18 Ways to Come Back Stronger After Failure

Failures are part of life. Heinz was started by a person who failed as a vegetable vendor. Even with ambitious plans and diligent labor, failure is still possible. Steve Jobs was once fired from Apple, the company he started. According to the Small Business Administration in the United States of America, half of new businesses will cease operations after five years.

These facts are not helpful at all; seeing your achievements falter can be frustrating, and worse, you may feel helpless and begin to doubt your abilities. But before you get lost in a cycle of negativity, remember that you can recover from failure and come back stronger than you were before.

18 tips from scientists and entrepreneurs to overcome failure and rebuild your confidence:

1. Don't suppress your negative feelings:

Allow yourself to experience any bad feelings. Because your expectations for the future you imagined have not been satisfied, it is fair to feel sorry for the loss and pain. Suffering might be lessened by feeling sorry for the things you lost.

Professor of Management Science, Alfred Marcus, at the University of Minnesota, said: “Following a failure, it is common to feel disappointed and unhappy. These feelings do not fade right away since there is a natural period during which grief persists. However, if we are strong-willed and allow ourselves to express this feeling, we are able to recover.”

2. Do not allow grief to persist for too long:

Barbara Corcoran, a journalist and businesswoman, is best known for her talk about the TV show Shark Tank. She was initially rejected. In a letter to author Mark Burnett, she said, "I consider your rejection a wonderful miracle because everything I have achieved in my life came after failure."

Corcoran's participation in the show was revisited, and she was allowed to take part in it. She attributes her success to her resilience, “Successful people are distinguished by the fact that they don't wallow in self-pity for very long and instead view failure as a learning experience.”

Some entrepreneurs suggested setting a date to return to work so that the feeling of despair does not last long. For example, Jeremy Bloom gave himself, after his loss at the 2006 Olympic Games, a period of 48 hours to be alone and review what happened, but after the end of this period, he returned to work again. Bloom said, “This commitment to the future is essential to overcome the difficulties.”

3. Be honest with yourself:

Professor Marcus said, "Don't go for justifications; remember how it went clearly," and ask for help from a mentor or a friend if necessary. This is about feeling responsible. Marcus also said, "The people you're going to turn to are the ones you want to show that you've failed but that you've learned from failure and will maintain your progress."

Create ways to face your failures openly. For example, Nerdwallet has what’s called a "failure board," where employees post their failures and the lessons they've learned from them. Acknowledging mistakes can be painful, but it is necessary to ensure that they will not be repeated.

4. Forgive yourself:

Six years ago, business coach Gene Hammett collapsed because of a bad deal that went out of his control; his income was cut off, and he had to deal with expensive and cumbersome legal cases.

He saw his friends dealing with some difficulties and learned from them how self-tolerance could achieve greater resilience. Although his problems were his own, he realized that he was not the only one who suffered from failure. Hammett said, "I was able to let go of the pain and take responsibility for what happened, and forgiving myself was the most important lesson in my life."

5. Find out what makes you happy:

Do a hobby you love or choose a place where you feel pleasure. Barbara Fredrickson, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, said, "Positive thinking keeps depression-related disappointment from escalating during trying situations. The secret to encouraging perseverance is this positivity, sometimes referred to as the "cancellation mechanism" in psychology."

Negative emotions hinder recovery, fuel feelings of fear and stress, and make it difficult to think creatively or find clear solutions. Conversely, positive emotions enable you to see a broader horizon. Fredrickson said, “When you can create positive feelings or perspectives, it helps you get back on track. It's not that you return to a positive feeling after recovery; it's the positive feeling that drives the recovery process.”

6. Remember the good things in your life:

Businessman Matt Mayberry recommended listing the things that make you the most happy. This list served as a practical tool, and Mayberry said, “If you face failure, this list will serve to remind you of the good things in your life.” Scientists have discovered that making a list of the good things that a person has can have a direct impact on positive feelings.

The Grand Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, created an online journal to promote satisfaction. Researchers found that people who repeatedly reported things that made them feel good during a given day rated that day as more positive overall. People who felt grateful toward others more than things were 150% more cheerful.

7. Practice Meditation:

Musical star Russell Simmons saw that meditation had a practical effect. He proposed to devote 40 minutes daily to thinking calmly and peacefully. He said that meditation clears his mind of things that distracted his focus, helped him direct his creativity, and helped him cope with the high and low pace of work.

“Entrepreneurs rejoice when one of their ideas succeeds, but they get depressed when they fail,” Simmons said, “and what you need to understand is that nothing keeps up the same pace, and what you need to focus on is the work itself, which makes you happier and makes you work better.”

8. Focus on helping, not winning:

When you fail, look for ways to be helpful to others. John Brubaker worked as a coach for the University Lacrosse team in the late 1990s but achieved nothing. The truth is that the harder he worked for his team to win, the more they lost. So John's mentor suggested reframing his thinking to focus on helping the team rather than winning. He shifted his focus to helping each player reach their best performance, with little discussion about winning. The result was that the more he helped his team, the more wins they achieved.

He later entered the sales business. His business initially faltered, but the coach reminded him that he should focus on helping rather than selling, and this shift reshaped his thinking. Brubaker described this type of thinking as seemingly generous and helping people thrive, but when his thinking changed, sales improved. “When you focus on helping others, the results you were seeking come on their own,” he said.

