Nine Things to Stop Doing During Difficult Times

One thing I'm pretty sure of is that the period between September 2008 and December 2009 was very difficult for us. In that seemingly short period of 15 months, Angel (my wife and partner on Mark and Angel's blog) lost her job, which has greatly impacted our livelihood. We also lost a close mutual friend to a heart attack. After recovering from all of the above and getting back on our feet, Angel's brother died suddenly.

Note: This article is taken from the writer “MARC CHERNOFF”, in which he tells us about his experience with some things to stop doing during difficult times.

You can only imagine how scary these losses were, and when they kept happening on top of one another, it was often hard for us to get out of bed in the morning to make the slightest progress on anything. Nevertheless, with time, we grew stronger, wiser, and more reverent of life.

Now, several years later, with so many other difficulties, I can honestly say that we have learned how to deal well with difficult times. It's never easy, but there are positive and negative ways to deal with difficult life situations. And that's just what this article is about: it's time to lessen your pain, no matter what it may be—a great catastrophe or a minor personal issue.

Nine things you should stop doing when you're going through tough times

1. Escaping the truth

When faced with a challenge for the first time, the majority of people prefer to ignore the hard reality. But when you choose to ignore the truth, it never disappears. On the contrary, if you do, you will discover that you are constantly living a lie. Don't do this to yourself since the truth haunts your thoughts every night; face it. Being dishonest won't help you escape the truth.

Confessing the truth at first can be bothersome, but it's okay; it will give you freedom. It is always better to be hurt by the truth than to lie, because the truth hurts only once and then gradually fades, while the lie hurts just as much every time you remember that you lived it.

2. Clinging to the idea that life is pain-free

Pain is part of life, and the pain of life has many forms. Didn't you go through all those different pains in your life? like the vacuum pain when you end an important stage in your life, when you take a new step, or when you move out of a familiar situation that you are used to and dive into something unknown and mysterious. In addition to the acute and increasing pain brought on by mistake and experience, as well as the agony of failure while discovering a better course of action. There is also the tremendous, shocking pain of finding out that everything you knew was not real or that everything you were planning was falling apart.

Success comes with more mysterious pain when you actually achieve your goals but later realize they are not exactly what you had hoped for. Success occasionally comes with warm aches and blissful moments when you realize you are having a perfect moment—a valuable moment of delight or contentment that, despite the fact that you know it won't last, will be with you forever.

Although many people forget or ignore this fact, pain is a good thing. It means that you breathe, try, and deal with the infinite possibilities in this world. Pain is for living people only, and it deserves to be fully accepted and dealt with while you have the chance.

3. Ruminating on the past

Sadly, people from all over the world are continuously sharing heartbreaking tales of what has occurred to them and how their entire outlook on life has changed to focus on getting past this incident from the past. This continues until they are no longer living the real-life events of the present but are instead focusing on something that no longer exists every day of their current existence.

We are a product of our past, but we should not be prisoners of it. You become a prisoner of the past when you cling to what no longer exists. If you are brave enough to say goodbye to the past, life will reward you with a new beginning. It may be difficult, but you have to let go and not cling anymore to what no longer exists. You have to realize that your survival in the past is like a foreign country; everything in it happens differently, and it has nothing to do with your present.

4. Resisting Change

Hard times are like powerful storms that come upon you, and not only do these storms block you from getting to the places you would otherwise have sought to go, but they also take away from you everything except the essential parts of your personality that cannot be changed, so that you see yourself for who you are, not just who you'd like to be.

In the end, you realize that you are here to weather these storms, sacrifice your time, and risk your feelings; you are here to suffer from life, and when you have been hurt, betrayed, or rejected, allow yourself some peace, close your eyes, and remember all those good times you had, all the sweetness you tasted, and everything you learned. Tell yourself how wonderful it was to live, then open your eyes and feel more alive.

Because without your efforts and pursuit, you will never grow. You must accept change, and in the darkest and most powerful storms, you catch an unexpected light inside you, and it is this light that illuminates your path.

5. Assuming the wors

Your worries control you. Unnecessary worrying and negative thinking will never lead to positive change. However, a positive attitude and a little bit of action can change everything. So if you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Getting hurt is something you can't prevent, but feeling miserable and powerless is your choice alone.

No matter how bad things are, you can always make them worse. Negative thinking always leads to negative outcomes, and positive thinking certainly leads to positive outcomes, but what limits your future chances is your current assumption of the worst odds. There are always better outcomes for people who make the most of the way things go.

6. Refusing to smile

Sometimes all it takes to get a fresh perspective on life's biggest problems is a little sarcasm. Being sarcastic indicates that you are careless and almost happy. In spite of life's ups and downs, you may live with both emotions. Show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile when it gives you a hundred reasons to grieve.

7. Surrendering once things are difficult

All things are difficult before you get used to them and they become easy and normal, and often the hardest paths lead to the top. There are no easy ways to anywhere worth going, so you must bear the discomfort and do what is right for your future, not just what is easy.

As you age, you will learn that many of the presumed rules of life have been developed to be broken. Even when times are difficult, be bold enough to live on your terms and never apologize for it; go against the flow; refuse to compromise when you don't feel it's right for you; and take the lonely path instead of the one where everyone walks. Laugh in the face of adversity as best you can, and strive before fear possesses you. Dance like everyone is watching you, without caring for their opinions, and live your life your way with unwavering determination.

8. The desire for getting answers

Accept the feeling of not knowing your exact destination, and train yourself to love and appreciate this sense of freedom. Only when you feel you're hanging in the air with no specific destination in sight will you open your wings to the fullest extent so you can fly, and while flying without destination, you still don't know where to travel, but that's not what matters. What matters is that you opened your wings. You may not know your destination, but you know that as long as your wings are stretched, the wind will push you forward.

9. Overthinking negative news

For every outstanding news anchor reporting on how bleak and unfair life is, there are thousands of other people behind the scenes working tirelessly to make a positive change in the world. For every frustrating crisis relentlessly reported, there are thousands of real, meaningful success stories that don't get the attention they deserve, but they have a massive positive multiplier effect on humanity.

So, try to avoid letting bad news consume your thoughts, especially if you're going through a rough patch. When you receive terrible news, take the opportunity to learn from it and apply what you have learned to your ardent pursuit of a better tomorrow. Be thankful for your impatience, your ability to laugh at your anxiety, and the beauty in negativity because today is your best option.