10 Things You Should Give Up to Get Yourself Back on Track

My husband Mark and I received a new thank you email from a reader and longtime coaching client named Kevin, who said that our books and coaching session related to M&A, helped him and his wife maintain a positive, certified mindset while they were struggling in their lives, and I helped them through one of the hardest times of their lives. Some words in the letter almost made me cry, he said:

Note: This article is from the blogger Angel Chernoff, in which she talks about 10 things we need to give up to get ourselves back on track.

“After my back injury, losing my job because of it, my wife and I being kicked out of our apartment, I moved in with my wife’s parents, and I was taking care of my five-year-old girl after she had a fatal bout of sore throat, I was stuck in a tragic situation for a long time. One day my wife and I were sitting and I was feeling so sorry for myself, then my old college friend called me, crying, "My baby Melissa, she just died in a car accident", after I heard this, all of a sudden, I felt lucky.

Kevin continued, "It was the shock of my friend's tragic loss that prompted me to review four pages of notes I had previously taken from your book and your most recent coaching session. This time I really comprehend your wisdom, and suddenly I changed my whole outlook from negative to positive, also I realised that there were people who needed me, and many reasons to do my best, with all I had to start over, So I started letting go of all the negative things I was thinking that were holding me back, and then I took a bold step forward. It's been almost a year since I've done this, and I'm happy to say you were right."

If you can relate Kevin's situation to a one you've been through and you are willing to move on, I want to remind you that today is the first day of the rest of your life, and the road ahead is open. You can get back on track.

But first, you must:

1. Stop pretending you should be what you used to be:

When times get tough, our worst battles are often between what we remember and what we currently feel. Hence, one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to hold out, fight harder or when to take your memories with you and move forward.

Sometimes you have to forget the person you were before, and remember who you were meant to be and who you are today.

2. Stop scolding yourself:

Being kind to yourself in thoughts, words, and actions is just as important as being kind to others, so offer yourself compliments, and love then work to overcome your fears and anger. Instead of hiding from your problems, help yourself move beyond them.

This is all about self-care. It is about facing the inner problems that make you think you are insignificant and learning to see that you are really beautiful. Not because you don't see your flaws, but because you know you have to have your flaws to balance your strengths.

3. Stop regretting and clinging to the events of the past:

When you are stuck in regrets about the life you thought you should have lived, you end up losing the good things you have, and at first, life won't look how you want it to look, but when the time is right, you will realize that it was just right. So be grateful for the things that didn't work, since it made room for things that would work. Also, be grateful to those who have turned away from you, because they make room for people who will not turn away from you. As they say: “Every new beginning comes from the end of another beginning.” 

4. Stop indulging in the negativity around you:

Being positive in negative times is not a foolish optimism; Rather, it is based on the fact that human history is not only a history of tragedy, it is also a history of success, sacrifice, courage, kindness, and growth.

What we choose to affirm in this complex history will determine how well we live, and if we only seek the worst, it will destroy our ability to do our best. If we remember those many times and places where people behaved well and went well, it gives us energy, and at least the possibility to change the direction of this world into a different one. 

If we do what we ought, even if it is a small act, we will not have to wait for the great and perfect future; The future is an endless series of present times, and to live now as we think we ought to live, that is in defiance of all the negativity around us. It is in itself an astonishing victory.

5. Stop thinking that other people's lives are easier than yours:

When times get really tough, remember this simple truth: You can't have something worthwhile easily, when you're struggling for something important to you, you may feel like your life isn't fair, look at everyone around you, and realize that everyone you see is struggling with something. For them, it's just as difficult as you're going through.

6. Quit trying to be somebody else in life:

Stop balancing where you are with anyone else's. It won't move you forward, it won't improve your situation, it won't help you find happiness, and it only feeds feelings of inferiority and shame and keeps you stuck. The truth is that there is not a single right path in life; The right path for someone will not necessarily be the right path for you, and that is a good thing. Your journey is not right or wrong, good or bad; Rather, it is completely different. 

Your life is not meant to look exactly like everyone else's. You are not quite like everyone else, you are a unique person with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs, so stop balancing your life with the lives of others, and start living your life as you wish. You may not always end up where you want to be, but you will eventually reach where you want to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time, and trust yourself to achieve the maximum benefit in life.

7. Stop letting strangers judge you:

People know your name, not your story, and they've heard what you've done but they don't understand what you've been through, so do not let their opinion affect you. After all, it doesn't matter what other people think of you, it's what you think about yourself that matters. sometimes you have to do exactly what's right for you and your life without caring what your life looks like to people who don't know you. 

8. Stop letting toxic relationships frustrate you:

Not all toxic relationships are intentionally painful. Some of them include people who care about you and people who have good intentions, but who are not right for you, because their needs and way of life force you to compromise yourself and your happiness. They are not inherently bad people, but they are not the right people to spend time with every day.

Although it is difficult, we must distance ourselves from them enough to give ourselves space to live. You cannot simply destroy yourself daily for someone else's sake, so make your safety a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone, abandoning a friend, or removing yourself from a painful situation, you have every right to walk away and create a healthy space for yourself.

9. Let go of overthinking and worrying about everything:

When your fears and anxieties make you look deeply into things, it creates problems for you instead of fixing them. If you think too much, you will not have time to think of being happy. Worrying does not solve tomorrow's problems, it takes away today's peace and potential. Life is too short to do so. 

10. Stop thinking that you are not strong enough to take another step forward:

You can always move forward no matter if it seems impossible. Over time the sadness may not completely disappear, but after a while, it will not be as heartbreaking as it was at the beginning, so take deep breaths, you'll be fine, and remember you've been through the same thing before, you've felt this sense of unease, anxiety, and fear, and you've survived.

Take another breath, and know that you can survive this time too. Since these feelings can't break you down, they are painful and exhausting, but you can bear them. In the end, they will pass perhaps not immediately, but soon they will fade, and when that happens you will look behind you, and find gratitude for not doubting your resilience.

Conclusion:

The truth is that you have to believe in your strength enough to take another step forward every day. When you feel otherwise, that feeling is just a feeling and not a fact, so the only point you should benefit from in this article is:

The worst and the first place we lose a foothold is in our heads. If you think something is permanent, it is permanent. If you think you are internally broken, you are. If you think you have reached your limits, you have, and if you think that you will never heal, and never grow, you will not, so you have to change your mindset. You have to see everything that hinders you in your life, every obstacle, and every limitation as temporary because everything in life is temporary. This is the truth.