9. Take the chance:

Failures undeniably cause psychological stress. Still, in these difficult times, there are ways to cope. Everyone has a certain level of endurance under pressure, which is the optimal level when work becomes enjoyable, but if we exceed this level, we will risk making bad decisions in addition to health problems.

“To be able to manage these difficulties,” said psychologist David Ballard, “think about the opportunities that this stress creates. These difficulties may have a positive aspect, such as saving money and time that you can use for something else.” Finding the opportunity inherent in difficulties helps you progress. “People who have difficulty regaining their strength often see these challenges as insurmountable,” Ballard said.

10. Don't care too much about winning:

Jeremy Bloom is currently the CEO of Integrate Software Company. Before entering the business, he was an NFL player and an Olympic skater, but he also experienced a setback, and despite winning the World Cup, he lost in two Olympic games. Several things helped Jeremy progress, including the fact that he stopped thinking about winning.

Bloom introduced this idea in Wayne Dyer's book, The Power of Intention. After many years of competition, Bloom said that playing without thinking about winning initially made him feel weak. Still, he continued to embrace this idea, and this experience led him to feel free.

Jeremy won more World Cup medals than anyone in the competition's history. Most importantly, adopting this idea helped him set priorities, which is something any entrepreneur should remember. Jeremy said, “This idea gives you the peace of mind to be able to focus on important things, such as product delivery and customer success.”

11. Imagine the success you want:

Some studies have shown that the mind can be “tricked” into helping you get something done. In a study I conducted with 30 participants over the course of 12 weeks to strengthen their pinky finger’s muscles, some used physical training, while others used mental perception by imagining they had a stronger pinky. Physical training was more effective, increasing pinky strength by 53%, and mental training achieved a 35% increase in pinky strength.

The researchers explained that mental training may have stimulated signals in the brain that lead to increased muscle activity, so you can employ this method when you are working to accomplish something by imagining success and then reaching it quickly.

12. Start with simple steps:

Perseverance is good, but consuming valuable resources on multiple failed attempts can be foolish. At the same time, you can invest them in other projects. Economist Tim Harford advised in his book Adapting: Why Does Success Always Start with Failure? not to  insist on taking risks or betting on dangerous steps.

Ethan Mollick, a professor of management at the University of Pennsylvania, suggested that instead of taking a considerable risk, you take a small step. He said that these small steps help you check the probability of success and draw a clear plan for it again, and through many small steps rich in information, you can learn and establish success slowly.

13. Do not personalize failure:

When you fail, you may doubt your abilities. You may think you don't have enough intelligence and that you will never do. Don't personalize your failure to overcome this problem, but keep reminding yourself that things will change and you can make a difference.

Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck and Ph.D. student Lauren Howe studied how people deal with rejection. They compared fixed-minded people—people who believe their traits don't change—and growth-minded people—people who believe personality is changeable.

The result was that those with a growth mindset did not view rejection as an indicator of their worth; instead, they viewed it as a way to improve themselves, which made failure less likely to occur in the future. On the other hand, those with fixed mindsets treated rejection as evidence of a defect in their personality and felt embarrassed. Failure is not a black marker that marks the personality forever; instead, it is an opportunity to demonstrate abilities and increase flexibility.

14. Listen to your feelings:

Negative feelings do not have to lead to negative actions. Experts say that feelings such as guilt, envy, anxiety, and anger can be warnings to protect us from bad behavior, whether our own or others. So focus on isolating your emotions.

Breathing deeply can help you assess whether your heart is racing, according to a professional expert. It is a sign of feeling tense or heavy in the chest, which could be a sign of sadness. Consider the cause of this emotion, the best way to handle it, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of that choice of action. This technique helps transform negative emotions into inspiration to take positive action.

15. Keep working:

When you're ready to try again, don't do it randomly; do it with a consistent action plan. Behavioral scientist James Clear said, "Work today is the key to building momentum, and daily failures are just like red lights. When you drive, a red light will appear from time to time, but if you maintain a good average speed, you will inevitably reach your destination despite the delay and pause during your journey. Focusing your efforts on achieving the goal and turning them into a habit will reduce the impact of individual failures."

16. Do not live in isolation:

When you fail, you may feel unwilling to socialize often with others, but staying alone with your thoughts will not help you overcome the problem. Spend time with friends and family and discuss your failures with them. Once you feel better, start participating in online events and conferences to connect with people who share your interests. You may participate in groups or create a Facebook group for business owners to share stories about failure experiences and subsequent successes. You should know that your failure is not the first and will not be the last.

17. Be brave and try again:

Don't be afraid to try again when you have a great idea and want to put it into practice. You may contact consultants or former employees, so be ready when you talk to them about the questions they will ask about your project. Do not express yourself from a position of weakness or as if you are apologizing, but show them what you have learned and how you will apply it.

Your self-confidence and hard-earned wisdom will inspire your bravery, but the experience will only make you stronger if you get rejected again.

18. Remember your victories:

It is essential to remember your victories when experiencing failure. Be kind to yourself and remember that you have been flexible and resourceful before and will return as you were before.