Emotional Intelligence Exercises: Develop Yourself

The factors related to emotional intelligence were first discussed in the work of the educational philosopher John Dewey in 1909. He mentioned the term "social intelligence" and defined it as the power to observe and understand social situations.

In 1920, Edward Thorndike, a professor of educational psychology at Columbia University, used the term "social intelligence" in an article published by the famous Harper's magazine entitled "Intelligence and Its Use." Thorndike defined social intelligence at the time as the ability to understand and manage men, women, boys, and girls to act wisely in human relations.

Previous researchers paved the way for the use of the term "emotional intelligence," which appeared for the first time in a research paper presented by Michael Baldoch - clinical professor of psychiatry at Cornell University - in 1964, which was entitled "Sensitivity to Express Emotional Meaning in Three Ways of Communication."

The turning point in the emotional intelligence journey was in 1983 when researcher Howard Gardner talked about the theory of multiple intelligence in his book "Frames of Mind." In his book, Gardner discussed two types of intelligence: emotional intelligence and social intelligence. Studies and research continued until 1995. The researcher Daniel Goleman published his book "The Emotional Intelligence," which resulted from long research studies. The book achieved a quantum leap in the science of emotional intelligence. It highlighted the importance of using emotional intelligence in various fields of life and the extent of the benefits that can be achieved by using these skills at the level of companies, schools, universities, and various domains in life.

The importance of emotional intelligence

Before diving into the importance of emotional intelligence and its skills, it may occur to us to ask the following question:

What makes emotional intelligence so interesting?

The way Daniel Goleman explained emotional intelligence in his book, which achieved the highest sales rate in the world in 1995, had a significant role in attracting companies and individuals to understand this new term. Emotional intelligence was presented in the framework of four essential components:

1. Self-conscious.
2. Self-management.
3. Social awareness.
4. Relationship management.

If we look at the previous four components, we will find that they are compatible with daily human interactions, whether at the level of personal relationships or at the level of professional relationships. Emotional intelligence in Goleman's book answered many of the questions raised to understand the complexities of human interaction.

According to Goleman, one of the main benefits of emotional intelligence lies in the fact that emotional intelligence can help people make better decisions. This feature is invaluable to business, education, medicine, and personal and social life. Is there anything better than having the advantage of making the best decision out of a set of options available to us?

Based on the above, emotional intelligence and its skills play a major role in developing the individual and moving their life to a higher level of success and progress.

How do emotional intelligence exercises contribute to your development?

We know that emotional intelligence is based on understanding a person's emotions, managing and controlling their feelings, controlling their reactions, and understanding the feelings of others and sympathizing with them, which paves the way for the person to possess great skills in managing relationships, and in establishing effective communication with others.

In the following, we will talk about the most important benefits that can be reflected in a person's life due to acquiring emotional intelligence skills. These benefits are:

1. The effect of emotional intelligence exercises on physical health

We do not need a lot of evidence that talks about the close relationship between mental health and physical health. Applying emotional intelligence exercises helps keep mental health at its highest level in a person. How not when it makes them avoid negative reactions and gives them intellectual flexibility to accept the behavior of others and understand their feelings?

All these exercises make people satisfied with themselves first and able to explain what is happening to them in their relations with the external environment. When the psychological state remains in a healthy balance, the physical health remains at its height, as we all know the extent to which some physical diseases are linked to mental health. Heart diseases, high blood pressure, headaches, diabetes, and many other diseases have direct psychological causes that affect humans.

2. The effect of emotional intelligence exercises in dealing with life’s variables

Many people do not like change in their lives, but the truth is that life’s changes and ups and downs are among the cosmic norms that a person must deal with. Therefore, emotional intelligence exercises and the acquisition of its skills help people obtain the tools they need to deal with any change they may encounter, whether in familial, work, or social life.

Ordinary people often face changes with adverse reactions, while emotionally intelligent people approach changes with confidence, viewing them positively as a new opportunity to learn and gain more experience.

3. The effect of emotional intelligence exercises in managing relationships

Whatever the work you do and whatever the level of the social relationship, emotional intelligence exercises and their application in real life means that one masters the skill of effective communication with others, understands their feelings, and realizes the reasons and background of their behavior. Hence, the emotionally intelligent person is trusted by others, in addition to having the ability to solve problems and deal with crises and conflicts, whether on the familial, social, or practical level.

Comprehensive Emotional Intelligence Test

Assessing emotional intelligence skills is not difficult. Anyone who can use the Internet can search a little bit about how to do a test to measure their emotional intelligence skills. They will get a lot of options that enable them to do so.

A comprehensive emotional intelligence test is a psychological test that requires selecting one answer from two options in a pair of statements that describe the personal situation. The test usually takes about 10 minutes to complete. At the end of the test, the person clicks on the "Test result" button so that the computer creates an EI profile for the scores obtained. It must be noted that the person's answers must be accurate to know their true capabilities and skills in emotional intelligence.

