14 years.
Famous bodybuilder Dorian Yates trained all year long for competition but suffered a serious injury that could have caused him to retire.
Vincent Van Gogh struggled constantly with poverty and sold only one painting during his life.

Great people don't do things perfectly; they do them purposefully. Perfection is just an excuse. We can strive for it, but it's silly to accomplish. Not surprisingly, there are a large number of studies indicating that perfectionism is associated with mental health problems.

Remember: No matter who you are or how successful you are, you will have bad days, you will make mistakes, and you will encounter obstacles. Instead of perfection, Dr. Beecham found that successful people try to focus on learning, and even if you feel that your life today does not meet your aspirations, the important thing to remember is to ask yourself this question every day: Is this the best I can do?

If you think about where you are now and what you want to be, it may seem impossible, but when you take one step at a time, you make slow but steady progress. So make a list of your failures and memorize them, then review them and learn from them. Respect your failures because they are the reason for your subsequent success. Regarding those bad days that we talked about earlier:

SpaceX has achieved eighty successes since this accident and is now preparing to be the leader in human travel to Mars.
Dorian Yates won the Mr. Olympia title after three weeks.
Now "Vincent Van Gogh" is a well-known name, and his most expensive painting, "Portrait of Dr. Gachet," was sold for $148.6 million.

10. Find competitors:

You know that competition motivates people to achieve more. Competitors can help you, motivate you and inspire you. Have you ever pondered what the optimal starting line is for runners in a competitive running competition, for instance? Is it track 1, where you begin at the very end and can see every other competitor? Or maybe track 8, where you start from the beginning and don't see anyone?

While it depends on the athlete, there is general agreement that no one wants to be in track 8. Being at the front means you are competing with yourself, and when you don't see the other contestants, you are the only one to whom you are comparing yourself.

One of the best starting tracks is the middle one, where the runner can see his opponents and catch up with them throughout the race. In other words, the great competitor destroys your idea of what is possible and raises the bar of expectations. Getting better requires taking advantage of your competitors to help you run faster, not to hold you back.

Think of all your competitors and look at them in another light so that you can make them your motivation. The person in front of you simply shows you what is possible and tells you that you can do what they do or even become better. Remember, your competitors are scared too; no one is better or faster than you. There are only people who are less afraid.

In conclusion:

“If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life,” says psychologist Abraham Maslow.