Tips for Enhancing Self-care

Have you ever forgotten to take care of yourself? Perhaps your calendar is full of tasks and appointments and you need to juggle all your commitments and you just don't seem to have enough hours in the day.

Note: This article is by Rose-Marie Sorokin, who shares her experience with increasing her self-care.

But the truth is that if you don't take care of yourself, it won't be long before you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and unable to care about anyone or anything.

I have been working in the field of translation for many years, and I used to spend all hours of the day and sometimes the night at my work. I enjoyed it, but I had neither life nor time for myself. My life was full of work and punctual deadlines, so as time went on, I got really tired and I suffered long and hard pains in my back, shoulders, and neck and started to wonder, is this just life?

Of course, sometimes we may need to put in more hours to manage our business, or we may have times when we need to be there for a loved one who may not be feeling well, but even in such difficult times, we also need to take care of ourselves.

But does self-care mean selfishness? I remember many years ago giving a talk on self-care at the Cardiac Support Unit at Maidstone Hospital, when I talked about how important it is to spend time with yourself and do activities to enhance your wellness specifically, then a woman said: “But of course this is a selfish act and you have to put others first before thinking about yourself.”

Self-care does not mean being selfish, but it is about self-respect and love, and it has nothing to do with caring less about others. So, let's imagine that you are a cup and everyone else is a cup too. Your cup must be filled with self-care and self-love, and you can only share this love if your cup is full and pour into other people's cups with care and concern, but if your cup is half empty, you will not have a surplus to give to others and it becomes very difficult to share it.

If you find it difficult to make time for self-care, you may have a basic lack of self-love. You may make decisions to win the approval of others instead of doing what your heart tells you to do. The author, educator, and musician Jamie Catto speaks of this as an "approval addiction", or in other words, “people-pleasing.”

Signs that you suffer from an “approval addiction” and seek to please others

1. Doing things you don't like

That is, you often do things you don't like in order to belong to a group and make others happy.

2. Taking care of others

That is, you spend a significant amount of your time caring for others at the expense of your own happiness and well-being.

3. The search for satisfaction and approval

That is, you always seek the approval of others to feel successful and accomplished.

4. Guilt

That is, you often feel guilty about many things, blame yourself, and direct your anger inside you.

5. Curb your talents

That is, you often underestimate your own talents so that others can succeed in their lives.

6. The lack of assertiveness

That is, you are never assertive and find it difficult to make simple decisions because you worry about how the decision will affect others.

7. Not telling the truth

You often lie and hide the facts because you worry about how other people feel about it.

8. Underestimate yourself

That is, you allow people to treat you in an abusive and exploitative way and you know it.

9. Not speaking up and expressing your opinion

That is, you find it very difficult to talk, no matter how you feel or what happens. You never give your opinion or tell anyone how you really feel.

Tips to take more care of yourself

1. Plan to enjoy your own time each week by doing something you really enjoy, such as meeting up with a friend, getting a massage, reading a book, or even just relaxing.
2. Plan your work week to avoid tiredness and overwork. Also, specify when you can work without interruption, and times when you will be “available” for messages, etc., and prepare this plan on a suitable lunch break.
3. Join a group of people who share your interests, such as a reading group, group of friends, or walking group.
4. Believe in yourself and stand up for it.
5. Plan some yoga or set aside time for movement during the week.
6. Meditate daily for 10 to 30 minutes.
7. Determine the right time to stop and rest, and comprehend the signals your body is sending you.
8. Set a designated day once a month and stick to it. You can spend the day at home, go to the spa, or go for a ride somewhere new.
9. Laugh like you're watching a funny movie or spend time with someone who makes you laugh.