There is a set of comprehensive emotional intelligence test questions:

1. Can I recognize my feelings as I experience them?
2. Do I lose my temper when I'm feeling down?
3. Did people tell me that I'm a good listener?
4. Do I know how to calm down when I am anxious or upset?
5. Do I enjoy organizing groups?
6. Do I need help to focus on something in the long term?
7. Do I find it hard to move on when feeling down or unhappy?
8. Do I know my strengths and weaknesses?
9. Do I avoid conflict and negotiations?
10. Do I feel like I'm not enjoying my job?
11. Do I ask people for feedback on what I do well? And how to improve it?
12. Do I set long-term goals and review my progress regularly?
13. Do I find it difficult to read other people's feelings?
14. Do I find it difficult to build relations with others?
15. Do I use active listening skills when people talk to me?

Exercises to increase emotional intelligence

There are many tips to increase the level of emotional intelligence skills of an individual, which they can follow to increase the skills of emotional intelligence. These methods are:

1. Think about your feelings

Don't let your feelings go unchecked. For example, think about how you usually respond when reading an email that makes you angry. By identifying your feelings and reactions, you become more aware, and you can begin to control your reactions and emotions.

2. Ask others for perspective

A person always sees themselves from a different perspective from what others see. So they should not hesitate to evaluate their reactions and the way they show their feelings. For example, ask a friend or a close colleague about your reaction when you are emotional or angry. The answers will help you get a more accurate view of yourself.

3. Be committed

The individual has to be armed with knowledge and follow up on new and recent information. Following up on new information makes the individual more able to notice their current feelings. Self-reflection and thinking about the evaluation of others will help the individual be more in tune with themselves to identify their strengths and weaknesses.

4. Focus on feelings, not events

One should focus on understanding their feelings and not on the events that accompany them. They must understand their feelings and define them so that they know how to deal with them when they go through the same events that led to those feelings.

For example, one should be fully aware of the feelings that appear during a job interview or while receiving a warning from their manager or professor to determine the extent of their ability to deal with those feelings and control them so that they do not go out of control.

5. Deal with criticism

It is not easy to stand the criticism directed at us. However, when criticizing anyone, there are two options. The first is to be drawn into emotions and allow them to control you, to get reactions out of you that are often negative and dependent on personal fantasy, while the second option is to accept criticism and consider it as an opportunity to learn, and to avoid being driven by emotion. Rather than that, think about the content of the criticism well so that you realize the good aspects of the criticism directed to you to deal with those aspects and to change them and replace them with other valid aspects.

6. Practice these exercises

Acquiring emotional intelligence skills is like any other skill or ability, as practice makes it better. Naturally, it is impossible to have ultimate control over your feelings. However, if a person continues to practice controlling their feelings, identifying them, and controlling their reactions, in that case, they will eventually use their feelings to work for their benefit instead of being subject to those feelings.

It is essential to realize that the development of emotional intelligence skills is not limited to a particular age group. Each one of us can work on developing our skills in emotional intelligence. Every father and every mother needs to know that they can work on developing the emotional intelligence skills of their children by following various methods. We will work together to identify these methods.

Emotional intelligence exercises for children

1. Naming those feelings

For children to express their feelings, they must have an emotional vocabulary. Therefore, it is vital to teach children those words that they can use to express their emotions. This is the first step towards developing emotional intelligence in children. Every opportunity should be taken to name those feelings that present themselves.

For example, you may say to the child: "I know you are sad because you have to say goodbye to your friends." Cards can also be used to express feelings, such as teaching the child to draw a heart or a rose when they are happy, as well as allowing them to express feelings and introduce them to those feelings. For example, you may say to the child: "I know you are crying because your toy is broken." The more words the child gets, the more equipped they are to express their feelings.

2. Exchanging roles

One of the best activities for increasing emotional intelligence in children is role-playing, as this method is considered a very important tool in developing the child's intellectual, emotional, and creative abilities. Role-playing is like when parents take the child's role and the child takes some of the roles of the mother or the father. This way, the child can learn how parents would deal with the same situations they are going through and how they would feel about the same situations that make them happy, sad, or angry.

3. Teaching the child diary writing

This activity is an emotional intelligence activity that is suitable for children aged eight and over who can use writing or drawing to express their true feelings. It is essential for the child to feel that their diary, which they write or draw, is a safe place for them and is free from any judgments, penalties, or assessments so that the child has ultimate freedom in writing down their true feelings. This method is suitable for those children who have difficulty expressing their feelings. Diaries provide a way for them that is considered a valuable outlet and a healthy way to process emotions.

4. Teaching the child to play sports

We all know the impact of exercise on the human body, whether as children or as adults. Deep breathing physically affects our bodies, as it helps us calm down and reduces anxiety and stress. It is a shame that we do not teach our children breathing exercises through simple sports commensurate with their physical abilities.

In conclusion

Learning emotional intelligence skills is the key to strong and healthy development in the current world full of means of progress and development. Following up with this cognitive development is only done by upgrading individual human skills that lead an individual’s life to achieve success and reach the goals they seek. It requires not sitting on the time threshold and waiting for miracles to happen.

On the contrary, the individual must decide to start changing their lives and moving towards the better by keeping up with and acquiring new sciences and being patient while facing the challenges of change and boredom that may afflict them during that journey.