Unconditional Love: Meaning, Importance, and to Whom to Give It?

The story begins in childhood, where the roots of everything are . From the moment a mother says to her child: “Why didn't you arrange your toys?    Mommy is sad and won't love you if you don't put everything back in its place." As for the child, anything is easier than losing his mother's love, so the poor child rushes to his room to tidy up the mess of the fun time he spent playing because Mommy will not love a child who does not arrange his toys.

Then the mother says in another situation: “Mommy loves you because you kept your clothes clean, and you excelled in your exam and got full grades." Here the child realizes that any chocolate spot on his clothes and any missing part of the grade in his exam means losing his mother's love, and he feels, if repeated drops in grades and dirty clothes, he does not deserve his mother's love.

This child grows up and becomes a man who says to his wife or fiancée: "Don't talk to your co-worker", “We will get married provided you leave university.” This man may be blamed at first glance, but after a look at his past, we discover that the concept of love is distorted for him because it is related to conditions that satisfy the partner who grants it. If the other partner does not fulfill these conditions, this means that he does not like him because love is associated with obedience for him.

How many examples do we have in our lives of the spread of this kind of love, but have we ever tried to give love without any conditions? This kind of love that specialists call "unconditional love” is one of the most important steps in expressing feelings of love and respect. Let's dive into its concept and importance and find out whom we give it to in this article.

The Concept of Unconditional Love:

The concept of unconditional love is inspired by God Almighty’s love for all of His creatures and all human beings of different colors, races, deeds, and even sinners among them. His Almighty opens the door of His mercy and repentance to Him in front of all sinners by simply getting their sincerity.

All religions encourage the spread of love among humans and the Prophet Muhammad, may God bless him and grant him peace, made love a condition of faith when he said: “None of you believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” This is a statement that this love is unconditional. Man's self-love is an innate thing, offering it the best no matter how wrong or abusive it is and doing everything for its good.

And the Noble Prophet calls us to love others as we love ourselves, so we forgive them for their mistakes and strive to give them everything we hope to get. He raised the status of others as brothers to elevate their entitlement to the love that man bestows upon them.

The Holy Qur’an also contains references to unconditional love, specifically in the relationship between spouses. As God Almighty says: " and put affection and mercy between you" [Surah Al-Rum, Verse 21], And affection means love, while mercy means tolerance and forgiveness for slips, so this love is merciful, tolerant, and unconditional, with the other party being perfect and far from the mistakes and flaws that are part of the human structure.

The concept of unconditional love is based on fundamentals in human psychology. Unconditional love involves one reaching a mental state to increase the well-being of the other, and the term unconditional love is widely used in family brochures and marriage guides, and it means liberating the feeling of love from all the restrictions that might hinder it from spreading.

Offering Unconditional Love:

We must emphasize that offering unconditional love brings happiness to the person giving it as much as the person receiving it. For example, many men complain about the change in their wives’ feelings towards them after the deterioration of their financial conditions or while they are going through financial hardships. In their prime, when they could provide the best for their families in terms of food, drink, clothes, and gifts, the love relationship was at its height. As for the failure to present these things, disputes and problems escalate, which indicates that the wife's love for her husband is conditional; She associates her love for him with his ability to secure the necessities of life for her and her children, and when he fails in this aspect, her feelings towards him subside, This happens unconsciously, but in the case of unconditional love, she will be patient with him and provide him with support and assistance and try to be the shoulder that he leans on whenever the days get him tired.

On the other hand, in the case of a wife's illness, disputes abound between spouses, for instance, and some men resort to marrying others as soon as the wife is unable to meet the man's physical and psychological requirements, we are not here discussing the legality of this matter and the right of the man, but we try to point out that a man's love for his wife is conditional in such cases, as he links his love for her to her physical and psychological capacity.

In case the man loves his wife unconditionally, He stands by her side and provides her with the psychological and moral support she needs to recover from her illness. And many men followed with their wives the diets imposed by their diseases; Like following a diabetes diet and abstaining from eating sweets to support them, in addition others made their hair cut, in solidarity with a loved one suffering from cancer whose treatment causes hair loss.

