Tips That Weaken Your Self-confidence

There are a lot of common tips about increasing self-confidence that may work for most people, but they do not necessarily fit you. You are unique, and everyone is unique in some way.

When you lose contact with your inner self and with your real person, you will look like a lost and confused person who is unable to find your lost confidence, which you have sought desperately. Your real self is your compass, which is the system that determines your path, and without it, you will be like a ship without a rudder lost at sea without a specific direction. This is why those tips do not provide you with any benefit.

When you need your self-confidence most, why do you look for it and you don't find it anywhere? Or when you're worried about talking to others, having a job interview, or even meeting new people, why is your self-confidence gone without warning?

The reason is that the standard advice on how to be more stable and self-confident has left you more anxious and even less self-confident.

If you feel as bad and upset in your stomach as I am, and you feel nervous and sick, then all that feeling is worse than what you said before, and all your efforts to be more confident made you feel worried that something is not going right because the advice to increase trust that suits some people did not suit you, and this is a really good reason.

You are not the problem:

You may have read all the standard general advice on how to be more confident about yourself and your abilities, such as, speak louder, raise your voice, lower your voice, walk faster, lean forward, lean back, hands on hips, feet apart, hands together, eyes fixed, wear eye-catching clothes, and sharp look at everything that surrounds you.

These are great tips, except one small detail, which is they don't suit you, or they don't suit me. They are all external tips, which cause you annoyance and anger and may mislead you. They are of the type of "make it up until you master it," and if you can't, continue to make it up, and until then you will die of stress, or shame when walking and talking, presenting a funny image of yourself that you have become.

Or you can try another way to ensure that your confidence never fails you:

• A way that is in line with your values.
• A way that is in line with your inner confidence.
• A way to enhance your self-esteem, don't diminish it.
• A way that is in harmony with your true self.
• A way in which you are power, not weakness.

Confidence Chart: How to unleash your inner confidence and self-esteem?

Learn to feel good about yourself, unleash your real confidence through experimental strategies and techniques, and discover how to express your opinion with confidence without creating conflict or jeopardizing relationships.

Here are 7 tips that count, but they can cripple your true self-confidence:

1. Speak out loud:

Attracting attention in this noisy and crowded world can be a sign of trust, but demanding attention from others by raising your voice in an abnormal manner will not draw attention to the real reason you want.

You have a normal voice that reflects your true personality, and trying to amplify your voice level will not increase your confidence or encourage you more to appear, but rather it looks like a shadow chaser. There is no need for the loud voice during the course of your life to prove your presence and be heard, as you can get more respect and attention by showing your nature and truth.

Gandhi never raised his voice, but his words were heard by an entire nation.

2. Walk quickly:

There's a wide difference between walking fast and walking with a purpose. Making sure where you go shows real confidence, regardless of your speed, but walking faster than normal will make you feel rushed, look uncontrollable, and your confidence will not increase to help you with this situation. So, instead of pretending to walk fast in the hope that you realize your self-confidence, slow down and progress according to your normal speed, and let your confidence walk beside you.

3. Show your preoccupation:

"Preoccupation" is the new hallmark of success, and it is also a source of chaos, confusionو and inefficiency, and you will have no hope of increasing your self-confidence when stress dominates your day. So, forget to be the person that all people resort to and be yourself. Do a little mastery, so your confidence will flourish when everything you focus on is clear.

4. Wear an impressive outfit:

"Dress for attention," no doubt you've heard that advice more than once, but in today's credit card age, why is it important to wear a luxury brand? Not much, and for your self-confidence, you'll feel uncomfortable if you're wearing a blatant dress that says, “Look at me”.

Self-awareness and self-confidence don't get along with each other. What's impressive is having confidence in your clothes. Remember, long after people have forgotten what you look like, they will remember the feeling you left inside them.

5. Communicate with your eyes:

The ability to look into anyone's eyes can show that you have nothing to hide, and can leave you feeling very uncomfortable if you keep staring longer than normal. Winning this staring competition will not make your confidence shine. This embarrassing intensity will make you feel more vulnerable and watched, so there is no need to fake false eye contact. 

6. Take a strong standing position:

I read the tip: Stand up and spread your legs shoulder-width apart with your hands on your hips, lean back on your chair, and clasp your fingers together.

How you stand and sit can tell a story about how you feel in a situation, but as an honest person, if you're pretending to stand, you're more likely to look like a bad second-rate movie actor than a Hollywood star.

This kind of acting will disrupt your self-confidence and make you shake with fear, so instead let your real confidence help you play the only role you will win, which is to be yourself.

“Be yourself, all roles have already been taken” - Irish poet Oscar Wilde.

7. Shake hands strongly:

First impressions are important and may be difficult to change in the end, so you already believe that the way you shake hands can fool others into believing that you have the lion's trust.

It is assumed that a strong grip followed by two or three moves up and down indicates that you have unwavering self-confidence, but on the inside, this kind of pretentious bragging is likely to have a contradictory effect. It can leave you feeling stressed and competitive, and your confidence will contradict your real values and refuse to be a part of them.

You want to make a good first impression? Remember the advice of the American cynic P.J. O'Rourke's: “A strong and hearty handshake makes a good first impression, and you will never be forgiven if you don't stick to it”, so give a handshake that reflects what you can rise to, and be yourself.

In conclusion: Trust is an inner sensation

All these tips are still good tips for anyone who is not like you. Your trust is only designed to thrive in the person you were born in, and your unique version of trust is inside you. So, let your true confidence shake your inner world and show what is outside.

If you need some help getting this inner confidence out, you're not alone. It's easy to understand the concept of being normal, and always being yourself, but in new or difficult situations it can seem incredibly difficult, but when you don't listen to outside advice and act yourself, you'll be more confident.