Things You Must Remember So that Life Does Not Precede You

One of the biggest myths that plague people's minds is that you are supposed to achieve certain things at a certain age, and there may be benefits to balancing yourself against your peers.

For example, someone who excels in a field in which you want to advance can be an inspiration to you, and can push you forward more than you thought possible. On the other hand, when you see on social media pictures of children showing talent, some people may spend decades perfecting it, so it's not surprising that you feel worthless.

What drives you to compare could be something simple, like your friend has a good job, owns their own home, has a strong romantic relationship. This friend doesn’t have to be a particular person from the online world. When you balance yourself with others and you are having a hard time starting your career and struggling in your love life for so long, you will feel left behind.

When you feel these feelings, remember the following things:

1. Life is about following your own path:

When you say that you feel left behind, you must remember that this is wrong. Underdevelopment refers to having a formal scale about where we are supposed to be and the things we are supposed to achieve at a certain age. However, this doesn't exist, and it is the result of what society considers normal and our strict standards for where we think we're supposed to be. 

You may feel left behind because your friends have started a family, as well as their careers and establishing their own home, but there's no rule that says you're supposed to own these same things.

It is said that life is like a long marathon and not a sprint race that ends soon until the last one starts. However, this is an inaccurate statement from both sides because it indicates that your life is a competition with others, and in fact it is more like a series of the best results that you achieve personally, so you determine your own path. When you live like this, you will never feel left behind because you are on your own, and your accomplishments are what you choose to put your energy into.

As the American Author Earl Nightingale said, “Success is the gradual growth of your ideal goal that you believe in.”

2. Lack of concern for societal expectations:

Young people often feel left behind because they have difficulty in adulthood, and this is because they have finished the education system that revolves around excellence and achievement. So, it is not surprising that they still compare themselves with their peers, oblivious to the fact that they are adults and have the freedom to make their own decisions, and that they are not constrained by the framework of what is considered successful.

There are unwritten rules and imagined stressors from the culture in which you grew up. Many of these things are waiting until you are ready to do them, so keep that in mind when facing these stressors, as American researcher Brene Brown said: "Stay on track, as balancing kills creativity and joy."

3. You don't have to find out everything:

This type of advice does not only apply to young people in their 20s. There are a lot of people in their 30s, 40s and 50s who look back on their lives and think they should be more advanced because of their experience.

As you get older, you will feel pressure to be more mature to “discover life”, which makes you feel like you are behind, and this is another thing that has nothing to do with reality. There is no specific requirement that we must understand our goals, as part of the fun in life is discovery.

It makes no sense to read about the success of people like British author JK Rowling and American Businessman Colonel Sanders late in their careers, when working on self-improvement. These examples are supposed to inspire hope that something good will definitely happen to you, but their success really has nothing to do with it. We don't have to figure out a solution to everything at all.

4. Life is full of ups and downs:

When someone makes you feel like you are behind them, then it's because you don't see the whole picture, especially on social media. Their life may not be as good as you think, or you may not be able to see their flaws or the unhappiness they choose to hide from people's eyes.

This is not meant to look at their inevitable failure in order to feel better, but it's a reminder that this can happen to anyone. There are times when you might stop applying or get rejected because of the unexpected, like losing a great job or getting divorced, so keep that in mind, for everything is fleeting. Keep working, enjoy your moments, and be grateful for what you have.

In conclusion:

There are things you should know to avoid feeling left behind, starting with the realization that life is not a competition in which you are “ahead” or “behind” others, and know that constant balancing with the things others have is detrimental to your well-being. For example, if your friend seems to have everything, be happy with their success and focus on your own progress rather than seeing it as a benchmark for your shortcomings.

There are no set rules for what you are supposed to do in your life or when you are supposed to do it. So, set your goals, come up with your own definition of success, and the next time you think you're undeveloped, sit back and realize that's not true because the world is not a great measure of the desired "must have" accomplishments.