Unconditional love may seem ideal, but in fact, it is something that exists, and It requires a lot of awareness and spiritual enlightenment to reach it. Jesus called for it when he said: “If someone hits you on the right cheek, turn your left cheek to him.” Which is a sign of tolerance, forgiveness, and Justifying the offense of others, these actions can only be issued out of unconditional love, which involves a great love for God Almighty and all His creatures.

Importance of Unconditional Love:

1. The importance of unconditional love lies in the fact that it is the root from which branches of love and affection branch out in family and emotional relationships; It contributes to creating an atmosphere of affection, peace, and appreciation, a mother's love for her children is perhaps the most widespread example of unconditional love, it is a real and realistic example, but in some cases, her words do not express that, Children are naturally affected by what is said to them, and build their personal opinions and beliefs based on it.
2. In our previous example a mother expresses her feelings of love to her son in the event of academic superiority, in this way, he unconsciously associates his deserving feeling of love with academic excellence and superiority. Then, if he fails academically, he will find himself unworthy of love.
3. This feeling is reinforced by the mother’s discrimination between the children, by giving rewards, gifts, and special treatment to her superior children; Which creates in the less attained a kind of feeling of jealousy, inferiority, and a lack of self-esteem, here we do not question the mother's love for her uneducated children; Rather, we focus on the necessity of expressing her love for them in all cases, even if they make mistakes or fall short.
4. Here comes the importance of unconditional love; A child whose mother gives him love in all cases, will grow up balanced and self-esteem and has high self-entitlement. He does not enter into a toxic relationship that drains his energy and feelings, and has to do anything in exchange for love.
5. The importance of spreading the concept of unconditional love is to enhance understanding and compassion between spouses so that each of them races to offer love to the other, sympathize with him, forgive his slips, and take his hand for the best, this will certainly reflect positively on the family atmosphere; Human beings are emotional creatures by nature, and then the children are brought up in a family where harmony, compassion, and expression of love prevail, If we can cultivate this feeling of warmth, acceptance and unconditional love in the family, which is the basic building block of society, What kind, fraternal and sympathetic society will we have?
6. The importance of unconditional love is that it helps to accept the other and assimilate his shape, ethnic or religious difference; Which leads to the creation of harmonious societies, there be no discrimination of any kind, if unconditional love were widespread in America, the Negroes would not have been persecuted and ill-treated, and Muslims would not have suffered from ostracism and abuse in Burma.

To Whom Do We Give Unconditional Love?

Some of us may think that unconditional love involves identifying with the other, Reducing the value of oneself in front of others, and giving preference to the other over them, this is very wrong; for the most deserving of unconditional love is ourselves, our human selves, which may make mistakes or injure as part of its nature, this is not bad for it, let us accept it and accept our weakness, our humanity, our volatility, and our right to make mistakes, Let us love ourselves unconditionally for achievement, excellence, formal perfection, or any other consideration.

Our children deserve to be given unconditional love, we do not associate showing love to them with the cleanliness of their clothes, the arrangement of their toys, or their studies in the field we desire. Or their obedience to us is obligatory to marry a specific person or work in a specific field, Unconditional love allows us to accept that they are different from us, And the lack of them being copies of our dreams.

The partner deserves to be given unconditional love, He is our companion in the journey of life, with its sweetness and bitterness, we don't have to set the conditions to give our love to him/her, and every individual in life deserves to be loved unconditionally, no matter how different or similar we are; He is our brother in humanity; We should not confine love to individuals who belong to our religion or our race, love is the religion of everyone.

Conclusion:

Unconditional love is a message proclaimed by all religions and divine messages. It is the value that must be instilled in the heart of every human being to raise their merit and appreciate their value, and it is in harmony with the place and time and others, and turns into a mirror that reflects his love for himself in the form of the bestowal of love on others, there will be no place left for grudges and wars in human societies, and harmony and peace prevail throughout the vastness of the earth.