7 Thinking Patterns Distort Reality

Are you using your thoughts to create the life you want, or is the way you think negatively affecting your life? Most of us fall victim to negative and weak thinking patterns that rob us of joy and cause us needless suffering. If this applies to you, then there is no need to feel bad. Life does not come with a manual telling us how to control our thoughts, and schools do not teach us these things.

In this article, I will share 7 common thought patterns that cause us to see situations in the wrong and negative way that will cause misery, pain, and suffering. Make sure that you are not sabotaging your life with this kind of thinking, and if you are, find out why.

1. Focusing on the negative and ignore the positive: 

It's amazing how hard we can be on ourselves. And this makes it easy to forget the good things in life. Do you find yourself constantly focusing on the negative aspects of everything you do, or on parts of yourself that you find undesirable? If so, you are not alone. There are plenty of other people like you. For example, you might receive compliments about a speech you gave and think, "Sure, they say I said it well, but that's only because they're so nice they don't want to tell me the truth". This mindset can be very harmful, as it undermines your motivation and justifies you to give up and stop moving forward.

Here is a list of tips that can help you focus on the positive aspects and become more objective and less skeptical about your accomplishments:

• Accept compliments, and don't waste energy questioning the sincerity of those who show you appreciation.
• Write down all the positive comments you receive from others and review them whenever you feel low.
• Think about everything you've accomplished in your life and make a list of it, and revise the list as often as you feel the need to do so.

2. Assuming your feelings are always valid: 

Since you failed the exam, do you feel like a failure? Do you believe that your feeling of shame stems from your inability to complete something you set out to do? No matter how genuine your emotions are, they are still only emotions. Even though you may feel as though they are a force, emotions are unrelated to reality. It is the outcome of your interpretations of what is happening to you, whether conscious or unconscious.

So, practice separating yourself from your emotions. Try to avoid using the pronoun "I" and express your emotions using different words. To distance yourself from your emotions, say: "I suffer from anger" rather than: "I am angry." The amygdala, the area of the brain that controls an individual's instinctive physiological response to a threatening situation and prompts a fight-or-flight response, responds less when feelings are recognized. Additionally, it stimulates the prefrontal cortex, which aids in rational thought. Do not attempt to repress your emotions. Instead, be aware of it and take note of it as much as you can.

3. Believing that you understand others:

You assume that you know what other people think of you. An example of this is if you decide that your co-worker is quiet and doesn't talk too much because he hates you, and you may say: “I know how he sees me because I saw the way he looked at me.” In fact, you do not know what this person thinks of you, and you cannot accurately assume what anyone thinks. S, stop making assumptions. 

This co-worker may be shy or have issues that you don't know about. People have misunderstood my words, actions, or attitude on many occasions. If others can misjudge us so easily, we can just as easily misjudge them. When you try to read someone else's thoughts, you are just projecting your ideas about yourself onto it. For example, if you are highly critical of yourself, you are likely to imagine that the people around you are also highly critical of you. When this happens, you see the world in terms of what you believe to be reality. This can create a world in which you feel that colleagues or friends do not value you.

The worst part is that these emotions might end up manifesting themselves. People are more likely to hate you when you act differently around them when you believe they don't like you. Relationships can suffer greatly from misunderstandings and incorrect assumptions. Ask people if you genuinely want to know what they think of you. Nevertheless, don't assume that those in your life are aware of your opinions.

4. Not distinguishing between duties and necessities:

Take a piece of paper and write five sentences that begin with “I should.” Then ask yourself why do you think you should do these things? The words we use every day have an enormous impact in our lives. Words like “I have to” or “must” may seem harmless, but they limit our choices in life. If you have a lot of things in your life, it usually means that you have a lot of expectations, as to how you should act. 

These expectations stem from your beliefs, which are often the result of what your parents or society have told you that you should do. If this belief system does not align with who you are, you risk being subject to expectations, "duties," and "necessities." And all of this reduces happiness.

If you do not act the way you should act, you are likely to punish or flog yourself, which is why the phrase “maybe” is the best choice. It can give you more freedom in things. Instead of saying, "I should have done that," you can say, "I could have done that."

5. Overgeneralization:

Overgeneralizations include thoughts like, "I lost my job, so I'll never find a job again," or "I always do the wrong thing." Be careful when you find yourself using words like never, always, or all the time, as you may be overgeneralizing. These three statements are so absolute that they are seldom an accurate description of reality. 

Often, they are the result of self-interpretations, which can be very destructive. I recommend that you start to notice the way you use these words when you talk to yourself, your partner, or other people. These words are not usually used if you want to create harmonious relationships.

6. There is a chain of reactions to negative thoughts: 

Have you ever given it some thought as to precisely what led up to your most recent bout of depression? Most of the time, our inability to halt the flow of negative thoughts is what leads to depression, and regrettably, even one small negative thought can set off a domino effect that spirals into a depressive episode.

One day when I was a little sad, I asked myself why and tried to pinpoint the main culprit. I soon realized that the cause of my bad mood was a petty thought that I wasn't even aware of. For example, knee pain would negatively affect my mood to the point where I would fall into destructive thought patterns, way faster than I can handle.

Therefore, analyze your last thoughts and try to determine the first thing that triggered your feelings, was it a logical reason? And please don't torment yourself with the worst version of yourself and your life by focusing your energy on all your problems at once, when they are dealt with individually, most problems are not that important.

7. Add your opinion to the facts:

When making decisions, sticking to the facts will help us steer clear of a lot of pain. Nevertheless, we frequently find ourselves unable to resist adding our minor observations and opinions to the relevant facts. For the majority of us, these observations and opinions are unfavorable and only serve to make us feel bad.

In conclusion:

Playing the game of separating facts from opinions in your daily life is a great way to stop self-destructing with negative opinions and self-criticism. When you are being harsh with yourself, consider whether the things you are telling yourself are true or just your opinions. You can play this game with other people as well. When someone criticizes you, check to see if they are expressing an opinion or a fact about you.