Confident or Arrogant? How to Know the Difference

We see many people with different personalities and characteristics in our lives and jobs, including confident, sober, arrogant, loving, evil, and diverse. People differ in their natures and are characterized by them; that is, we see the character as a fingerprint that does not resemble one another. The worst characteristic is arrogance, so come with us to know more about it.

I interviewed a young woman for a position at our company a few years ago. During the interview, I explained the chances of applying for our vacancies. Before I was done, she interrupted me, saying, “The only job I want is yours.”

Self-confidence or arrogance? How do we know the difference?

The statement and something in her body language struck me as being rather arrogant. Others might see such behavior as overconfidence - a more desirable trait. Still, there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. It can be difficult to distinguish one from the other, especially since, in many of our cultures, we encourage self-promotion and reward it as the key to success.

In addition, many of us have grown up thinking they are unique and special and can get what they want. This is a positive and ambitious message, but it carries risks.

Working to boost self-esteem is good, but overdoing it can encourage arrogance and narcissism instead.

How can you tell if someone is confident or arrogant?

Let's start by defining both terms:

Confidence is a feeling of self-confidence that stems from an appreciation of our abilities or qualities, while an exaggerated sense of our importance or abilities characterizes arrogance. Fortunately, there is some evidence that can help us discover them.

Arrogant individuals often think they have nothing to learn from others, so they act as if they know everything. They fight with their teeth and nails to be right and to show that others are wrong; as a result, they don't listen to the opinions of others.

Confident people, on the other hand, have no problem listening; they realize they don't know everything, and they're happy to learn from others.

Arrogant people also like to talk about themselves a lot, boasting about their achievements, skills, and abilities, and often ignore those around them. In meetings, for example, arrogant people generally seek to highlight themselves consciously or unconsciously and make others feel less important. They may use condescending language, talk to people arrogantly, or show body language that shows a lack of interest in others.

By contrast, confident people may highlight their colleagues' achievements in meetings or group work, encourage them, and praise their co-workers generously.

Perhaps the main difference is that arrogance often hides psychological insecurity; that's why arrogant people brag about their accomplishments and abilities while they tend to despise others.

Conversely, confidence stems from true self-esteem, faith, and pride in your accomplishments and abilities. Confident people have a psychological balance that contributes to inner calm, show composure, and do not brag or behave better than others.

Ultimately, vanity is a barrier, and no one likes to spend time with arrogant people; they are annoying and repulsive. Confident people are the opposite; they inspire others, and the more time we spend with them, the more likely we are to develop our self-confidence. Confidence attracts us and is also contagious.

How do you manage arrogant behavior or arrogant people in the workplace?

You can't fully guard against arrogance because you can't control the way people behave, but here are eight helpful tips to help you reduce and treat arrogance in your team:

Start with the right job

If you want to create a culture that fosters teamwork and mutual respect, you must ensure you're not inadvertently hiring an arrogant person.

Here are some things to look out for:

1. Biographies are too good to be true

Arrogant applicants may amplify their skills and contributions to their previous jobs and try to position themselves as the only people suitable for the job.

An application letter I received began with the words, “Because of my competence and experience, you will find no one better for the job.” This tone sounded my alarm bell, and despite the eloquent wording, it was confirmed during the interview that the applicant spent all the time trying to convince me why he was better than anyone else I might have met.

2. Required Behavior

An arrogant applicant may have a strong sense of entitlement. For example, they teach you what they don't want to do. “He never worked overtime,”  one applicant said, and another asked where she was sitting to ensure her office space fitted.

Others may inquire about higher responsibilities that do not match their experience level and ask for promotions before being offered a job.

A wise person once asserted that when people show you who they are for the first time, believe them;  we may see behaviors that our gut feeling tells us are signs of arrogance. We need to listen to these signals.

3. Make Behavior Part of Job Performance

To encourage positive changes, include “behavior” when evaluating job performance and make it part of the performance review and evaluation process.

A recent study showed that sometimes people are arrogant because they mistakenly believe their experience will justify their behavior. So, let people know that it's not enough to be proficient or an expert in your field and that having the right behavior and compatibility with others is equally important.

4. Face the arrogant employee

Sometimes, you must address arrogant behavior face-to-face, meet with the employee, and be specific about situations where the person has shown arrogance. Identify concrete examples in which arrogant behavior has emerged. For example, explain how this affects team morale and productivity.

I remember a supervisor behaving arrogantly toward his reporters, giving orders, rejecting their ideas, improvising, and often assuming his rank. One of the employees resigned because of him, and he was accompanied by saying that he treated him as an employee and servant and never felt that he was an equal partner.

The second employee started taking more sick leave, and the supervisor's arrogant behavior hurt the team and reflected badly on it.

You have to show the arrogant employee how changing their behavior not only helps the company but can also benefit their career. Arrogance closes doors to better opportunities, and no one wants that.

5. Set expectations

It may not be easy to change the inherent arrogance, but it is easier to change behaviors than attitudes, so identify specific behaviors that can replace arrogant ones.

For example, imagine an employee who is usually late for team meetings, goes after a session, and fills themselves with coffee while others are talking. This behavior may indicate to others that they do not respect the meeting leader, and the first thing they can do is act as if they appreciate the presence and come on time.

6. Monitor employee progress

Give people enough time to practice their new behaviors, but remind them that they are still responsible for their behavior, and schedule a follow-up meeting within three months, for example, to discuss progress or deterioration.

In extreme cases, if you have many complaints about the employee's arrogance and behavior, educating the person about the consequences of not coming forward may be necessary.

7. Raise employee self-awareness

In some cases, employees may be unaware of how they look in front of others because of their enthusiasm for success, so help them understand the difference between self-confidence and arrogance.

Periodic evaluation can help to increase an overbearing employee's self-awareness, and receiving objective feedback from colleagues, peers, and supervisors can also help to ease their behavior and guard against their actions.

But know that arrogant team members may not respond well to constructive criticism; you may need to train them through the process and help them use the information in a productive way.

8. Reassign tasks

You may have a great employee and specialist who doesn't work well in groups, so consider assigning work and tasks where they can excel as an individual contributor. This may include behind-the-scenes tasks such as analytical work.

9. Consider team-based performance rewards

The rule in most companies is to link rewards to individual performance. If you instead align rewards with team performance, the dynamics change. Everyone now has a vested interest in working well together. This may highlight the negative effects of arrogance on team morale and productivity and encourage change and progress.

In conclusion

Whatever you do, don't allow one or two arrogant people to tarnish the mood of others around them. One of your primary responsibilities as a leader, manager, head of the department, or human resources officer is to pay attention to negative emotional contagion and create an environment where team members can thrive and do their job to the fullest.