Steps to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts
I want to ask you a question: How many hours do you think during the day? You might answer, “I never thought about that.” This leads me to wonder. You think all the time, yet you never think about how much time you spend thinking, and that sounds like an addiction to me because I'm addicted to thinking, too.
- When I eat a lot, I can say, "I'm eating too much, so I need to eat less."
- When I work a lot, I can say, “I feel tired, and I need to stop working.”
- When I drink too much, I can say: "I want to stop, I just need a bottle of water."
When I think too much, I can't say "I'm thinking too much.” I need a different approach to remove negative thoughts from my mind.
The problem is that we don't consider overthinking to be a problem. When someone says that overthinking is a bad thing, we often assume that negative thoughts are the only wrong thing, and by this definition, that automatically means that positive thoughts are good.
This is the thinking mistake I've made in the past, and I'll tell you why it's wrong to assume that positive thoughts are good, but first let's talk about the difference between positive thoughts and negative thoughts.
The difference between positive thoughts and negative thoughts:
I think most of us would agree that negative thoughts are related to the following:
- Anxiety.
- Complaint.
- Anger.
- Feeling sorry for yourself.
- Blaming others.
We can also agree that the following ideas are positive:
- Try to solve problems.
- Study.
- Understand the information.
- Planning.
- Visualization.
- Setting goals.
What most self-help advice says is to get rid of negative thoughts and promote positive thoughts. When you think about it, it seems like good advice. After all, negative thoughts make our lives worse, and positive thoughts should make our lives better, right?
I wish that were true. However, the truth is that when you overthink, your mind gets drained and dull, and you get foggy and make bad decisions.
You are not your thoughts:
Man's life is the product of their thoughts, and the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius put it in the best way in his book Meditations: "Our life is what our thoughts make."
The quality of our thoughts determines our life and who we are. Most of us assume we are the product of our thoughts, and we always say, “Well, I can't help but think about these things, that's me,” but no, that's not you. You can decide which thoughts to ignore in your mind, and I like the way German teacher Eckhart Tolle put it in his book The Power of Now: “The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not your own thoughts.”
The only way to stop identifying yourself with your thoughts is to stop following them. So, instead decide to live in the present moment and what's in it without bothering to think about what's to come.
How do you live in the present moment?
Thinking is a tool. Instead of using this tool for the 16 or 17 hours you're awake, use it only when you need it. Here's a four-step process I used to stop overthinking:
1. Raise your awareness throughout the day:
Always try to realize that too much thinking spoils the goal.
2. When you raise awareness, immediately start observing your thoughts:
When you start thinking, try not to follow your thoughts, but just watch how the thinking process begins. When you do so, you will automatically stop overthinking.
3. Limit your thinking to only the specific moments that you need:
For example, when you want to set your daily priorities, try to set aside a specific time to think about them. It might take 5 minutes that you can invest well to follow your thoughts, or invest the time of writing a diary to think about what you write. Since we are trying to avoid constant thinking, we do not want to turn into philosophers.
4. Enjoy your life:
Leave all your thoughts about yesterday and tomorrow. No matter how much you want to achieve in the future and how much you suffered in the past, look with appreciation and enjoy your life.
There is no need for me to tell you how wonderful it is to be alive and to enjoy every moment that you live, but that doesn't mean I'm telling you "Enjoy washing the dishes." That's not my style. I can't fool myself like that, but I try to enjoy the present moment in a different way. So, I ignore every thought that crosses my mind, and while I do something I don't really like washing the dishes for example, I do it without thinking.
While when I do tasks or activities that I really love, I try to enjoy them as much as possible, and give my full attention to the moment in which I live, whether I am listening to music, watching a movie, spending time with family and friends, and not thinking about my goals or my failures or even what I have to do it the next day.
I am here at this very moment, just as it takes you now to read these words. What is gone, is gone forever. So, try to realize it on a deeper level, and you will never dare to leave the present.